Bad Taste Page #2

when me and Derek caught him.

He must have been going|somewhere.

They've probably got a base|up there or something.

They don't need a base.|They beam down from their spaceship.

Well, maybe they haven't seen|Star Trek, Ozzy.

Come on!

Sh*t!

Bye, bye!

That's my overtime up to date.|Here, do you want to do yours?

Hey, Frank!

Yeah, what is it, Barry?

Where exactly are you two?

About five miles from Kaihoro.

Yeah, well, just stay put.

I think I might have spotted something|and I'm moving in closer.

Finished, Oz?

Oh, sh*t!

Your phone...|Could I use your phone?

I was just... I was...

We've got trouble.

Good one!

Right, we're on our way.

I suppose you're wondering|why you're soaking...

in Reg's eleven|secret herbs and spices.

Tomorrow we're having you|for lunch.

You are the exotic|new taste sensation.

Human flesh is it!

You're going to be the first bit of meat|that we've had a chance...

to get our teeth into|since we arrived.

So we're going to treat ourselves|to a feast...

with you as the main course.

It's quite an honour really.

We'd better leave|so he can get some sleep.

I'll have the head, Reg.|I want to suck his brains out.

We ought to go back to|get reinforcements.

- That'll take a day.|- And the rest!

Take two days to do|the bloody paperwork.

Yeah, and by then that collector|bloke could be dead.

If he's not really.

Look, we'll go in...

after midnight.

Well, guess I'll have|to issue a gun to Ozzy.

Yeah, but don't forget about|his personality disorder.

Open season on E.T.s, Frank?

Remember, Ozzy...

Get in quietly, get out quietly.

I certainly hope that is the case.

Sorry, Oz.|We won't be needing that.

Bloody Barry!|Bastard!

What are we going to do|if we're spotted, Frank?

Well, I guess we shoot the bastards.

My turn to the magnum.

I just wish we didn't have|to wear all this crap.

Yeah, but you know|what the rules are.

When we work undercover|we have to remain faceless.

Oh, I get it, just in case we kill|a lot of innocent people.

Don't you forget, we're only|authorised to use violence...

when there's a threat|to the planet Earth.

- And the moon!|- And the moon!

There you go, Oz.|Stick this stuff on.

We ought to have a look around.

If these are aliens, they might have|parked their spaceship.

They might have come|in a telephone box.

Well, let's just get that guy out|and will contact base...

and give them|the code-words for invasion.

"The bastards have landed."

"The bastards have landed."

I'll be there in a moment, Robert.

Welcome, my friends.|The job is almost done.

We take off for home tomorrow.

I'm sure you'll be pleased|to be leaving this shitty planet.

In the meantime I must impress|upon you the importance...

of remaining in human form...

no matter how awkward, uncomfortable|and ugly it makes you feel.

We are so close to success|that we must take no chances.

Right.|Looks pretty quiet.

- Probably all gone to bed.|- Jeez, I hope not.

Right, synchronise watches.

Twelve-oh-one.

Check.

Check.

Let's go.|We're on triple time.

The sad news is that|we will be heading for Nalic Nod...

with six of our co-workers|in a state of permanent death.

They died today,|murdered by some real arse-holes.

Robert escaped their clutches|and reported back to me.

My God!

What the...|My God... the blood!

Sh*t!

Somebody could get killed in here.

Vacuum the floors,|clean the windows and...

all the boxes must be loaded into|the freezer early in the morning.

We've been wasting our time|unless we can present samples...

to the Nalic Nod Fast Food Authority.

Isn't it amazing how you can fit|a whole town of humans...

into a few card of board boxes,|if you slice off the fat?

It's the value of keeping your knife|sharp and your mind clean.

Jesus, guys, Derek was right!

This is what's left|of the people from Kaihoro.

They're in those boxes!

Get him, Barry!

For God's sake, guys,|keep it quiet!

Shut him up, Oz.

I've just cleaned that bit.

That's gross!

They come to bits easy!

Get rid of it!

The old magic's still there.

What are you doing, Frank?

I'm going to go in and find out|what's going on.

Here, he was carrying this.

You, stay here.

...the importance of keeping|the bloody books up to date.

The past week has been difficult...

and I would like to say|how proud I am of you all.

The manner in which you conducted|a very tricky slaughter operation...

has been a real credit to you|and indeed...

to the whole Crumb's Crunchy|Delights organisation.

Your paychecks will reflect|the gratitude of the company.

I don't think we'll have|any more trouble.

However...

we will be handing|these around later.

I am certain that...

when the homo sapiens taste takes|the galaxy by storm as it will...

Crumb's Crunchy Delights|will be back at the top.

McYaballow's Fried Moonrat|won't know what hit them.

All the livestock we need|are right here.

Four billion of them!

Right, Robert.

Once the Fast Food Authority|have checked the samples...

and issued|the Mass Slaughter Permits...

this grotty little planet|will tremble...

under the full might of|the Lord Crumb restaurant chain!

Within a year the giant mincer|will descend from the sky...

the sun reflecting|from its silver bits...

and no army on earth|will be able to stop...

the noddy-burger machine!

I see the gruel is ready!

An exquisite bouquet, Robert.

Aren't I lucky, I got a chunky bit!

Here you are, boys.

We'll bring out a whole line...

of homo-sapiens low-calorie|delicacies...

juicy raw rump...

brains soaked in lemon juice...

spinal fluid sauce...

assorted organ stew...

sapien-burguers...

and chewy homo nuggets.

Just before we leave tomorrow...

we'll have a little party dinner|with fresh local meat.

It's my show of appreciation|to you all.

Christ, you'll never believe|what I just had to do!

Did you have to drink|some chuck?

Come on, let's find that guy|and get out of here.

Goodnight, boys.

Goodnight, Reg.

Oh, Robert,|what a lovely little hottie!

You OK?

Careful!

- Thanks.|- Get dressed.

Door!

Well, at least we got in quietly.

Stay here!

Up here!

Got him!

Good one!|Get the bastards!

There's more outside!

Split up!|Send the boy up here!

Come on!

How many did you see?

About eight or nine.

Nah, there's heaps more.

That's one less.

- Ever been in a gun battle before?|- No.

Me neither, but this one's|going to be beaut.

Go, Frank!

Cover the back!

Gotcha!

Come on!

Look out!

I bet that cleared his sinuses.

That's another beer|you owe me, Oz.

Let's go that way.

You reckon?

Too right!

Bastard!

Bastard!

Go, I'll cover you!

Where the hell's Barry?

Oh, sod it!

Oh, sh*t!

Jeez!

The gun, Robert!

Come on, Barry,|stop farting around!

Right, let's go out of here.

What the hell is that?

- Well, it sounds to me like...|- Oh, shut up, codpiece face!

You three, kill them!

The rest of you get these bodies|on board the ship.

- Jeez, they're real d*ckheads!|- Derek was right all along.

Get him, Oz!

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