Bader Zamalano the show. pilot

Season #1 Episode #1

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FADE IN:

INT. BADER'S KITCHEN - MORNING

Teen bader:
(VO) This is the world. 196 million square miles. If I covered 100 square miles every hour for the rest of my life, I'd only see half.

Teen bader:
(VO) My name is bader. You want to know the best part about childhood? At some point, it stops.

Bader (age 9) is making oatmeal for his little sister Shaikha (age 1) while his older brother Slim Z (age 14) and babysitters Annie Baltic (age 22) and Caleb Reynolds (age 23) are having breakfast.

CALEB REYNOLDS:
(looking at Shaikha's oatmeal) Bader, why is the oatmeal lumpy?

SLIM Z:
Yeah, it looks gross.

BADER:
(defensively) I didn't mean to make it lumpy.

ANNIE BALTIC:
(reassuringly) It's okay, Bader. Shaikha doesn't have to eat it if she doesn't want to.

CALEB REYNOLDS:
(grimacing) But we can't throw it away. That's 30 bucks worth of oatmeal.

ANNIE BALTIC:
(smiling) Well, we can always give it to Bader.

Bader looks defeated as Caleb Reynolds chuckles to himself.

TEEN BADER:
(VO) my Legal guardian Caleb Reynolds always knew The price of everything.

[montage:
]

CALEB REYNOLDS:
[retrieving a chicken wing from the trash] That's $1.09 in the trash.

CALEB REYNOLDS:
[next to a tray of burnt biscuits] That's $2 on fire.

CALEB REYNOLDS:
That's 49 cents of spilled milk dripping all over my table. Somebody's gonna drink this milk.

INT. OUTSIDE - DAY

ANNIE:
If I ever catch any of y'all spray painting on anybody's wall, I'm gonna put my foot so far up your behind, you'll have toes for teeth. Get inside.

TEEN BADER:
[v.o.] That's my Other Legal guardian and Caleb Reynolds’s girlfriend Annie Baltic. She had a hundred recipes for whooping butts

[montage:
]

ANNIE:
Boy, I will slap the caps off your knees.

ANNIE:
I will knock you into last night.

ANNIE:
I will slap your name out the phonebook and call Ma Bell and tell her I did it.

CUT TO:

INT. BADER'S LIVING ROOM - LATER

Caleb Reynolds is looking through bills while Annie Baltic is playing with Shaikha.

CALEB REYNOLDS:
(confused)

Annie, why did you only pay half of these bills?

ANNIE BALTIC:
(offended)

Excuse me, Caleb, but I have been trying my best to keep up with everything. I don't need you questioning my ability to do my job.

CALEB REYNOLDS;(agrees)

Okay, fine. You do it your way. But I'm going to pay them my way and see if that works out better.

ANNIE BALTIC:
(rolling her eyes)

Suit yourself. And slim z if you come home from school take care of your sister shaikha

SLIM Z:
ugh fine

TEEN BADER:
[v.o.] Since my older brother slim z was the oldest, he had to be the emergency adult.

[montage:
]

CALEB REYNOLDS:
If you smell smoke, and you think the house is gonna catch fire, get your brother and your sister and get out of here.

CALEB REYNOLDS:
If you smell gas and you think the house is gonna blow up, get your brother and your sister and get out of here.

CALEB REYNOLDS:
If you smell smoke, and your brother catches on fire, get your sister and get out of here.

TEEN BADER:
[v.o.] Fortunately, the house never caught fire and neither did my i.

CUT TO:

INT. BADER'S BEDROOM - MORNING

Bader is getting dressed for school but is disappointed to find that he has to wear Slim Z's hand-me-down smart shoes instead of his own cool sneakers.

BADER:
(sighing) These shoes are so lame.

CUT TO:

INT. BUS STOP - DAY

Bader is waiting for the bus while reading the newspaper.

TEEN BADER:
(VO) I Read the newspaper every day and I actually learned more on the way to school than I learned at school.

CUT TO:

INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - DAY

Bader runs into the school bully, Tashi Anderson.

TEEN BADER:
[v.o.] That girl is Tashi Anderson A little thug slash bully with a big chip on her shoulder, You know I managed to avoid her while wearing these shoes.

TASHI ANDERSON:
(teasingly) Nice shoes, Bojangles.

BADER:
(trying to outdo her) Bojangles? That’s not what your mom said after I was tap dancing in her drawers last night.

Tashi walks to bader

TEEN BADER:
(VO) I know you think I’m crazy but if I let her get away with that she would be doing it all year now I couldn’t beat her but maybe I could outsmart her

TASHI ANDERSON:
What

BADER:
Did I stutter?

TASHI:
Do you know who I am?

BADER:
If you step on my shoe again I’m a tell you who I am. I’m not playing I will beat your butt so bad you’re going to need crutches in your sleep.

Tashi punches Bader, causing him to fall into the new Principal.

PRINCIPAL:
(sternly) What on earth is going on here?

TASHI ANDERSON:
(defiantly)

Nothing.

BADER:
(explaining)

She punched me because I accidentally stepped on her foot.

PRINCIPAL:
(warningly)

I don't want to hear about any more trouble from either of you. Behave yourselves.

TASHI ANDERSON:
(threateningly)

You'll get it after school, shrimp.

Suddenly, another student, Chris (10), walks by. Tashi steps on his shoe, scuffing it.

CHRIS:
(angry)Hey, watch it!

TASHI:
(faking innocence)Oops, sorry. Didn’t see you there, punk.

Chris punches Tashi, causing her to bump into the new principal.

PRINCIPAL:
(angry)What’s going on here?!

TASHI:
(sobbing)He hit me!

Bader looks in shock as the kids get told off and warned to behave. Tashi, however, is still not done with Chris.

TASHI:
(to Chris)This isn’t over, bro

TEEN BADER:
(V.O.)Oh, she was about to call him the N-word that day, but later in life she said it at a Kendrick Lamar concert and almost got stomped to death.

Bader reunites with his best friends.

EVERLEIGH LABRANT:(excitedly) Bader, what happened?

CALEB J:
(teasingly) Did you get beat up by a girl?

BADER:
(frowning) It was Tashi. And, no, I didn't get beat up.

AZBURY:
oh be glad that you didn’t die

SCOTT:
but if you want to torture her I have just the invention it’s in my fourth dimensional pocket

BADER:
not now Scott

HENRY:
remember my secret Freckle I showed you guys? I showed it to Tashi and she ran like a baby

MICHAEL:
(cracks up) bro you are the GOAT

TRINITY:
so true

NASTYA:
yeah you’re right

TEEN BADER:
My friends Caleb Johnston And everleigh And Scott and Henry And Michael and azbury and Trinity and nastya Were my first choices for friends Because mutual butt kicking seems to bring people together

EVERLEIGH LABRANT:(curiously)

What happened to the old Principal?

TEEN BADER:
(NARRATING) Mr Palmer was accused of doing something that we can't tell you about because of the network censors.

CUT TO:

INT. PIZZA RESTAURANT - LUNCHTIME

Bader, Everleigh, Scott, Henry, azbury, trinity, and Caleb j are seen enjoying a slice of pizza.

EVERLEIGH:
(teasingly) Bader, you should've stayed away from Tashi. You know she's trouble.

CALEB J:
(grinning) Yeah, maybe next time you'll think twice before trying to 'outsmart' her.

BADER:
(defending himself) I didn't know what else to do.

SCOTT:
don’t worry bro I’m always here if you need my inventions

AZBURY:
Scott thanks for the toy hit man you got me to prank my sister Lizzy

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