Bag Boy Lover Boy

1

This is a Manhattan bound local train.

Albert...

Albert...

Albert...

Albert...

Hey!

Hey buddy, how you doing?

Hello!

Can we have two hot dogs please?

Thank you.

Uh...

Buddy, I'm guessing that hot dog is not for me, right?

No, that one's not for you.

Okay, alright, who's it for then?

Pays for tomorrow's customers.

And how do we know that the hot dog you're giving me

wasn't on the ground?

Here's your hot dog, okay,

it's nice and clean and fresh.

Buddy, that is disgusting, okay?

I'm totally gonna call the health department on you.

Look, do you want your hot dog or not?

Why would I want that sh*t?

What the hell's the matter with you, dude'?

Excuse me, good people?

I think the rule of thumb is if you want a hot dog,

you gotta buy it, right?

Okay?

No sense in sweating these little things, right?

They'll drive you crazy.

Listen, buddy.

Did you see this pig?

He dropped it on the ground,

and then he placed it back up on the grill.

What do you think about that?

I think you should just pay the man, walk away,

find yourself a little fancy restaurant...

I think you should just mind your own business,

find your own hot dogs...

Actually, I'd like a hot dog.

I bet you would.

I bet you would like a hot dog.

Let's go babe, okay?

I'll take that hot dog right over there.

Listen you fat f***...

yeah, that's right, I went there.

I'm sorry, that's where I went.

You didn't go far enough, cause if you did, you'd be home.

Yeah, that's great, thanks, yeah, I'm gonna go home now.

Take yourselves right back up to that graveyard

you call the Upper East Side.

Just ignore him.

This looks terrific.

Yeah, I bet you like that hot dog.

I sure do,

this is what a real hot dog looks like, darling.

Are you f***ing serious?

Really?

Stop doing this, please stop...

are you serious?

I am absolutely serious.

That's how you talk to a lady?

Actually, I thought that was a culinary opinion.

I bet you know about culinary opinions, bud.

Yeah, I know more than a couple.

You have a good night.

Good night.

Snob sh*t.

This town is filled with em.

It's a darn good hot dog.

What do I owe you?

Two dollars.

Two dollars.

Keep the change.

Thank you.

What's your name, anyway?

Albert.

You know, the heat from the grille

actually helps keep the hot dogs clean and germ free.

Really?

You're a smart one.

I'll see you around, kid.

Responding officers felt they had no choice

but to shoot the suspect multiple times

to end his vicious attack.

The 68 year old victim was fighting for his life

in the front of a hospital.

You're a lazy man.

I know.

Why you make mess?

What?

Why you make mess, dirty man?

Look...

Why are you late?

Savoy does not work.

Oh, I hate it when that happens.

I'll take over, see you later.

Okay.

What are you doing?

Taking your picture.

Why?

It's my job.

I'm a photographer.

You should ask for permission first.

Really?

Well, okay.

Tell you what.

Here's your permission.

Okay.

So you like money, huh?

You want to make some more'?

I don't know.

I'm not suggesting anything untoward.

I was thinking about a job.

What kind of job?

Art.

Real art.

I don't know anything about art.

I could teach you.

I already have a job, I don't have time.

Oh yeah?

I'll give you my business card.

And here's a little out of incentive.

Make time.

Hey!

Albert!

Hey!

How's it going?

Long time no see.

I've been trying to find a job lately, actually.

But I haven't eaten in a while,

can I have a hot dog?

Yeah, sure, but I gotta go to the bathroom first,

could you just watch the hot dog stand for me?

Sure, Albert.

Thank you.

The

onion crunch, I like it.

Yeah, you should actually try the onion crunch dog,

because it's really good.

Especially, like, with the onion, super crunchy.

Is that your camera?

Yeah, yeah.

Night street photography is my thing.

Oh, wow, cause I have some contacts

that actually help you get your stuff in galleries.

I'm not quite at that level yet.

I think I need some more practice, what do you think?

Let me see.

I like this one.

You took all of these?

Yeah.

Can I help you with something?

Yeah, can I get a hot dog and a soda please?

You know, for some reason, I thought you were the vendor.

Oh, no, I was just watching it for my friend Albert.

Good friend.

I figured you were too hot for this anyway.

Um...

Albert, can I have a hot dog too?

That'll be five dollars.

Can you charge me for hers too?

Oh, actually, I get them for free from Albert, so...

But you could buy me a beer instead,

and we could look at some more of your photos.

Sounds like a plan.

Albert, is my hot dog ready?

Thank you!

Well, look what the cat dragged in.

Our model has finally arrived.

Welcome to my studio, Albert.

Honey!

Hi honey!

Hello?

Hi, I'm Nancy, I'm with wardrobe.

Okay?

I have some paperwork I need you to fill out,

so come with me,

we're gonna put it over here,

and then we'll get you changed,

so fill this out for me, okay?

Here, let's put this down, we'll put it here.

I'm just gonna have you sign right there.

What is this?

It's just legal, standard legal, don't worry about it.

I would like to read it first.

Read it later, Albert.

It's a basic model's release form.

Just protecting you and me,

legally and otherwise.

We're just gonna take your shirt off.

Why?

Just...

Albert, it's part of the job, just do it.

Come on.

We have a robe, it's alright.

Do you need help?

You know, you do have a nice body.

Ivan, she's ready.

Thank you, Jackie.

Nancy?

Just about!

Ls Albert ready?

You're good?

We're in a very animated mood, aren't we?

Albert, lose the robe.

Oh, I love it.

Terrific, go stand next to her.

Hi.

Okay, now, Albert,

I want you to get acquainted with Sarah, okay,

because we're gonna make a little scene here.

He's so shy.

Oh, he is shy, but he's not gonna be shy in a minute.

I think I'm his first girlfriend.

Oh, yeah, that's it.

She's your girlfriend, she's your girlfriend.

Do you remember your first girlfriend?

Remember, you want to get to second base?

Now get closer to her.

Have you been to second base before?

Think of the Madonna, you know?

And you're like the baby Jesus.

Take him there, Sarah.

She's kind of like mama.

Don't you want to go home to mama?

Think about going home to mama

after a hard day at school.

The first thing you do is you hug mama, don't you?

He's getting excited now.

Uh oh, he's a growing boy, isn't he?

He's already...

You're a big boy.

My goodness, why don't you give mommy a big hug?

Yeah, show mommy some love.

Oh, but you know what you want.

That safety of returning.

Give mama a hug, that's right.

Don't you want to unhook her bra and feel her titties'?

Don't you want to know what they feel like in your hand?

Doesn't that turn you on?

Oh my goodness, Sarah,

why don't you feed him a strawberry.

I think he's hungry, he wants you to feed him.

Are you hungry?

I think he's hungry.

Is that what you want'?

Yes he does.

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