Bandits Page #4
It's just for fun.
I'm going to the gym.
See you!
- Sweetheart...
- Yeah!?
Why don't you go see a movie?
Stoop!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
Are you all right?
Are you OK?
Come on!
I'm so sorry.
Come on. Hospital, hospital.
"Cascade Memorial Hospital is
located at..."
Can you move your toes?
Voices.
I hear voices.
I heard voices.
Are those in my...?
Hey!
You pull! You pull!
You pull over and...
You pull over and get out of the car.
Don't need to get all huffy about it.
You... you need to pull the car over...
It was an accident.
Listen.
I will shoot you with this thing.
Oh, go ahead!
It will be an improvement, believe me
Are you listening to me, miss?
- Kate.
- Kate.
I'm a desperate man.
- Desperate?
- Yes.
You don't know
the meaning of the word.
Desperate is when you wake up in
the morning and you wish you hadn't
...it's knowing that every time
you get by in the wheel of a car...
...you're only a tree away from ending the
empty charade that your life has become.
So, don't talk to me about desperate.
Listen. On second thought, why don't you
just pull over and let me out right here.
- Thank you for the lift. I'll be fine.
- No. No!
I'll just walk from here.
Why?
I'm feeling very fragile
at the moment.
I don't think I should be alone.
You're insane!
I'm unhappy.
It's not the same thing.
Hey!
I'm a fugitive from justice.
I'm a dangerous criminal.
Oh. That explains the hijacking.
You hit me!
You can't expect to step in front of a
moving automobile and make it stop.
Yes you can!
I've seen it done!
Will you not yell at me!?
Well, can you slow down, or
something?
I wanna get out of here.
I'll jump!
That's what I wanna do!
How do I do to unlock this door?
Push your button.
Let... let...
Unlock this door!
So, where you're headed?
I'll drop you.
You're in no shape to drive.
So, you're a fugitive, huh?
- What did you rob?
- Everything.
"Alert! The Global Positioning
System is rerouted! Alert! Alert!"
Where is that coming from?
What is that?
Between the second set of trees...
...the second set of trees, right here.
I'm on fire!
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
Just don't ask!
Look here! Yeah!
What the hell is this?
Kate, Paul Bunyan.
Paul, Kate.
Kate?
I ran out of gas.
And?
And she hit me. With her car.
OK. She hit you with her car.
What the hell did you bring her
out here for?
One:
I had no choice.Two:
I may have suffered a slightconcussion.
And three:
She's mentallyunbalanced to a spectacular degree.
I can hear you.
I tried to escape.
She wouldn't stop.
I almost jumped from the speeding
car, Joe!
You hear me?
I had double vision.
What was I gonna do?
Your left eye is a fraction darker
than the right one.
Nobody ever noticed!
I'm Joe.
I'm Kate.
Oh! What happened to your tooth?
Why don't you just go on your way,
OK?
Act like you never met us...
...and send us a postcard from
Crazy County.
Can I stay here?
Is just that
I don't know where else to go.
It will only be one night.
Please?
I'm not sure we can do that.
Absolutely no way!
That's not possible!
I can't go home.
I can't.
I could go to the police.
I mean... What's to stop me from
leading them straight to your hideout?
What are you hiding from?
Anyway... I mean he didn't tell me.
He's very, very discrete.
Come here, Joe. Come here.
What are you...?
What's with the...?
- Joe, I wanna talk to you.
- What's happened?
Jesus! This is a very, very bad idea.
In the history of bad ideas
this is a humdinger. OK?
She's right about the police.
Shoot her!
Bury her body in the woods!
What am I?
Invisible?
- She says she has no place to stay.
- It's none of our business.
Well, it is now that you brought
her here, isn't it?
Well, I needed a ride! OK?
There I was sprawled down
on the asphalt.
You know the hardest thing
about being smart?
No.
I always pretty much know
what's gonna happen next.
There's no suspense.
And don't think I didn't see
the look in your eye over there...
...and feel out a little hair
and that kind of stuff.
I'm implementing
a 24 hour rule from now on. OK?
It's in effect.
24 hours.
24 hours
and not a minute longer, missy.
Thank you.
Hey!
I'll cook dinner.
I cook the dinners around here.
Sorry. Not familiar with the
outlaw code.
Does that mean I'm a hostage?
Well, I was in Las Vegas.
Don't get excited.
I'm not talking to you.
But Joe, you know the costs.
Hotel remodeling, real estate.
I've estimated $20,000
for the kitchen alone.
I mean we're talking
about restaurant-quality here.
And that's not to mention
the nightclub.
You know, I've got a crippled cousin
up in New Hampshire...
...that's going in for her 7th
operation on her leg. OK?
I got my mother's people
up in Ottawa...
...the aunts and the uncles...
...these bills add up Terry, OK?
Listen. I'm really impressed about
any and all charitable contributions.
How crippled?
Did you know you could bet on
Irish hurling?
Hey, hey, hey!
Excuse me, Harvey!
why my partner here...
...when he wasn't helping improve the
Blake family standard of living...
...manage to spend $200,000.
I met a very lovely young lady from
the Netherlands down in San Diego...
Oh! Color me surprise!
...who took me to this
Oktoberfest deal...
...and they had a big parade and she
wanted to ride on one of the floats.
OK?
So, I bought her one.
Now, we were drinking these big
steins of Holland beer...
...and one thing leads to another...
...and I'm throwing
$50 bills out to the crowd.
The thing about Irish hurling is that
it's like football with sticks.
Stop it! Stop it!
Please!
For God's sake, Pollard!
OK?
OK. You meet a girl,
you go to a festival...
Oktoberfest.
...you throw $50 bills to the crowd...
I noticed you got
a new gold watch...
It's an 18 carat-gold watch.
I don't give a sh*t
how many carats it is.
$36,000. No big deal.
Did you ever think
to ask someone about the time?
It's a lot cheaper.
Anything else?
Well, yeah.
We stayed a couple of days longer...
...than I thought we're gonna, down in San Diego,
and I had to get her back to the Netherlands...
...so I chartered a private jet
to take her home.
Oh! Of course you did!
- The Netherlands.
- Yeah.
- Joe!
- What?
Listen.
Let me try
to explain something to you.
Paradise doesn't come cheaply. OK?
Now, I figured this
down to the last nickel.
Now, and here's the important part...
...every nickel that we spend
is a nickel that we have to steal.
Now, that's a lot of nickels, Joe.
I don't wanna rob banks
for the rest of my life.
The stress level
is just too damned high.
Harvey...Joe...
Dinner's almost ready.
Now, this is not bad.
It's a little... Hmm...
...it's a little chewy, but...
You boys, ever eat
and talk at the same time?
We used to.
So, what sort of work do you do?
Crime wise.
Bank robbery.
Well, they rob banks
and I drive the getaway car.
Harvey!
That's enough, Harvey!
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"Bandits" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 23 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/bandits_3544>.
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