Bad Teacher Page #2

morning on the first day of school?

how do i know what you heard?

listen, I dont wanna tell you

how to run your class but..

maybe it might be fun to try

some icebreakers..

like telephone charades,

or this string game..

are we gonna have a problem,

me and you?

No,..eli.. if i gave you that impression

well....ah!.. I'm so sorry

because ..actually i was really hoping we could be

more than just across the hall mates

I don't know what you heard

but I don't need muff pie(vagina)

No, of course not

I don't even know what that is..i..

just meant friends

- tell you what, friend..i've gotta get going, cover me

Elizabeth, lunch isin't for

another seven ...minutes...

...whos gonna watch your quadrant?

Hi, there.. you look like Losty MC Losterson..

I know right?

Can you tell me where room 107 is?

I'll take you there

- Oh. You dont have to do that

Oh! Stop it, be my pleasure.

Scott Delacorte.

- Elizabeth Halsey.

I am the new sub.

- Welcome welcome

Thank you.

- Is that Jaeger-LeCoultre?

Good eye

thanks, I love men's watches, its kind of a hobby

you know sometimes I get self-conscious about it but...

My grandfather made it, so..

- Oh your grandfather designs watches?

the family business, yea my mothers

maiden name is lecoultre

shut up! so did you and your wife just moved to town?

- I'm not married

I actually just got out of a relationship.

Catherine

its been a year, she's still

the wallpaper on my phone

she has such a big heart

- Looks like enormous

As you can see the weight is evenly

distributed and there is minimal scar...

Dr. Vogel, best hands in Chicago

May I?

- Absolutely, take em' for a spin

God! Wow! yea..these are amazing

- Thank you.

And the nipples..oh..

- I know

I'll take two

the total is $9300 for the surgery,

plus one night stay at our facility

How would you like to pay?

thats absurd.. i'm a teacher

not a drug dealer

We accept all major credit cards

- yeah well.. my credit situation is little.. complicated

I'm sorry, but if you cant pay,

then i can't schedule the appointment

I'll be back

I'm rooming with a guy i met on craigslist

all i'm asking you for is 10,000 dollars

you owe me for breaking off the engagement

you know how humiliating that was?

Lover...lover look, I dont wanna fight..

its only $ 10,000... it would mean the world to me

Lover... are you there?!!

f***ing troll

- did you call my name?

No, i said f***ing troll

- Oh, I thought you said Kirk

Do you have 10 grand?

- Nope

And also i might be a little short on

rent this month, like a lot short

This might help. Wanna get wasted?

- Uh..Yea...

Cool, see ya.

We are in a state of emergency, and my word is law

There is only one boss in this place, and that's me

The HNIC

Alright..We'll pick this up again tomorrow

Can I help you?

What?

- I am the student leader for the trip to Springfield

Shocker!

- We're having our carwash this weekend

If you're around, maybe we could

wash your car.

The Springfield trip is the best part of 7th grade...

... last year's car wash raised 6000 dollars

bringing these magazines to school is not the

way you are going to make friens, those 8th Grade boys..

are just using you

so i go now?

- Yes, you go now.

But if i see these again,

I'm gonna call your parents

Do you understand?

Go to class.

Hey hey..Hey!! go to class.

Another exciting day in the Principal's office

Do you have a second?

Uhh yeah. Oh! You know what I wanna talk to you too,

did i hear that right, that you were showing movies all last week?

Hmm.. some clips, maybe

But you know in a lot of ways

i think that movies are the new books

Is this new?

I love it

You know,I've always said that

dolphins are the humans of the sea

I have a bumper sticker that says that

- No way?

I'm not kidding.

It's on my car.

Come on...

Hold on a sec...

His name is Simon and he lives

in the Cayman Islands..

With his brother, Ajack

What a great story.

- What did you wanna talk about?

I was thinking that I wanna get more involved

You know..I don't know...Something like ...maybe..

supervising the 7th grade car wash.

Uhh..you know Amy has been running after like.. two years

- Yea, but she does so much already.

It might be nice to give her a little rest

It's so nice to see you becoming a real

member of the JAMS family.

It just feels so good to help.

Holy sh*t!

- Alright, let's do this.

Hey, Mr. Delacorte, yes!

Hey, kids.

- Hey..

Hey, You better not take it for a joyride

- Are you sure?

- I'm watching you.

Miss Halsey..I'm impressed.

- Thanks, I've been working out.

What a turn out.

- Oh yeah, the kids are just having a blast

Well, that's what it's all about.

God, you know we should go get a drink tonight

I feel like getting drunk

I mean not "drunk" drunk, strong buzz

still be able to drive.

I'm sorry...I can't get em'.. just not ready

but if you're patient..

I think i might be worth your while

- You're worth the wait

- I think so too

Wally, it's Amy Squirrel.

- Amy? What are you do...? Get out of here!

this will just take a sec...

Umm..I happen to be pedalling past

the 7th Grade car wash this Saturday

- Kill it! Can we talk about this later?

- Later we'll all die said the gator to the fly

Fuckk!! What?

- Just go

Now, i don't want to speak out of school

but ..from where i was sitting, i think ...

It seemd like Miss Halsey was getting

pretty chummy with the money

Are you accusing Elizabeth of embezzling

from the 7th grade car wash?

Wally..we barely know anything about her

- Hey, you know what they raised almost $7000.

So whatever she did , worked.

Lee Mathews dad called, he said the car wash was a raging success.

And Lauren Lisman's dad called and he said

we should have car wash every weekend.

So instead of accusing her,

you might wanna ask her for some pointers.

Well if those pointers include wearing provocative beach wear..

..for money, i think i'll pass.

This is ridiculous, this is the one place in this building where

I'm allowed to be alone with my thoughts

I only had this once a day..

If I'm lucky.

Next time you accuse one of my teachers of stealing,

you better have some evidence.

God damnit! we are done here.

Alrighty, have a super awesome day, you two.

Holy f***! i thought she was never gonna leave.

What's going on with you?

Need a tissue? huh?

She is such a phony.

- Yeah, major phony

But she also cares a lot too.

I love how his eyes sparkle when he smiles.

- I wanna sit on his face.

Hey, guys.

- Heyy.

Lynn, will you go grab me some milk?

- What kind of milk do you want?

The skim, whole, 2% , chocolate?

Surprise me.

- Okay, i'll get you skim, no 2%..

So...

- Holla, fellow educators..

Is everything okay with Gaby?

- She will be fine.

I told her, Gaby if you're not happy with yourself,

you cant expect others to be happy with you.

It starts with you.

- I'm sure she appreciated that.

And it's exactly what i told Elizabeth when she

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes