Bandslam Page #3

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Hey, you got a little something

on your upper lip there.

Don't talk to him.

Why? All right, what did I do?

Do you have a head injury?

I did not screw them over.

I have a chance to play with my heroes,

you know?

Dylan Dyer is an artist, right, Omar?

You said so yourself.

-He's all right.

-"He's all right"? The guy's a monster!

-Well, what about loyalty?

-No one's saying you aren't good,

'cause you guys are good.

You guys are really good.

We just have to be great, you know?

And sometimes you just have to realize

when it's time to step aside.

-Like right now. I have tables.

-BEN:
Why are you being like this?

You quit before any of this

even happened with them.

All right, can we just please

go somewhere and talk?

-I'm working.

-Okay, then tomorrow, after last period.

-I'm hanging out with Will.

-Who the heck is Will?

That the heck is Will.

Say hello, the heck is Will.

Hi.

You gotta be kidding me.

Will happens to be my friend

and the manager of my new band.

-Whoa! Hey.

-What?

-Your band? You guys are a band now?

-Yeah.

-And he's your manager?

-CHARLOTTE:
Yeah.

-This is crazy!

-Holla.

It gets worse.

This year, Van Buren's

sending two bands to Bandslam.

BUG:
What? What? No.

You guys are going up against Glory Dogs?

We are Glory Dogs!

You have changed, Charlotte.

Everybody says so.

Everybody's right.

My cell phone died.

-So, what happened?

-I got caught up.

All day?

With Charlotte.

I'm managing her band.

You're what?

I thought you were doing daycare.

-She's very demanding.

-Well, shouldn't we talk about this?

No. I think we should trust me.

Well, I do trust you.

It's just that five minutes ago

you were afraid to get on a school bus,

and now you're managing a band.

It's all just moving a little fast,

don't you think?

I made some friends, Mom.

I know.

It's uncharted territory for both of us.

(SKA MUSlC PLAYlNG)

Twizzler?

Food of the gods.

It's ska.

I like it.

-It's like reggae, but they made it their own.

-Exactly.

CHARLOTTE:
There you are. Hey.

Wait. Don't tell me you're the world-famous

Sa5m-the-5-is-silent.

For that alone, you are my hero.

-I'm Charlotte. Nice to meet you.

-I've known you since fifth grade.

You used to babysit me.

Huh.

Come on. Time for the ankle-biters.

They'll eat their own if we're late.

-Are we still gonna meet up after school?

-Yeah, it's a date.

Not like a "date" date. You know,

we're just working on a project for class.

-It's not like we're dating.

-She gets it, Will.

Okay. See you.

Nice seeing you again, Sa5m-the-5-is-silent.

Genius.

WlLL:
Dear David Bowie,

despite my usual worries and fears

and complaints,

Van Buren does not actually

completely suck.

As for the band,

they finally agreed to add a drummer,

but only if it's Basher Martin.

Apparently, he's the best drummer

in school,

(LOUD BANGING)

but all he takes are auto shop

and anger management classes.

Which he failed.

Twice.

I just have to be cool.

I just have to walk right up to him and say...

Drums.

What about them?

Look. You can either say

what's on your mind,

or take your little afro

and go ahead and scurry back...

You play.

Wow, this is hard.

I'm Will. I manage this awesome band.

We need a drummer for Bandslam.

Hey, look, I'm sorry.

You know, I need things in my life

that keep me calm.

You know,

I hate the whole Bandslam thing.

It's just a bunch of lemmings

chasing after a record deal,

but they don't care about their art.

You know, I care about art.

And if you do too,

then how can this be enough for you?

I mean, you're a musician,

and here you are going through life,

passing people every day,

and no one knows that inside,

you're this golden god.

Don't you feel like Clark Kent?

I do kind of feel like Clark Kent.

Look, I'll tell you what.

Have them make a rehearsal demo.

I'll check it out, see how they sound.

No. That would be like licking the pages

of a cookbook.

You have to actually go hear them.

Play with them.

Make them great.

(CELL PHONE PLAYlNG CHANGES)

BASHER:
Who's the babe?

I dig older chicks 'cause they're

the only ones who really get me.

That's my...

Older sister.

Well, she actually hangs out with the band,

like, all the time.

All the time.

So, you know...

(SlNGlNG)

Didn't l, didn't l, didn't I see you crying?

Didn't l, didn't l, didn't I see you crying?

I can't believe I'm doing this.

I have a very slim shot at being popular

if this whole band thing works out.

You can help me do it.

He is 17 years old!

He likes older chicks.

I look ridiculous.

No, you look great. We'll run you

through a carwash on the way home.

-How old did you tell him I was?

-Twenty-three.

God!

Dude, that was sick.

Look, it was obviously better,

but we still need a fuller sound.

-What?

-I'm thinking we bring in

some more players, just for Bandslam.

That's the dumbest idea I've ever heard.

Get out of my house.

-We don't need any more players!

-Hey!

We have a guest.

Hi. Thanks.

And Will's right. We probably should

bring in some other players.

-You mean, like, use sidemen?

-Hold on, wait. Use what men?

Sidemen. Will's dad is a sideman.

Plays with lots of famous bands.

Is that what you meant, Will?

BUG:
Will's dad is joining the band?

...these huge stadium crowds at that time,

and I'm thinking,

"What are these people doing here?

Why have they come to see me?

"They should be seeing Phil Collins.

They were definitely... "

I'm taking a shower.

I'm taking three showers.

Will, what's a sideman?

"...your mother and l,

we tried to protect you from all this,

"but... Well, if you must know,

your sister ran away. "

"Why did you kill Ziggy?"

It was hard for all of us...

(RAPPING) Yo, his name is Chet

and you know he's crunk

He likes the girls that got the junk

He's a paperboy

And he's making them bills

He got these diamonds all up in his grills

He makes the grades from day to day

When he go to the club he don't gotta pay

Hey, we're almost the only ones left to go.

We should get together.

Soon, I promise, 'cause I really

have to work on the band now, you know?

They have to sound fuller.

They're living on Cheap Trick covers.

It's embarrassing.

You don't have to. You want to.

You haven't heard them.

Believe me, I have to.

You want to.

WlLL:
Dear David Bowie,

first thing we need is a brass section.

Though, granted, Van Buren

has a limited pool to choose from.

The pianists around here are all classical.

(PLAYlNG CLASSICAL MUSIC)

If Arcade Fire can have a cello,

we can have a cello.

- Need a hand?

-Need a Stanford-Binet test?

What? Sorry. It looked heavy.

I have eight weeks

to turn them into an actual band.

We need to take all this

psychotic energy and talent

and turn it into something new.

Okay, look, let's just start

by playing something simple.

You guys ever heard of blue beat?

Basher, get behind your drum kit.

Please?

All right, now, give me a Sly and Robbie

kind of groove, you know?

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