Bang the Drum Slowly Page #5

Bring it back!

Attaboy, Pearson!

Yeah, attaboy, Bruce!

Not bad, huh, Dutch?

Nah, not bad.

Arthur, how do

I change my beneficiary?

Who do you want to change it to?

To Katie.

She's going to marry me at last.

When?

When you change

your beneficiary?

Arthur, you got no right

telling me who I can

and who I cannot change

my beneficiary to.

Why didn't she marry you

last year or the year before?

Well, she never

loved me before.

Before what?

Before now.

How is now

different?

Arthur, will you

change it for me

or will you not

change it for me?

I'll write away to Arcturis.

Well, when?

Tuesday.

Well, why not now?

Because it's time

to go the ballpark.

Oh, I seen you dash off

many a letter

standing against the wall

or when you was in a cab.

This is a matter

of $137,500.

Now, a large figure

like that

has got to be handled

sitting down

with plenty of time

to whet your pencil.

Well... okay, but don't forget,

and do it Tuesday, huh?

Hey, Arthur, come here.

I want to talk to you.

How are you, Tootsie?

Pretty good.

I want

to ask you something.

Why can't you Mammoths get it

together, for heaven's sake?

What's with the squabbling?

You know, considering the

personnel of the organization

you'd be on top of it

if you guys hung together.

What do you guys do on the road,

anyway?

I think that's what's wrong.

Oh, I'm sorry; this hotel does

not provide such a service.

I'm sorry.

And I wish somebody'd tell Dutch

to bolster up the catching.

You know, I'm going to tell him

myself if I see him?

You do that, Tootsie.

Quick, Arthur,

help me, for God's sake.

This place is full of fish.

Yeah? I'll get Bruce.

Let him sleep; it's tegwar.

He wants to join us.

Let him sleep;

the two of us are enough.

Then let him sit in for me.

He can't do it.

Don't you understand that?

I promised him, Joe,

and you promised me in Florida!

Shh! Arthur,

this is waking him up.

You promised me.

"Promise me, promise me."

You sound like a song.

Oh, promise me that

we will never part...

What are you two, anyhow,

Romeo and Juliet?

One can't play cards

without the other?

Forget it for today, Joe!

Romeo and Juliet... I

don't know which is which.

Oh, Joe, how's the show?

I will make you sorry

for this, Arthur.

I really will.

You're going to pay for this,

Arthur!

What's the matter with him?

Nothing.

What are you reading?

Well, you ain't going

to believe this

but I'm reading how some girl

said she was seduced by Dracula.

Boys...

today, we start shaking the son

of a b*tches off for good, hmm?

You know...

To me, they're like a...

a buzzing fly."

"To me, they're like

...a buzzing fly,

buzzing around your head

while you sit

and watch it for a while

without raising your hand,

against it... like this.

Si? Ah...

Go ahead,

you Baltimore fly.

Buzz me one more time

and I will snatch you

out of the air

and you will buzz me no more.

Diego...

Diego!

Forget it, huh?

This isn't so much

for George, anyhow

as, uh... certain other people

who can't control their feelings

toward their teammates.

Rule one:
No dissension.

- Baltimore...

- Baltimore...

...enough is enough.

I should've pulled

away from you by now

and now I think I will

simply pull myself together

and squash out

your miserable life.

Fly, you are done for.

Whack!

But only one thing is wrong.

I look down on my hand,

and I see no fly

and I ask myself,

"How could I have missed it

"when I already seen the whole

league around, east and west

and I know that I am the winner

if I work together?"

Diego, forget it, huh?

- Forget?

- Yeah.

What is "forget"?

Ah! "Forget"

is not to remember.

But, mister, it's too

quick not to remember.

She's just now...

boom... happened, no?

"Forget it" means "screw it."

Why did I lose

when I should have won?

Because the fly flew

through my fingers

and the reason that the fly flew

through my fingers was

because the fingers

did not work together.

The first finger's saying

to the second finger

"I don't like you because

you won't play cards with me"

and the second finger says

to the third finger

"You should hear

what finger number one

has been saying about you"

and the third finger says

to the fourth finger

"I don't agree

with the color of your skin"

and the fourth finger says

to the fifth finger

"Let's you and me cut finger

number three down, then

"and tell our goddamn wives

to do the same

and bring up our children

likewise."

Boys, boys! This is suicide.

Work together. Play together.

This way, when the World Series

time comes around

you'll be there!

You won't be home, watching it

on electrical television.

Look sharp

Dee, dee, dee, dee, dee

Feel sharp

Dee, dee, dee, dee, dee...

Dutch was right...

the whole club

gave me the creeps.

I was liable

to wake up some morning

not speaking to myself.

The ragging was even

getting to me.

Hey, Romeo, where's Juliet?

Romeo was a

great lover, Joe.

You jealous?

'Cause if you're jealous

I believe you can buy

these little pills

that give you back your

pep in bed you lost

when you were young like me.

Mind your tongue, boy.

Be careful

how you rag your elders.

Don't pull your rank on me.

Give is give and take is take.

How's your wife?

Nice of you to ask.

Ain't took my wife

to a ball game in 11 years.

Take her when we hit Chicago.

First laid eyes on my wife

in a ballpark.

Probably looked like you

back then, I...

I used to shave my face

every day.

Had high hopes...

making the big cash.

It's never too late

for an Arcturis Annuity.

It's much too late.

I'm too old.

No, no.

With your serious money

I could fiX you up

with a plan as a starter.

You know,

I been meaning to ask you...

but a guy my age hates

to ask a punk like you

for tips on things.

What do you own?

What do I own?

I own

two catcher's mitts

and a baseball autographed

by each and every member

of the New York Mammoths.

Put it all together

you got a fin

in any hock shop in Chicago.

What I own is debts.

Well, that's simple.

We'll declare bankruptcy.

That's something for a fellow

to look forward to.

How?

I'll show you, but you got

to do me one favor.

What's that?

You got to lay off Pearson.

I just joke around.

It's something

to keep up my spirits

that's all.

He's dying.

You mean soon, any day now?

Could happen

any time.

Does Dutch know?

No. You mustn't

tell him, either.

He'd cut him loose in a minute.

Only me and you know.

Only you

and me know...

only you and me

will ever know.

Arthur?

Arthur?

Arthur? Arthur?

Who is that?

Arthur, Arthur,

something's happening.

Something's happening to me.

Yeah?

Yeah? What's happening?

Where's Goose? I need help.

What for?

You know.

Well, what do I do?

You can talk, Horse knows.

He told me.

You weren't supposed

to mention it.

Only my roomie.

You got to go get this doctor,

Dr. Charleston P. Chambers.

Check.

I'm really sorry

to have woke you.

I was hoping it wouldn't happen

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