Bangistan Page #2

Two BigFacs, please. A few cups of the chutney.

I'm sick of waiting. Give me my coffee already!

Yes sir, I'll bring it right away.

Bhaijaan!

Thank you.

Two FcChickens!

We must convince Abba to keep all the meetings here now.

Yeah man, there's no point meeting at mosques.

Now show us the poster.

Such a bad quality print.

He is only fit to serve white people. Hello hello, tring tring!

He's lazy when it comes to serving the community.

No, Omar.

Enjoy your burger...

Harold!

Please call me Hafeez.

And I have quit that job.

You didn't quit Hafeez...

It was all Allah's will.

It is now time for you to join your brothers and...

Dedicate yourself to the good work of Al Kaam-Tamaam.

24/7.

Abba he is not fit to work for Al Kaam-Tamaam.

He couldn't even get a good quality print of the poster.

It's not his fault, Zulfi.

Those call center guys have brainwashed him by calling him 'Harold'.

This is pure American propaganda, my boys.

I ask, what have the Americans given the world?

Idiot! Regular again!?

Didn't I tell you I drink only Diet Cola!

The Americans are sneaky and deceitful.

They murdered our dear cousin Osama in cold blood.

This is our opportunity to take Al Kaam-Tamaam beyond Al Qaeda...

And replace cousin Osama!

What is the way forward?

Hey Guruji... Hey Guruji!

In life or death...

I seek refuge with him.

I'm off to meet him...

The one and only Guruji!

My heart beats only for him...

The one and only Guruji!

Hey Guru!

My humble greetings to you, Guruji!

This is a dream come true. What a party you have established...

Maa ka Dal.

I am merely the founder.

It is the workers who bring glory to the party.

You speak with the sincerity of angels!

6 September, 1992!

Were you there? What a speech! Building the nation! Uniting all Hindus!

Jasmines, Roses, Lilies, Tulips and Marigolds...

Many flowers, all united in one garland!

You heard me speak that day?

Not just 6 September! 27 February 2002. 8 April 2006, 29 December 2008...

I have attended all your speeches!

Your words are inspirational like heroic poetry!

Like pointed arrows that pierce the heart!

They ignite the audience's passions...

Inflame their souls... Spur them into action!

Your speeches always inspire me to beat up at least three or four enemies!

Guruji, we've found our man!

He can't handle this. He only beat up three or four enemies.

Guruji has picked this man himself!

Our party is under threat and this man will now save us.

Guruji... are we really in peril?

The Imam is ready to embrace the enemy.

He is laying our Muslim brothers' sacrifices to waste.

Instead, he intends to fly birds of peace!

Just say the word, Guruji. I will raise an army for you.

This battle calls for a conspiracy. Not an army.

But Abba, the Quran asks us to consider everyone brothers and...

We have considered them brothers so far, Hafeez...

But have they returned the sentiment?

So... How was the show yesterday, Praveen?

Great, Guruji!

How many people showed up?

You are meant for much greater things, Praveen Chaturvedi!

Maa ka Dal needs you today to come into power!

Fancy a trip abroad? Abroad?

Poland! There's a beautiful city there...

Krakow.

There, we must establish our might!

One of you must give up your life for this cause.

You must sacrifice yourself!

We must create havoc!

Al Kaam-Tamaam! Al Kaam-Tamaam!

Suicide...

Bomb.

Guruji... bomb!?

This will be your life's greatest and final performance!

Sacrifice is out of the question.

The door to heaven awaits and the key...

Will be presented to one of you.

In heaven, you will find...

Plates full of exotic sweets...

The golden sands of a majestic desert...

And one thousand and one enticing camels!

Fifty one Arab horses...

And seventy two beautiful virgins...

Untouched and full of grace!

Patience, my boy... Or I myself will reach heaven...

For this glorious mission I have chosen...

Me, Abbajaan, pick me!

Hafeez bin Ali!

At your service!

Jai Maa ka Dal! Jai Maa ka Dal!

I have picked Hafeez after careful consideration

He speaks English and talks to foreigners everyday...

And behold his beard! Longer than anyone else's.

Will the bomb be in his beard? I'll show you who's is longer, come here!

Idiot!

Hafeez will handle the job. Right, my son?

Yes, Abba.

Here, Hafeez...

The Brits compiled these about...

The lives of the enemy two hundred years ago.

Abba, if I'm not mistaken... Shouldn't we read the Quran at such a time?

This is known as 'taqiyya', my son...

Which means that in times of grave danger...

To defeat the enemy you must become him.

But at the conference you will blow up the bomb as a...

sincere Muslim.

I won't become an engineer, I won't become a dentist.

Mom I promise you I will become a terrorist.

Friends and brothers; I will kill everyone

I have the faith and a strong belief.

Revolution, revolution...

I will bring revolution on my last day.

Revolution, revolution...

I will bring revolution on my last day.

Stanza 16:
Love and kindness to all living beings...

2:
224: Peace and forgiveness to everyone...

I have just one aim. Complete mayhem.

Every terrorist is my role model.

Terrorists always win, history is witness.

I have the faith and a strong belief.

Revolution, revolution...

I will bring revolution on my last day.

Revolution, Revolution...

I will bring revolution on my last day.

Praveen, what is all this?

You have to spread our ideology... But you are losing your own identity!

Fooled you, didn't I Guruji? Mama Mareech!

Mama Mareech?

Haven't you read the Ramayana?

Mareech mama used such great makeup to...

Change into a deer and alter the course of the Ramayana!

Similarly, I will change myself and cheat the enemy...

This is known as method acting!

Even if I'm caught before the mission is complete...

No one will suspect you and Maa ka Dal will be safe.

Then, once the stage is coloured with blood...

Drop the curtains, dim the light bulbs...

I will have won my Academy Award.

Live long, my boy, live long!

I told you!

Dark days and black nights. That's all we'll see.

We will quell the enemy.

Rivers of blood will quench this infinite thirst.

I have the faith and a strong belief.

Revolution, revolution...

I will bring revolution on my last day.

Revolution, Revolution...

I will bring revolution on my last day.

Revolution, revolution...

I will bring revolution on my last day.

Revolution, Revolution...

I will bring revolution on my last day.

Aren't you done yet?

A deep voice and good height don't make every man Amitabh Bachchan.

You don't need any talent to play the monkey in local fairs.

Calm down, you are always yelling at the poor boy.

Why shouldn't I? He's going abroad and informed us only yesterday...

Might as well have told us from there.

And in any case, this home is only a motel to him.

Uncle, please bring back these things for me...

Yes, my dear.

Thank you, Uncle!

Yes yes, alright...

Come back soon, son.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes