Bad Teacher Page #6

Aww...Come on.

anyone wants extra sticker on their wall star board?

What brings you here?

Mr. Apple.

What was that, Mr. Apple?

You want me to take a bite?

Alrighty roo..

Elizabeth, I just want to thank you again

for stepping in today, you really saved us here

No problem.

Is Amy gonna be okay?

Yea, Amy's gonna be fine

- Well, let her know she's in my prayers

Someone's calling my name.

I dare you.

- I'm not afraid of your dare, Fabrigo

That's really dangerous, Russell

I'll call you from the hotel.

- Bye, Amy.

Yea, she's sitting right next to me

- No

Thanks for calling again

Amy says "hi"

- Well she sure calls alot

So, are you excited about your surgery?

I've never been more excited

about anything

It's a pretty inspiring message

to the kids

We should never stop working on ourselves.

Like you, with your little b*obs

or me experimenting with ethnic food.

Gosh!!

I never loose my keys.

Such a dingaling

What's wrong with your face?

- What is wrong with your face?

Hey..I'm

Just trying to make conversation.

We're all done

- Super, thanks a bunchames

I knew it.

Well that is definitely Marjarie, only with kind of weird hair here

In real life she's actually very pretty.

She in some kind of trouble?

- Marjarie? I think you're the one who might be in some kind of trouble.

Did you or did you not give her

a copy of the state test?

No, no...no

absolutely not, no I..

I did give her some quotes for her article

What article?

- Her..article for the Tribune. She's a reporter there, right?

Test tampering?

At JAMS?

This time I have a witness and

like I said Wally, she stole the Anne wig

We're dealing with

a criminal mastermind

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news Wall..

You know.. how much we all love her.

Okay, well ..You know

I have to call the superintendor

We're gonna have to cross check

her entire class's scores

This is a real sh*t sandwich!

Course, you know what scares me the most, Wall?

This is just what we know, right?

Who knows what else she's capable of?

So aweful

Fruit Roll-Up?

You know, when President Lincoln

abolish slavery ...

It was not a popular opinion

- Hmmm

- I just hate slavery so so much.

Slavery's the worst

If I could go back in time

and undo slavery? I would.

I hate it.

I hate it.

Hey, I'm sorry to interrupt you guys, but...

I couldn't help it over hear your conversations

Can I tell you guys what I hate?

Sharks.

- Well sharks can tear families apart.

But they're also so majestic.

- They are beautiful creatures.

But they're also so ferocious

- So ferocious

One of nature's

cruel joke i guess..

Thank you, Elizabeth, for listening.

Scott, I want you to know

You can talk to me about anything.

Your jeans feels so good

against my jeans.

Totally

- Hey, your body feels so good.

Oh, I need some water.

Oh i'm dryin' the sh*t out of you

- Oh Dry F*** the f*** outta me, Scott.

Just stop talking.

I'm close.

Don't move.

Here i go. ..Almost.

Wait for it.

Really close.. Ready?

- Mmmm..Yea.

Just stop talking

Almost there.

That was great

- More like amazing

Well, i'm gonna get going

I don't want the kids to see me leaving your room - Yea

You're so symphatico.

Maybe next time

we can dry hump without our clothes on.

I'm pretty sure I'd like that

Even your forehead is sexy.

Oh, time for bed

All right then

- See you in the maniano

Elizabeth, don't let the bed bugs bite

I was just going over some stuff for tomorrow.

Yeah, cool..

I'm serious.

- Okay

Cheers.

They forgot to re-stuffed my minibar.

How's yours lookin'?

You know, i'm super tired

I'm just getin' in the sack

I'll see you tomorrow then

- Good night

And 17.

Oh, hold on. Shelly ...Ooo

Shelly, someone's got a message.

Ah! dry humpin' the sh*t out of you

- Yeah, Dry F*** the f*** outta me, Scott.

I wasn't always president.

Oh!! no!

I had many jobs when I

lived here in New Salem

My fave..My favorite job was,

'Splitting rails'.

which is why they call me 'rail splitter'.

Anybody know...anybody know

any of my other nick names??

"Honest Abe".

- Yes, obviously. Honest Abe.

That was the big one

Honest Abe

They always called me that because

I said what was on my mind

Even if it made me unpopular.

Remember, a great man always has the courage

to say what is in his heart.

Yea?

I love Chase Rubin Rossy

- Great.

Who would like to see Mary Tod churn butter?

churn butter?

I love you, Chase.

I wanna yell it from the mountain tops.

And even though you pretty much stop talking

to me in fifth grade...I don't care

I remember the Chase

that wrote me a card

When my dad was overweight and

had to go to the hospital because of his heart

And a year later, when he left my

mom and moved in with his trainer ...

You wrote me another card.

What happened to us?

Remember, in the second grade when we

had a sleep over and you wet the bed?

And you were so embarassed, and you made me

promise never to tell anyone?

Well, I never have

and I never will

So there it is

My heart honestly

Don't let me leave

- Oh! Please don't

Always

believe

Gross..

Buuhhr!

Loser.

Guys, c'mon

settle down

Okay..Let's see how Mary Tod's

doing with that butter

Okay..That's enough.

We get it, you're crying

She just laughed at me

and called me 'gross'

Yeah! did you hear your speech? Come on lets go back.

- No

No, I'm not going back.

- Come on.

just leave me alone.

Get your ass back here

We done running?

Ah? Everything okay in here?

- It's okay, I'm his teacher.

Oh Okay

Take your time.

She's never gonna like me, is she?

Are we still on this?

- She's my everything

Here is the deal man..I cannot keep sugar coating this for you.

This girl is never gonna be interested in you.

Never. You clearly have a... rich

interior life with the poems and the whatever but..

She wants a guy like Ian.. What's his face?

- Ian Mentelbaum? The rapper?

He's an idiot.

- Yea, he's a f***in' moron.

But she doesn't care

She's superficial and

her priorities are all f***ed up

She likes him because he's

hot and popular dude. You...

...are sensitive.

- Yes, thank you

It's not a compliment.

You have some rough road ahead of you

Seventh grade is not your moment.

- Yeah, eighth grade will be better.

Probably not.

I think in college

That's your window

be ready.

..If I go back out there

everyone's gonna laugh at me.

Maybe this will help.

- What are you doing?

I'm giving you a gift.

Oh wow..

We are gonna change the new cycle

Trust me on this.

I thought it would be heavier.

Don't be weird, and take this off

never f***ing wear it again, what are u, crazy?

Everything okay with Garrett?

- No, it's not

I found him hooking up with an eighth-grader

from another school. She was jerking him off

Yea, I'm gonna give him detention when we get back

- That's probably a good idea.

Garrett Portman, I was a kid from

an old boys school.

Yea, and he was wearing this

- What?

Awesome

- It's real..

It's a nice thing you did.

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