Bananas Page #2

for a large corporation.

l make sure products

are safe and practical.

Today l tested an exercise machine

and an electrically warmed

toilet seat for cold days.

Would you like some coffee?

lf you're hungry, l could open

a can of ribs if you want.

Ribs? l'd love some coffee,

but l have a lot of work to do.

Here, l'll make you some. lt'll take

two seconds to make some coffee.

How can l find out more about your

cause? l have a lot of spare time.

Would you like to volunteer

for the Volunteers for San Marcos?

ls it possible to discuss that

over dinner tomorrow night?

Doesn't have to be tomorrow night.

l'm open for the next six years.

l have a yoga class tomorrow night

and l couldn't miss that.

Yoga. l love yoga.

Do you really? Yoga -

it's one of my great passions.

l love Eastern philosophies.

lt's... metaphysical and redundant.

- Yes.

- Abortively pedantic.

- l know just what you mean.

- Thank you.

Have you ever read the l Ching?

Not the actual Ching itself,

but l've dabbled in kierkegaard.

- Oh, well, of course he's Danish.

- Yes.

He'd be the first to admit that.

Yeah... Yeah.

You know, l was just saying to...

Have you ever been to Denmark?

l've been to... Yes, to the Vatican.

The Vatican? The Vatican's in Rome.

Well, they were doing so well in Rome

that they opened one in Denmark.

l was just saying to someone the

other day that the Scandinavians

seem to have such an instinctive

feel for the human condition.

That's very wise.

You know, that's... l think, pithy.

lt was... pithy.

lt had... great pith.

Yeth. Pith.

Pith.

Lithen, l have to... Listen, l have

to go. l have a lot of work to do.

l'd love to have coffee,

but l don't have time.

- l have an early class tomorrow.

- lt'll just take a second.

l know, but l have more bells to ring

and l have an early class.

- Really? You a student?

- Yeah. City College.

That's a great school. l ate in their

cafeteria once. l got trichinosis.

- Oh. l'm a philosophy major.

- That's a wonderful subject.

Wonderful thing. What is the meaning

of life and death? Why are we here?

- You like Chinese food?

- Yeah. That sounds... When?

The night after tomorrow?

That's... l can't. l have a meeting

of my women's liberation group.

You're not... You don't have

hostility to the male sex?

Women's rights do not automatically

mean castration.

Don't say that word. Now l've got to

walk around like this for two days.

l know. l'm that way on that word

appendicitis. l can't take that.

- But castration.

- Castration, appendicitis. Either.

- No, there's a difference.

- No, there isn't.

What about Saturday?

Listen, why don't you take

my phone number here

and call me on Sat...

Call me on Saturday.

lt's those two pieces right there.

Ok? Bye. l may be bombing

an office building, but l'll find out.

- Ok. lt was nice to meet you.

- Nice meeting you, too.

Oh, wait. You forgot to sign my petition.

Sorry.

Nancy. You may call me Fielding.

l think Mr Mellish is a little formal.

The two of us together.

Fielding from the Latin meaning

''strong'' or ''with strength''.

You'll come to lean on that strength

after a while

and to know you can rely on me.

l've always been a great champion

of the underdog.

l think anyone could tell you that, my pet.

You see, Nancy, l've always

been devoted to humanity.

To a guy like me, the greatest crimes

are the crimes against human dignity.

How is it?

Can you hear the music clearly?

This should be a great seller in California.

You wanna play poker tonight?

We got room.

- l can't. l got an appointment.

- What kind?

- l'm gonna picket an embassy.

- What?

Don't worry. l know what l'm doing.

lt's a little light.

l'll get the shade.

- Do you have any candles?

- No. Why?

This light for the mood -

it's not right, right now.

That's too light.

- ls it warm in here?

- Warm?

Warm.

Where's the bathroom?

- The bathroom?

- Right there.

Leave a little air.

l love you. l love you.

Say it in French. Please say it in French.

- l don't know French.

- Oh, please. Please.

What about Hebrew?

l was... l was always very shy

when it came to girls.

l remember when l was a little boy,

l once stole a pornographic book

that was printed in Braille.

l used to rub the dirty parts.

And l... l guess l had a good

relationship with my parents.

l... They very rarely hit...

l think they hit me once, actually,

in my whole childhood.

They started beating me

on the 23rd December 1942

and stopped beating me

in the late spring of '44.

l was a nervous child.

l was a bed-wetter.

When l was younger,

l used to sleep with an electric blanket

and l was constantly electrocuting myself.

lt's funny, l had this dream

that l've had since l was a child.

l had it again one night last week.

Where l'm...

l have to tell you something

and l don't know how to break it.

- Fielding...

- Why? ls something the matter?

Have you seen X-rays of me?

l saw X-rays of you.

- l fail to see the humour of this.

- You didn't see the X-rays.

- Tell me what's the matter.

- Nothing.

You know when your heart beats?

Well, my heart is beating.

l just don't think we should

see each other any more.

- Really?

- Yeah.

- l'm sorry.

- Why? What's the matter?

There's just something missing

for me and l don't know what.

What do you mean?

Something missing from me?

- Yes.

- What do you mean? Like what?

Like...

Can you say what is missing from me?

No. Maybe if you could guess

a few things, l could try.

- What do you mean? Can you tell me?

- l don't know what's missing.

- ls it personality or looks?

- Well, no.

- Am l not smart enough?

- No.

- Because l'm not...

- No.

lt has nothing to do with height?

lt has nothing to do

with the fact you're short

or the fact that you're not bright enough.

Nothing to do with the fact

that your teeth are in bad shape.

So what, then? l don't understand.

Has it got to do with...

lt's not my personality.

Do you have fun when you're with me?

No... But it's not that.

lt's not that l don't have fun with you...

We have fun when we laugh.

Don't tell me that we haven't laughed.

- lt's not that we haven't laughed.

- Certainly l laugh a lot.

- Sometimes you don't laugh and...

- l can't put my finger on it.

- Something's missing.

- What? Can you be specific?

The relationship isn't going anywhere.

- Where do you want to it go?

- Where could we get it to go?

That's not... l don't know where.

l love you.

l mean, l love you and you love me.

No. And it's not because l don't love you.

- Then you love me?

- No, l don't.

- That's what l mean...

- But that's not why.

Something is missing.

l need a very strong man.

- l'm strong.

- l need a leader.

l have all the qualities of leadership.

l'm interested

in so many vital political things.

- Me, too. That binds us together.

- l wanna work with pygmies in Africa.

l wanna work with lepers

on a leper colony.

No, that's perfectly Ok.

l love leprosy. lf that's what you're

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