Bandolera

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Quiet on set, please. Quiet down.

Here we go. Pulsara Mgica

testimonial, take 13.

- 14.

- Take 14.

And 3, 2...

Two years ago,

I was working on my roof

when suddenly...

I fell.

I hit the floor and hurt my back.

I couldn't find work.

Nobody'd hire me.

But thank God

I found The Magic Bracelet.

And since then...

- my life has changed...

- Cut! Cut!

We're not selling used cars.

We sell hope.

I repeat:
Hope.

Do it again.

I don't understand.

What don't you understand,

for the love of...

How do you sell hope?

How do I sell hope?

Watch me.

If I didn't believe that this bracelet...

worked miracles,

that this bracelet cured arthritis,

I wouldn't use it.

Now you understand?

The folks need to believe

what you're selling is real.

That the bracelet is real.

Act.

- You sure you got it?

- Perfectly.

- Sure?

- Sure?

But can you explain one thing?

What's that?

How does this bracelet work?

The script says it's going to send

energy all through my body.

Truth is I feel nothing.

And me, as a Method actor...

- I need to know what I'm feeling...

- What, what?

A Method actor?

What's your problem?

Can't you just say

the words as written?

You think I'm an idiot, or what?

Sorry. My nerves.

You're fired.

Let's give this Method actor

a hand. He's got to go.

Get out before I pummel you.

You!

You. The one cleaning.

How long have you been

in this country?

Two weeks? Three?

Get this man a script.

Pelocine...

The hair regrowth tonic for men.

You can be 80. Look 40. And have

more hair than when you were 20.

"TO ROB A THIEF"

Who has time to exercise nowadays?

Lose weight the easy way.

Apply Kema Krema and wipe away

those extra pounds.

A natural cream that helps circulate

the blood to your member.

Which means you'll be thicker

and longer where it counts.

And you girls will enjoy him

a whole lot more.

Thoughts?

It's sensational.

Because size does matter.

Days, months, years

living with muscle or joint pain?

Wowl 25/ growth?

It's the most effective

hair regrowth tonic.

Scientists have developed...

Lose weight the easy way.

Apply Kema Krema all over your body...

Ladies care about the size

of a man's member.

What's the solution?

As soon as I put it on, I, um...

I saw the difference, and I got better.

For instant relief

of arthritis and headaches,

try The Magic Bracelet,

the bracelet with magical powers

that'll change your life.

Well, two years ago...

I was working on my roof,

when I fell off.

When I fell, I hurt my back.

Sit down.

I wanted to stretch my legs.

It's just, we've been

sitting for hours now.

When someone comes to pay for you,

then you stretch.

Yeah?

Which one?

Wait here.

You. Nappy-locks. Get out.

Reinforced with titanium steel

and coated with crystals...

Thank you.

You've been so kind. God bless you.

What's the matter with you,

moron? Get out!

Go on! Get out!

Sorry.

Frickin' homo.

I hate this country.

Bro.

How ostentatious.

You like it?

Drug money?

What a racist comment.

Just because I'm a well-dressed

Latino with a car

doesn't mean I'm a drug dealer.

Since we last spoke,

I started my distribution company.

Check it out.

I saw this one. Good movie.

Very, very, very good.

I personally did the artwork.

I think you misspelled Crash.

Business is good, then?

Good enough to get you here.

Which reminds me. You owe me.

I owe you for what?

For getting you across the border.

Know what that costs these days?

Take what you need from here.

Where'd you get this?

From him.

Hand it over.

I wouldn't give it to him.

The gun's pointed at my head.

Still, I wouldn't give it to him.

Of course...

because the gun isn't at your head.

Enough chitchat. Give me the wallet.

If I were you guys,

I'd leave before he wakes up.

Improve your life. Call nowl

This job's not going to be easy.

I didn't expect otherwise.

"ENTREPRENEUR"

- He's doing very well for himself.

- Better than you thought.

How far is his office from here?

Ten minutes.

So these immigrants are here

every day, waiting for work?

Yep. Every day.

Good. You and Castillo go in

as day laborers like we did in '02.

So when do we hook up with Castillo?

Never. Castillo got married.

Lives the honest life now.

Let's get you out of those rags.

- What about Guzman?

- He's in Mexico.

I thought he was here.

He was, until he got deported.

Got picked up at a bus stop

in an INS sweep.

What about Rodriguez, then?

Please don't tell me he fell in love

and moved to Paris.

No, Rodriguez is still here.

What?

But he didn't like the 50/50 cut

you proposed.

Greedy friggin' bastard...

He's not alone.

Nobody understands

why you're keeping 50%

when we've always split

the full 100 evenly.

You and I both know this job is different.

This one's personal.

Besides, we're going after one man,

not some fat corporation like usual.

Son of a b*tch! Is there

no honor amongst thieves?

Aside from you and me?

What am I doing here?

You said everything was set up.

It is.

No, it's not set up.

For this job, we need a crew.

We can't do this one alone.

What if I told you I had a crew

that was okay with splitting 50/50?

Better yet, a crew that nobody knows.

Civilians?

Good. Because you know

I never use civilians.

Immigrants.

To hell with this.

I'm going back to Colombia.

Wait, Emilio!

I've scouted a few guys,

each skilled in what we'll need.

We need professionals...

- They are professionals...

- Professional thieves!

We'll train them.

In two weeks?

Please! Please!

This was your plan anyway!

You said it. People here don't

give immigrants a second thought.

Remember?

They're practically invisible:

The maid, the chauffeur, the gardener.

Moving in and out

of highly secure places...

I know what I said.

I know what I said.

- They go virtually unchecked!

- Exactly!

We were using professional thieves

posing as immigrants.

Except now we're using real immigrants.

We really don't have much of a choice,

Emilio. Other than...

calling it off.

So, Alejandro? Is the chapel

going to work for you?

It's your call, Emilio.

Do we donate to the parish

or forget this whole damn thing?

Donate.

The chapel's perfect, Father.

Tell me about these immigrants.

For all our technical needs,

we have the perfect guy.

His name is Julio Miranda, and he can fix

a computer with a toothpick.

Julio, is my camera ready?

What?

I said yes! Yes, bro! It's over there!

And he can mumble

in six languages.

And for transportation,

I have Rafa and Rafaela.

Shut up, Fifi.

What's up, Alex?

- Is that Rafa?

- No.

That's him.

Alejandro. What are you doing here?

I'm almost done with your baby.

You like it?

Now, that's a car.

That's why I'm the best.

Are you bringing me new business,

or is this your new lover?

Remember that job

I was doing with an old friend?

I've never stolen anything in my life.

And all this?

I ain't done nothing illegal since

I got out of juvie five years ago.

I assure you, this is worth it.

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