Bandits Page #5

Wait a minute.

You're not...

the guys who go to the bank manager's

house the night before and...

- They do. I drive the getaway car.

- Harvey!

Oh, my God.

You're the "Sleep-Over Bandits".

Oh, my gosh,

you're practically famous.

The "Sleep-Over Bandits"?

That's us?

Don't you watch

"Criminals at Large"?

You should.

They're watching you.

You're astounding, Harvey.

So...

...you rob banks.

That's impressive.

What? The little old ladies' saving

accounts, and cub-scout dues...

...and homeless orphans'

Christmas funds?

Is that what...?

We never stole a penny from

anybody who earned it, lady.

The money's federally ensured

by the government.

The government steals money from people,

and we just take it back from them.

Any more questions, Kate?

Got a spare toothbrush?

I didn't have the time to pack.

God! Nobody could be that sick!

Put that down.

May I?

What are you doing here?

Cleaning my teeth.

I mean, manic depression, delusion,

I understand all that.

It's very impressive, but...

Do you know how many germs

are on your finger?

That kinda defeats the purpose.

If you don't give me a toothbrush,

I don't have much option, do I?

I don't think you're crazy at all,

you know that?

I think you're bored.

I think you're bored with your life...

...and you're expecting that some miracle's gonna drop

out of the sky, and suddenly make everything better

...or at least hopeful...

...because you lost hope

a long time ago.

And your marriage sucks.

But, I'm sorry, Kate.

We can't help you.

You don't know me.

You only think you do.

You're joking.

Saw it in a movie.

How does it end?

With a wedding.

Beavers and ducks.

Suckers.

I'm not waiting for anything

to fall out of the sky.

I'm not bored, I'm angry.

Maybe I'm running out of hope.

It's entirely my fault...

...cause I picked the wrong life.

"The Valley spirit is a woman.

"Use her root at the Gateway of

Heaven, and it will never fail."

What the hell is that supposed to

mean?

Not a clue.

I'm hoping that it means:

"Figure out what you want

and just take it."

Oh, please...

Well, like robbing a bank?

Like that. Yeah.

If only life were that simple...

"Like a shadow on me

all the time."

"I don't know what to do,"

"I'm always in the dark."

"We're living in a powder keg,

giving off sparks. "

"Once upon a time,

I was falling in love."

"Now, I'm only falling apart."

"Nothing I can do,"

"Total eclipse of the heart."

"Once upon a time

there was light in my life,"

"Now there's only love in the dark."

"Nothing I can do,"

"Total eclipse of the heart."

Oh, my God.

Give me a break.

"Turn around, bright eyes."

I can't believe you know that song!

Yeah. Bonnie Tyler.

Total Eclipse of the Heart.

It's the ultimate sappy chick song.

- It's not a sappy chick song.

- It's very sappy chick.

No, it's not. Please, don't argue

cause I've had a really hard day.

This is the song that all girls...

It is an epic haiku...

A what?

It is a haiku to the complexity of love.

It's also pretty embarrassing for guys.

When that song was out, I used to

listen to it on the radio...

...I have to admit I'd get a

little misty.

Really?

Yeah, a little.

And I would appreciate it

if you don't mention that to anyone.

I won't tell a soul.

Thanks.

It's all right.

I'll get it.

Oh, I can get it.

No, no. Just stay under the covers.

You know another song jacked me up

when I was a kid?

The song about the pony,

one five minutes long.

Oh, I love that pony song!

I love all pony songs.

- Really?

- Yeah!

It's the one that goes:

"Ride pony, ride..."

That's Mustang Sally.

Close. It's a horse.

Wasn't the pony called Sally?

No this pony. He was called Wildfire.

He busted down the stall.

They called him... Wildfire.

- Joe...

- Yeah.

I think I know what I want.

Amazing.

Joe, the 24-hour rule is all

that stands between us and chaos.

Are you listening to me?

We're at a crossroads here. And I want

you to be very clear about my meaning.

I'm changing the 24-hour rule.

OK?

No, no, no.

You don't understand.

She's a missing person.

Missing meaning

that someone's looking for her.

You get it?

I'm changing the 24-hour rule.

May I help you?

Oh, I'm sorry.

We're here to rob your bank.

What the hell is that?

It's a disorder that affects your ability

to regulate sleep and wakefulness.

I thought he was dead.

No, that's cataplexy.

A secondary symptom.

Sudden loss

of voluntary muscle control.

I just have a question.

Why now?

Well, in Larry's case...

...emotional stress

is the primary igniter.

Do you have a guest bedroom here,

madam?

We'll ask you to start right here

in the manager's office.

Go ahead.

You never know what's gonna

happen during a robbery.

That's the thing.

There's always

a surprise of some kind...

...you know, beyond your control.

But, I mean, the thing is that you have to

remain calm under pressure and think on your feet.

No, no! All that I'm saying is that it seems a

little silly falling asleep during a bank robbery.

Well, it may appear silly to you, but

there's a perfectly reasonable explanation.

Done.

I'm sorry.

I'm a little nervous.

It's OK, Larry!

Nothing to be nervous about.

You see, my body chemistry is

extraordinarily sensitive to suggestion

Any symptom can be manufactured,

given the right circumstances...

...and that, by the way,

doesn't mean it isn't real.

Ah! Jesus!

This stuff is hot.

Go get Mrs. Fife.

So, I met this girl and, you know,

I wanted to impress her, so I said:

"Do you wanna see me

light my hands on fire?"

'Cause I bet you've never seen

anything like that before.

And she said:

"Well, what about your head?"

Your head?

Yeah, my head.

You know, I don't have the proper

gear for that stunt, at least not yet.

I said:
"No way!"

But she wouldn't listen, you know.

Flaming hands wasn't enough.

She wanted to see me

set my head on fire.

So, what did you do?

Singed off half my hair.

A little bit more, sweetheart.

Here you go.

Is he coming around?

Because... because

we really need him to come around.

He's coming... around.

We really don't have that much time.

This is ridiculous.

It's the emotion.

A nervous breakdown here.

Guys, we have a problem.

We got multiple bogies

at nine o'clock.

What the hell is that?

It's the drive-up window.

Someone's at the drive-up.

At eight o'clock in the morning?

- What do we do?

- Nothing.

Hello.

I'm telling you, if you act too eager like that.

Dottie is never gonna give you a second look.

Women do not respond to needs.

It's the police.

Good morning.

Where's Dottie?

Who?

The drive-up girl.

Oh, I'm sorry, Dottie. Of course.

Aaah... she's sick.

Sick with what?

Vaginitis.

She's been suffering from an

abnormal vaginal discharge.

It's the common symptom.

A viscous fluid usually associated

with... well, Vaginitis.

It's usually associated...

All clear above us.

You're all right?

That was great!

- It's exciting, right?

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