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Barbershop: The Next Cut Page #5
in the neighborhood.
So they're just gonna
build a jail around us?
Do you know what cuttin' off these
streets is gonna do to traffic?
You're right.
But it might also decrease
violence in the neighborhood,
which would make
this shop more desirable.
That ain't gonna help us.
We'll just be a
nonviolent empty shop.
Exactly. And half the businesses on
this block are barely above water.
Exactly.
Look, y'all. I know it's not
the most ideal solution.
But you gotta acknowledge that at
least we're trying to do something.
-No.
-Yeah. No.
Hell no.
Look, y'all, I share
the same concerns,
but something's gotta
be done out here.
Do you know how many people get shot
on this block, every single week?
Do you?
'Cause we out here
while you downtown talkin'
about the South Side,
look like some Middle Eastern,
war-torn country in your $1,000 suit.
You know damn well them
suits ain't $1,000, boyba.
Look, Rashad, we want
the same thing, man.
But the Council, they're all out
of ideas just like everybody else.
That's right.
Put it on us.
That's what
politicians do though.
You know, they don't
do their job...
All I'm doing
is workin', brother.
But then
they want us to do it.
And then you say
it's our fault, right?
Like, we the ones
that don't wanna work.
Exactly.
I told you.
I mentioned this
a long time ago.
Government ain't good for nothing but
giving you syphilis and flu shots.
I'm almost sure
that's how I got syphilis.
That is not
how you got syphilis.
Her name was Josephine.
Would you stop
tellin' everybody's business!
That's funny.
My mom's name is Josephine.
Wait. What...
You know, maybe that's part
of the problem. I mean...
Maybe we need to stop
waiting for the government
to step in and save us and we
need to start saving ourselves.
I mean, this is America.
Everybody has equal
opportunity to make it here.
Really?
-What?
-Okay.
Man...
All right. Baba ghanoush
over here lost his damn mind.
Eddie, that's bullshit.
You wanna know
why I'm sarcastic?
Because every time
I open my mouth
to say something real,
you gotta make fun of me.
Meanwhile, if I say you're a
watermelon-flavored fried chicken lover,
I'm a racist.
Hell nah.
You'll get your ass beat.
Rashad, it was hypothetical.
There's no such thing as
watermelon-flavored fried chicken.
Not yet, Raja.
That would be
stereotypically delicious.
All I'm saying is, my parents moved
here from India with nothing.
They had no money,
no friends.
And their accents
were so thick,
they couldn't even
get bank accounts.
And somehow
they made it happen.
Not to dismiss your
argument here, Raja,
because it is...
It is riveting.
However, there were some
"setbacks" that black people faced
that really made things
stressful for a minute there.
Slavery being at the
very top of that list.
Exactly. Your ancestors
were immigrants.
Ours were imports.
Big difference.
Not really.
How do you think the
West Indies happened, okay?
They took Indians, they took
black people from Africa,
they put 'em
in the Caribbean,
and 200 years later, Rihanna
happened. You're welcome.
I don't like white
people either. Okay?
I'm just saying,
maybe y'all should stop
making excuses and
actually pick up the ball.
"Pick up the ball"?
-Basketball reference.
-That was racist, right there.
"Pick up the ball"?
Yes.
It got real Fox News-y
in here for me.
Well, you know,
we do be shootin' some hoop.
What are you
talkin' about, man?
You think it's a level
playing field out here?
You think racism
don't exist no more?
The President of the United
States of America is black.
The most powerful man
on the planet is black.
Just one man.
Meanwhile, only dude I have to look up
to is the guy from Big Bang Theory.
He funny.
He make me laugh.
So what does that mean for the average
black dude walking down the street?
Does our president's
blackness,
did it stop Trayvon
Martin, or Michael Brown,
or Walter Scott,
or Tamir Rice,
or Freddie Gray
from being killed?
Hell nah.
a Charleston church
and killed nine
innocent people.
Did his blackness
stop that?
Eric Garner got killed on tape
and it still didn't matter.
So what are you
saying, Raja?
I'm not sayin' that stuff isn't
messed up. Because it is.
What I'm saying is,
there's never been
a better time
in this country to be a black
person than right now.
Unless you Bill Cosby.
I'm not doin'
this school work.
If she thinks I'm really about
to do this homework tonight...
She gave us
six packets.
Six packets.
Man, she must be insane.
Yo, there go those
dudes from this morning.
I used to cut
Barack's hair back in the day.
Hell, I'm the one who told
him to marry Michelle.
He liked some
other little girl.
He was gonna tell her...
Thelma Carter.
With the big tongue.
Couldn't say his name.
She used to call him "Barath".
Michelle, now,
that's different.
She got them
childbearing hips.
And she can iron a shirt.
You see them arms
right there?
You never touched
a hair on that man's head.
-Not one.
-Are you serious?
Hold on. Okay.
All right. Okay.
Who do you think that is? It's
him before his hair turned gray.
That could
be anybody.
Man, you can't tell
who that is, man.
You can tell by the ear.
You cannot.
You can't see sh*t.
You're stupid.
You know what?
Forget y'all.
Laugh all you want to.
Y'all better just
leave Barack alone.
He's one of ours.
He used to be
one of ours.
I mean, when was the last time you
seen Barack Obama do something for us?
And I'm not talkin'
about for the country.
I'm talkin' about for us.
Eddie, even if you
don't agree,
what she's sayin', though.
Thank you, Rashad.
You know, I can't take
this anymore, man. I'm out.
All right.
-Thanks a lot, man.
-Thank you, man.
And you need to read
a newspaper.
Obama makes sure you get all that
birth control that you need.
Excuse me?
And the rest of y'all, Council
vote next week. Don't forget.
Look, I can't let y'all tear the
President down like that. All right.
The man is in an impossible
situation. Know what I'm sayin'?
-How are you?
-How you doin'?
He's not just the president
of black America.
He's the President of
And personally, I think
he's doin' a great job.
You know what? The two of them just make
me believe in the sanctity of marriage.
I hate to be
the one to say this...
But Barack has
definitely got b*tches.
Yeah, he does.
No, he has not.
Half these hoes weren't even registered
to vote before he ran for president.
Give me a break!
Every vote... Ass. Ass, ass,
ass. That's what it is.
You know what?
I hate to agree with Dante,
'cause,
it's just a bad look.
But every president
has a side chick.
It's constitutional.
You know, Thomas Jefferson had a
whole plantation of side chicks.
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"Barbershop: The Next Cut" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 1 Sep. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/barbershop:_the_next_cut_3592>.
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