Bandits Page #4

It's just for fun.

I'm going to the gym.

See you!

- Sweetheart...

- Yeah!?

Why don't you go see a movie?

Stoop!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Are you all right?

Are you OK?

Come on!

I'm so sorry.

Come on. Hospital, hospital.

"Cascade Memorial Hospital is

located at..."

Can you move your toes?

Voices.

I hear voices.

I heard voices.

Are those in my...?

Hey!

You pull! You pull!

You pull over and...

You pull over and get out of the car.

Don't need to get all huffy about it.

You... you need to pull the car over...

It was an accident.

Listen.

I will shoot you with this thing.

Oh, go ahead!

It will be an improvement, believe me

Are you listening to me, miss?

- Kate.

- Kate.

I'm a desperate man.

- Desperate?

- Yes.

You don't know

the meaning of the word.

Desperate is when you wake up in

the morning and you wish you hadn't

...it's knowing that every time

you get by in the wheel of a car...

...you're only a tree away from ending the

empty charade that your life has become.

So, don't talk to me about desperate.

Listen. On second thought, why don't you

just pull over and let me out right here.

- Thank you for the lift. I'll be fine.

- No. No!

I'll just walk from here.

Why?

I'm feeling very fragile

at the moment.

I don't think I should be alone.

You're insane!

I'm unhappy.

It's not the same thing.

Hey!

I'm a fugitive from justice.

I'm a dangerous criminal.

Oh. That explains the hijacking.

You hit me!

You can't expect to step in front of a

moving automobile and make it stop.

Yes you can!

I've seen it done!

Will you not yell at me!?

Well, can you slow down, or

something?

I wanna get out of here.

I'll jump!

That's what I wanna do!

How do I do to unlock this door?

Push your button.

Let... let...

Unlock this door!

So, where you're headed?

I'll drop you.

You're in no shape to drive.

So, you're a fugitive, huh?

- What did you rob?

- Everything.

"Alert! The Global Positioning

System is rerouted! Alert! Alert!"

Where is that coming from?

What is that?

Between the second set of trees...

...the second set of trees, right here.

I'm on fire!

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

Just don't ask!

Look here! Yeah!

What the hell is this?

Kate, Paul Bunyan.

Paul, Kate.

Kate?

I ran out of gas.

And?

And she hit me. With her car.

OK. She hit you with her car.

What the hell did you bring her

out here for?

One:
I had no choice.

Two:
I may have suffered a slight

concussion.

And three:
She's mentally

unbalanced to a spectacular degree.

I can hear you.

I tried to escape.

She wouldn't stop.

I almost jumped from the speeding

car, Joe!

You hear me?

I had double vision.

What was I gonna do?

Your left eye is a fraction darker

than the right one.

Nobody ever noticed!

I'm Joe.

I'm Kate.

Oh! What happened to your tooth?

Why don't you just go on your way,

OK?

Act like you never met us...

...and send us a postcard from

Crazy County.

Can I stay here?

Is just that

I don't know where else to go.

It will only be one night.

Please?

I'm not sure we can do that.

Absolutely no way!

That's not possible!

I can't go home.

I can't.

I could go to the police.

I mean... What's to stop me from

leading them straight to your hideout?

What are you hiding from?

Anyway... I mean he didn't tell me.

He's very, very discrete.

Come here, Joe. Come here.

What are you...?

What's with the...?

- Joe, I wanna talk to you.

- What's happened?

Jesus! This is a very, very bad idea.

In the history of bad ideas

this is a humdinger. OK?

She's right about the police.

Shoot her!

Bury her body in the woods!

What am I?

Invisible?

- She says she has no place to stay.

- It's none of our business.

Well, it is now that you brought

her here, isn't it?

Well, I needed a ride! OK?

There I was sprawled down

on the asphalt.

You know the hardest thing

about being smart?

No.

I always pretty much know

what's gonna happen next.

There's no suspense.

And don't think I didn't see

the look in your eye over there...

...and feel out a little hair

and that kind of stuff.

I'm implementing

a 24 hour rule from now on. OK?

It's in effect.

24 hours.

24 hours

and not a minute longer, missy.

Thank you.

Hey!

I'll cook dinner.

I cook the dinners around here.

Sorry. Not familiar with the

outlaw code.

Does that mean I'm a hostage?

Well, I was in Las Vegas.

Don't get excited.

I'm not talking to you.

But Joe, you know the costs.

Hotel remodeling, real estate.

I've estimated $20,000

for the kitchen alone.

I mean we're talking

about restaurant-quality here.

And that's not to mention

the nightclub.

You know, I've got a crippled cousin

up in New Hampshire...

...that's going in for her 7th

operation on her leg. OK?

I got my mother's people

up in Ottawa...

...the aunts and the uncles...

...these bills add up Terry, OK?

Listen. I'm really impressed about

any and all charitable contributions.

How crippled?

Did you know you could bet on

Irish hurling?

Hey, hey, hey!

Excuse me, Harvey!

I'm trying to figure out

why my partner here...

...when he wasn't helping improve the

Blake family standard of living...

...manage to spend $200,000.

I met a very lovely young lady from

the Netherlands down in San Diego...

Oh! Color me surprise!

...who took me to this

Oktoberfest deal...

...and they had a big parade and she

wanted to ride on one of the floats.

OK?

So, I bought her one.

Now, we were drinking these big

steins of Holland beer...

...and one thing leads to another...

...and I'm throwing

$50 bills out to the crowd.

The thing about Irish hurling is that

it's like football with sticks.

Stop it! Stop it!

Please!

For God's sake, Pollard!

OK?

OK. You meet a girl,

you go to a festival...

Oktoberfest.

...you throw $50 bills to the crowd...

I noticed you got

a new gold watch...

It's an 18 carat-gold watch.

I don't give a sh*t

how many carats it is.

$36,000. No big deal.

Did you ever think

to ask someone about the time?

It's a lot cheaper.

Anything else?

Well, yeah.

We stayed a couple of days longer...

...than I thought we're gonna, down in San Diego,

and I had to get her back to the Netherlands...

...so I chartered a private jet

to take her home.

Oh! Of course you did!

- The Netherlands.

- Yeah.

- Joe!

- What?

Listen.

Let me try

to explain something to you.

Paradise doesn't come cheaply. OK?

Now, I figured this

down to the last nickel.

Now, and here's the important part...

...every nickel that we spend

is a nickel that we have to steal.

Now, that's a lot of nickels, Joe.

I don't wanna rob banks

for the rest of my life.

The stress level

is just too damned high.

Harvey...Joe...

Dinner's almost ready.

Now, this is not bad.

It's a little... Hmm...

...it's a little chewy, but...

You boys, ever eat

and talk at the same time?

We used to.

So, what sort of work do you do?

Crime wise.

Bank robbery.

Well, they rob banks

and I drive the getaway car.

Harvey!

That's enough, Harvey!

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