Bamboozled Page #2

People scurry out.

DUNWITTY (CONT'D)

Monsieur Delacroix, in my office now.

8.

INT. HALLWAY - MORNING

The writers, beat down, come out of the conference room and

move past SLOAN HOPKINS, a highly attractive African-

American "sistuh."

Delacroix sees Sloan and holds her arm as they walk. He

talks under his breath.

SLOAN:

How was it?

DELACROIX:

Why didn't you tell me about this

staff meeting?

SLOAN:

Nobody told me anything.

DELACROIX:

What good are you if you don't tell

me stuff like this?

SLOAN:

It wasn't my fault. If I would

have known, I would have known.

INT. DUNWITTY'S OFFICE - MORNING

Delacroix enters his corner office, which has huge action

photos of ALI, JORDAN, GRIFFEY, TYSON, AARON and JABBAR on

his walls, it is also decorated with African art throughout.

ANGLE ON:

Office. Dunwitty looks at the floor-to-ceiling windows

overlooking mid-town Manhattan.

DUNWITTY:

Do you know what C.P. Time is?

DELACROIX:

C.P. Time is Colored People's Time.

The stereotypical belief that

Negroes are always late. That

Negroes have no sense of time -

time except when it comes to music

or dance.

They both laugh.

DUNWITTY:

Let's sit down over there.

9.

Dunwitty and Delacroix sit on the sofa.

DUNWITTY (CONT'D)

I'm sorry about my blowup but I

have to have a whipping boy every

meeting.

DELACROIX:

I understand. But again, in all

honesty I was not informed.

DUNWITTY:

Forget it. I believe you're my

most creative person I've got on

staff. You're hip. You know

what's happening. I got some corny

white boys and girls writing for me.

Delacroix doesn't join him in his laughter because he

doesn't know how to take that comment or where Dunwitty is

headed with it.

DUNWITTY (CONT'D)

I understand Black culture. I grew

up around black people all my life.

If the truth be told I probably

know "n*ggers" better than you,

Monsieur Delacroix. Please don't

get offended by my use of the

quote-unquote N word. I got a

black wife and three bi-racial

children, so I feel I have a right

to use that word. I don't give a

damn what Spike says, Tarantino is

right. N*gger is just a word. If

Dirty Ole Bastard can use it every

other word so can I.

DELACROIX:

I would prefer you not use that

word in my presence.

DUNWITTY:

N*GGER. N*GGER. N*GGER. N*GGER.

Delacroix pounces on top of Dunwitty like a cat on a mouse

and gives him a quick BROOKLYN BEAT DOWN.

DELACROIX:

Say it again. C'mon, say it again.

CLOSE ON:

Dunwitty. He's a bloody pulp.

10.

CLOSE ON:

Delacroix.

He straightens his tie.

DELACROIX (CONT'D)

Who's a n*gger now?

POW. This is a fantasy in Delacroix's mind. We go BACK TO

REALITY. Everything's how we left it.

DUNWITTY:

The material you've been creating

is too white bread. White people

with black faces. The Huxtable's,

Cosby, revolutionary. But that's

dead. We can't go down that road

again.

DELACROIX:

I don't agree. The Negro middle

class does exist, and it's rich

material for a dramatic series or

sitcom.

DUNWITTY:

I'm telling you it's not.

He goes to his desk, picks up Delacroix's scripts and starts

throwing them one by one against the window.

DUNWITTY (CONT'D)

The middle class black family moves

into a white suburban enclave. The

middle class black family moves

into a small Southern town that is

run by the KKK. The middle class

single black father raises his

teenage daughter. The middle class

single black father raises his

teenage daughter. The middle class

single black mother raises her

teenage son. And so on and so

forth. It's too clean, too

antiseptic...

DELACROIX:

...to white? I still feel all of

my scripts would make good shows.

11.

DUNWITTY:

Delacroix, wake up, brother man.

The reason why they didn't get

picked up was because nobody - and

I mean NOBODY - n*ggers and crackers

alike wants to see that junk.

DELACROIX:

I've never been given a fair shot.

DUNWITTY:

You got your head stuck up your ass

with your Harvard education and

your pretentious ways. Brother

man, I'm blacker than you. I'm

keepin' it real and you're frontin',

trying to be white.

DELACROIX:

I'm an oreo, a sell out? Because I

don't aspire to do HOMEBOYS FROM

OUT OF SPACE, SECRET DIARY OF

DESMOND PFEIFFER, A PJ's or some as

you might put it, some "n*gger"

show? I'm a Tom? I'm whiter than

white and you're blacker than black?

Is that what you think?

DUNWITTY:

That's exactly what I think. I

want you to create something that

people want to see. Let's be

honest, the majority of the people

in the country are deaf, dumb and

blind and I'm including 35 million

African-Americans. You know and I

know "n*ggers" set the trend, set

the styles. This is a golden

opportunity now. These idiots have

to be led to the water.

DELACROIX:

I'm not sure if I can deliver what

you want.

DUNWITTY:

You will or you'll be back at BET

so quick you'll never know what hit

you. I need a mid-season

replacement and pronto. It will be

on the fast track.

12.

DELACROIX:

What is it you want from me? Some

plantation follies? Some sitcom

that takes place on a watermelon

patch? Some show that follows four

n*gger generations of junkies and

crackheads? You want me to go back

to the ante bellum days?

DUNWITTY:

Yes! Yes! Yes! I want a show

that will make headlines, that will

have millions and millions of

households tuned in, glued to their

televisions every week. I want

advertisers dying to buy on this

show. I'm gonna squeeze this show

out of you if it kills you.

EXT. TENEMENT - NIGHT

WE SEE a street lamp, and coming out of it are some wires.

WE FOLLOW the wires into a tenement building.

The residents have tapped into a street light courtesy of

CON EDISON for power.

INT. APARTMENT - NIGHT

Cheeba stands in front of the makeshift kitchen, which

includes a hot plate, and prepares a gourmet meal of a tasty

Spanish dish. The clean apartment is furnished with stuff

people have thrown out that they picked up on the street.

MANRAY:

I'm starvin' like Marvin.

CHEEBA:

My world famous, famous world Arroz

con pollo will be ready very soon.

MANRAY:

Hurry up, I wanna watch HBO.

CHEEBA:

Did we get our bill yet?

They both laugh.

MANRAY:

I guess that will come with the

rent, gas, and Con Ed bills, too.

13.

CHEEBA:

Ahh, the luxuries of life.

MANRAY:

Yo, check it. This is good and all

that but one day soon I want to

have much Benjamins so I can have a

nice crib and pay all my bills.

You hear me.

CHEEBA:

Chill, I'm the brains behind this

outfit.

MANRAY:

And I'm the feet.

CHEEBA:

Yo, you gotta show some patience.

You want me to snap my fingers and

presto chango - you're an overnight

sensation. Son, there is no such

thing.

MANRAY:

I'm tired of waiting.

INT. DELACROIX'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

He sits in front of a large flat-screen television, watching

the Yankee game and eating his takeout Chinese food. On top

of the monitor, he has attached a sign that reads "FEED THE

IDIOT BOX."

INT. SLOAN'S STUDIO APARTMENT - NIGHT

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