Barbershop: The Next Cut Page #2

You want me to sweep

before I go?

-No, man.

-You sure?

No. No, go on

ahead to school.

-You sure, man?

-Yeah, man, positive.

-Here you go.

-Man, I appreciate that for sure.

I appreciate it, too.

-I'm gonna see you again next week.

-Okay.

Take care, Angie.

You be careful out there.

-Bye, Anthony.

-All right, y'all.

All right, man. Thanks!

All right, Chris Beige.

Now, don't get robbed.

You a trip.

Rashad,

your son's here!

Hey, what up,

everybody? Hey, Angie.

There you go,

double-trouble.

What's up, Eddie?

Good.

Hey, what's up, Dad?

How's everything?

Pretty good. Shouldn't you

two be at school by now?

Yeah, we on our way.

I just stopped by because

I need to borrow $20.

Dad, come on, I need it.

Angie, you got 20 bucks?

Yeah, I got 20.

Yo, Rashad,

you got a dub on you?

Yes, sir. What up, son?

Does everybody in here

that's working...

What up, Dad? -got at least

$20 in their pocket or purse?

Yeah, I do.

Indeed, I do.

I had $20,

but I got robbed.

That was serious,

I ain't make that up.

That b*tch was swole.

Not now, Dante. Not now.

Do you know what all these

people got in common?

They old?

Hold on now.

Hey!

Hey, Dad!

You know,

you ain't too grown

to get your butt whooped.

Cal, you want me to take

care of this for you?

-No, I got this.

-Okay.

Relax, Adrian Peterson.

It's 2016, not 1816.

You can't pull kids pants down and spank

their bottoms until it turns red.

It's illegal

and a little creepy.

Ain't nobody talking about that

Catholic school you went to.

Do I look like Father Flanagan?

When I was growing up,

ass whippings were like meals,

and I was well-fed.

Hey, Kenny.

So, can we maybe

get back to the $20?

Whatever happened to you

coming around

after school every now

and then and helping out?

Dad, come on. You know I'm busy

with homework and basketball.

We've been busy with work.

It's a simple equation, son.

You don't work,

you don't get paid. Okay?

This ain't The Oprah Show. You don't

just show up and get free gifts.

Aight.

And I better not find out that

you're late to that school.

Told you, man.

Hey, Kenny.

I seen that.

Put it back.

I saw you, Kenny.

Those candy bars are a dollar

apiece, if you want one.

I'm not playing.

If not, I'm assume you took 50 and I'm

taking it out your pop's paycheck.

And he don't

make that much.

Not to put your business out

there, but Terri does make more.

Put it back.

Busted!

Everybody, check your wallets.

He got sticky fingers.

-Y'all have a blessed day.

-Shut up!

"Have a blessed day"?

He said, "Have a blessed day."

I mean, why your dad's

gotta be so stingy?

Thinking he teaching lessons

and dropping knowledge.

That sh*t is annoying.

For real, bro.

Him and your dad,

always talkin' out

the sides of their face.

Talking about

how they repping 79th,

all that nonsense, South

Side, all that stupid sh*t.

Stupid sh*t.

What's up, G?

What size is them Jordans?

They my size. That's

what size they are.

You think

you got heart?

Well, guess what, little n*gger.

Hearts ain't bulletproof.

Hey, why don't y'all

just keep moving?

Y'all out of your

neighborhood anyway.

N*gger, what you

talking about?

Y'all know our crew

run this whole neighborhood.

We run this whole sh*t.

Hey, yo, shorty,

run them kicks.

Man, y'all niggas

ain't sh*t.

Yeah, I said it.

Nigga, this our block.

You know that.

Unless you really

wanna do it.

We out.

All right.

Yeah, I thought so.

Yeah, keep it pushing.

Get out of here, man.

B*tch-ass nigga.

Yo, thanks, Yummy.

Ain't nothing.

What's up, J?

Heard you balled out

this season.

Hey, you know,

trying to do my thing.

Man, coach already

talking about

bumpin' him up

to varsity next year.

Word? That's good, man.

Keep putting in work.

You know, that's how you

get to the big leagues,

like D-Rose and D-Wade.

Y'all need anything though?

Y'all straight?

We cool.

I got somethin'

for y'all, man.

I know how it be, being

a little homie. You know?

I know y'all cool,

be cooler.

Ben Frank style.

Gotta keep the little homies

fresh, you feel me?

Yo, thanks, Yummy.

Y'all gonna be family

soon anyway, right?

-Fo' sho?

-Yeah.

There's a lot more

where that came from.

So get used to it.

All right, Yummy.

I'll holler at you, J.

All right.

Yo!

Girl, keep the change.

You like it?

Damn, I see you getting

that chop over there, girl.

Yes, I am.

How much you charge

for them weaves?

Well, it depends. 'Cause

if you wanna be basic ass

No, No, No

Destiny's Child Beyonce,

that's gonna cost

you, like, $200.

If you wanna be like,

you know, Cater 2 U Beyonce,

that's gonna cost

you, like, $600.

And if you wanna be

Beyonce featuring Jay Z...

Boom, boom.

That's gonna cost

you, like, a stack.

I can't believe y'all spend all

that money on weaves anyway.

Next thing you know,

you gonna be just

high-jacking and robbing

Puerto Ricans for their hair.

Eddie, the only hair getting

stolen around here is Indian hair.

It's lush, it's beautiful, and it's infused

with coconut oil right out the womb, okay?

That's why

all y'all want it.

Man, I can't believe y'all put

all that money on your heads,

and then don't be having

no money for your rent.

Excuse you, this is

how I pay my rent.

Exactly.

'Cause with this hair

and this booty,

it's like walking around

with a black AmEx.

And I never get denied.

I bet you don't.

Y'all in here complaining

about our weaves,

but y'all negroes

know good and well

that you'd drop-kick Lupita

to get to Kim Kardashian.

Even the non-negroes.

Especially the non...

Can I say negroes?

Carefully, very carefully.

Say it slow so we can

hear all the syllables.

Just be remorseful

when you say it.

Cool. Negroes.

As the only non-negro

in the room, I'd like to say,

Lupita's got a Dark Caesar,

and it's one of my

most requested cuts.

Lupita?

Man, don't nobody want no

bald head chick in real life.

Even Kanye got rid of Amber

for Kim's sexy ass.

Every day, y'all

here complaining

about fake weaves

and fake asses,

but all the girls that you like

on Instagram have exactly that.

Fake weaves

and fake asses.

-No offense, Draya.

-None taken, girl.

We winning and y'all ain't.

I mean, but that's what dudes

want, they want that fantasy.

Yeah, a fantasy that you still

expect us real women to live up to.

What? Men are visual,

all right? What's the problem?

And women aren't?

I mean, you don't think we want some

nice, thick, sexy lips to suck on,

and some nice big

broad shoulders,

and a dick print that you can see

from here to the Sears Tower?

Preach.

Hey, hey, hey!

Hey! The language!

Watch your mouth in here.

Draya, get your girl.

Sorry, Mr. Cal.

You know what the whole problem

with your generation is?

You don't know

how to do nothing,

need to learn a skill.

Learn how to mop a floor.

You know what

I'm saying? Iron.

Your phone die, you wouldn't

know how to spell a sentence.

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