Bad Teacher Page #5

I don't know, it's just not me..

It's good to know there's still some

actual educators out there

What else, Sasha?

- I think I've told you everything.

Anyone know where Danny Morebox is?

- Any more movies in class?

No, we're actually learning. Hey do you know

Animal Farm isn't even really about animals?

Animal Farm?

Sasha, that's not even on the syllabus.

Yeah, I know you're forgetting something.

One extra credit on your diagram, want or not?

- I do I want it.

Okay, okay think.

- Let me think.

Well there was... Never mind.

- What?

Well it was okay..It was medicinal.

And if she claims it's medicinal,

I would demand to see a prescription.

That's what I would do if I were you, Wally.

Do you have any proof other than what one student

thought she saw?

Well this one student is in line to be editor

of The Daily Musket next year.

She's got a lot to loose

going public with this

If the Teacher's Union found out that i was administering

a drug test to a teacher with this little proof...

They would make my life a living hell, Amy..

So, you're just gonna let her walk free?

That's it!

Amy, Stop that

Stop it!

Sorry.

Sorry.

- Sit down.

Amy, Do you see this beautiful

little glass dolphin figurine?

Mmmm...

Look at it

Yeah.

- Look at it.

Looking at it!

- Elizabeth gave this to me.

She is a thoughtful young woman

and she is teaching for all the right reasons.

Wally!!! Can't you see? She is

manipulating you through the use of dolphins?

No, what i see is that you are getting worked up

And what i would hate to see...

....is for you to get overwhelmed...

...like you did in 2008

Gotcha! Thanks Wally,

for bringing that up.

For i'm all about that.

Do not do that with your mouth.

Regular mouth.

"Atticus Finch is a good lawyer because

he is a good person...

...who's a lawyer. "

Stupid point, misspelled.

"Stupider"

Is this English?

Are you f***ing kidding me?

Pathetic. this is why the Japs are overtaking us.

And believe me i don't mean you.

But, we're working really hard.

You're not working hard enough.

I need results.

Class dismissed.

OFFICIAL PRACTICE TEST MANUAL

I need that test!

Good afternoon, Illinois standard student test

How may I direct your call?

Hi, my name is Marjarie Goodman and

I'm calling from the Chicago Tribune

Who could I speak to regarding the allegations

of racial bias on your standardised tests?

Please hold..

Marjarie?

You must be Carl?

Thank you for meeting me on such short notice

- Of course. Sure..

Did you find the boys okay?

Was it a good drive? - Great drive

Listen Carl, I know that you are a very busy man

So, i'm just gonna get right down to it

I've been speaking to various....

ah..black...citizens...who

..alleged that your test are biased

towards white people and orientals.

Okay..lemme tell you something right away

A:
Orientals tests better ...

B:
Every couple of years we get these cockamamy

charges coming in from various parts of the state

Lemme dat daa..

Usually here, the things that they call me

Racist, faggotron, faggy Hitler, dick breath ...

Okay..?

But I am not racist.

I voted for Obama, you can quote me on that in your article

You know what i think would help..Carl..?

For me to see one of

this year's tests

Oh! Sure, i can get you one easy

No problem

Great...great!

Umm..The day after the schools administers them,

I will shoot one right over to you.

I was hoping to see it sooner.

I'm on a bit of a deadline.

No, no...that is absolutely classified

Unless, ..unless you have one of these bad boys, right here

Wow! You know Carl..

Enough business for one night, don't you think?

Oh..oh tell me bout that..

- I think i'm gonna have another drink before i hit the road

..It's like the freedom and the wind in your hair

obviously the image...you don't wanna...

But then there were others like..just..

like hopeless or scary..so i..count me out

But you seem like such a wild man Carl..

What turns you on Carl?

Eh..Everything.

- You wanna know what turns me on?

Sex in an office.

Getting f***ed really hard against a wooden desk

Mine's metal.

- Even better.

And voila.

so..

This is the desk.

Do you have anything to drink?

Uh Uhh!! Yes i do!

Voila.

White wine in the office? Bad Boy...

Do you have any music Carl?

- I have the Internet radio.

I love Internet radio

You.ve..come to.. the right place.

Cause i have that

See, I am not a wiz' at this computer here

Umm.. it's relatively new and Grace who is ah..

work with me on Mondays and Wednesdays and Thursday and...

I share her with Greg across the way

Greg across is actually the guy who got me into spinning

Oh, there we go.

Shall we toast?

To new friends

And new lovers

I'm gonna take off my shoes, is that okay?

- Whatever man. I'm gonna go hit the ladies room.

Okay..There's a handicapped one..which is way closer

use the handicapped one, its way closer

I took off my shoes?

- Oh Carl...

I wanna f*** you baaside desk

I wanna f*** you against the desk

Carl..I'm gonna need you to pass the f*** out

Marji..I am going to rock your vagina

Ohh..The wine is good

Hello titties..

ONE MONTH LATER:

If anyone has any information

regarding the missing Anne wig...

...please..let me know ASAP

Come on, guys.

There's a wig missing

Because if that wig isin't found, you can bet your bottom dollar

the sun will not come out tomorrow.

Back to you, Wally.

Ahh..Okay thank you, Amy.

I'm sure everybody wants to get home so i'm gonna be quick

Four scores, seven years ago.

That's a ..Goddamn it! Sandy..

Sandy's so funny.

Huh...I have here

I have here the results of the state exam

And I'm happy to announce that the..

John Adams Middle School, that's us ...

Scored in the top 5%

of the whole state

Nice..

good job, guys..

And i wanna single out

i wanna single out one of our own

Who show that with hard work and dedication ...

One teacher can make a difference.

And this teacher is now

$ 5700 richer

With the highest scores in cookcounty

That's the whole county

I want everyone to give a big round of applause

To Elizabeth Halsey.

Well done

- Thank you.

Congratulations, Miss. Halsey.

Thanks dude.

Well if it isn't Professor Smarty pants?

- Don't mess with me, I'm a lot stronger than I look.

Elizabeth, i am so proud of you.

I mean if someone told me at the beginning of the year

that you..'you'... will get the bonus ...

Won't have had to say to whom ever

it was "No way".."Absolutely not" and..

Now, here we are..

We should go out and celebrate.

Your treat?

Yea, unfortunately Elizabeth, Scott and I have to go

over the itenerary for the Springfield trip

We're the chaperones

we're going together.

We're dating..so..

It'll also be romantic.

Have fun.

- Yea, You're not seeing anyone now, right?

Almost...done..

Okay..so that's endorsed

And put the rest on these

Just put it

- Alrighty

Okay.

"Ms. Squirrel says reading is fun"

"Learning is Fun-tastic"

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