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Barbershop: The Next Cut Page #4
sitting around here all day,
like it's an
unemployment office.
Hey, Eddie, man, look. I pay booth
rent like everybody else does in here.
Besides,
barbers don't provide the full
menu of services that I do.
Off-market
medicinal remedies,
alternative documentation,
little emotional
service doggies
that lick your face and make
you feel good about yourself.
And they
tinkle all over your shirt.
They so happy to see you. And
it makes you feel good inside.
I've been around
a long time here, son.
And what all you do
is sell fake ID,
nickel bags of weed,
and pit bull puppies.
gonna lick on somebody's face.
It sounds
too freaky for me.
I don't want no puppy
licking on me.
It's just not at all
African-American.
Sounds very,
very Caucasian.
Calvin, you really gonna
let him be up in the shop?
Like, I can't believe
he let you up in here.
Calvin, my man.
You're my man, right?
Please tell this man,
this ancient being,
this old fogey,
this dinosaur
of some sorts.
Keep them coming.
This negro-saurus of a man
the damn trailer
to Jurassic Park,
every time we
walk up in here.
Okay, that was a good
one right there.
Please tell this 50 Shades
of Grey... looking ass,
am I or am I not
a intricate part of
this damn shop?
He got a point, Eddie.
He got...
You know what?
That's it for me.
Hey. But this
ain't no free clinic.
I understand. And I did stop doing
the VD screenings last week.
It's done, okay?
It's over.
What can I do
for you, brotha?
I got a itch
down there.
It's a itch that burns.
Come over here.
This the last one.
This boy burning bad,
I smell it. Come on.
Hey, everybody!
Hey, girl.
Rashad, I got your
sheen spray for you.
Appreciate that.
Angie, this conditioner should
last you for the next two weeks.
Thank you, baby!
Can you help me put
these away in the back?
Hey, who's winning over
here, now? What's goin' on?
By a show of hands,
who got a itch?
Who got a burn?
Damn.
So did you hear,
Mr. Harris got shot?
What?
Are you serious?
Is he okay?
I mean, he got shot,
so he's not great.
But he's gonna make it.
No.
I was just in there last
week talking to his wife.
Man. She was so excited they
was getting a second location.
Was she with him?
No, thank God.
You know, he was in there by
himself closing up for the night.
Wouldn't open up the
register, so they shot him.
I don't know what's
happening out there, Calvin.
These kids have lost
their damn minds.
Meanwhile, we gotta
raise Jalen in this mess.
It's not cool.
We gotta revisit
that conversation.
What conversation?
About moving the shop.
You know, One-Stop found some cool
locations over there on the north side.
Does One-Stop even know
what escrow means?
You'd be surprised
what One-Stop know.
And have you discussed
it with Angie?
You can't make a
decision about the shop
without at least
talking to her first.
I wanted to talk to you first because
you know what you're gonna tell me?
"Why
did you talk to her first?"
I do not sound
like that.
I don't know, Calvin.
Uprooting the shop
is a big decision.
You don't think
I know that?
But what else
we supposed to do?
Just sit here and wait
for somethin' to happen?
We gotta explore
all of our options.
Yeah.
I ain't got no money.
Let me talk to you.
No, I'm good.
Come on, baby.
Let's holler at you
for a little bit.
You hollerin'
right now,
I can hear you. I'm good.
Yo, who that?
Hey, what up, J.D.?
Hey!
Hey, I got that tater
salad for your mama!
Come get it!
All right.
What's going on,
hungry black folks?
Who wants some
non-profit Gangsta Grub?
All right. Soul food
to save fools' souls.
Every delicious
piece of beef
helps keep a bullet
off the street.
I know that's right because
that "Who Smoked Your Okra"
was poppin' on
fleek last time.
There you go, Draya.
Did she just say "fleek"?
Don't... Don't just
make up words.
There's a whole
dictionary full of words.
There's a library
down the street.
Webster's Dictionary. Go
You won't see "fleek"
in there, nowhere.
Draya, don't worry
about that. I got some
"Don't Be So Mean" greens
in there for you today, too.
You gonna love it.
Thank you, boo-boo.
They so good,
they're gonna make
a Vice Lord give
a GD a foot massage.
Nigga!
You are like the Al
Sharpton of the fat back.
Okay. Okay.
When are you gonna get
your own show on VH1?
Who knows, man?
You know, right now,
pillar of the community,
trying to do something good.
I mean, so, you
want us to believe
that you cooked
all that food yourself?
made up of ex-gangbangers,
who, if they didn't
have this job,
would be on the
street bangin'.
And you donating
all the profit?
What's so hard
What is it, Eddie?
What is it?
Rashad, you might have
to shut your mouth.
This pie got me
dancing a jig over here.
Don't be no sucker, Eddie.
What's that, Rashad?
I got the little peanut
butter and poverty sandwich.
Did Terri cut the edges
off the bread
like she does
for the baby, too?
Yo, J.D., man. This
is on the up and up.
-I'm proud of you, bro.
-Thanks, Calvin.
-But the name...
-What?
I'm a little concerned, man. The name
seems like you're promoting something.
Man, I'm just
promoting food.
Remember the words of Maya
Angelou, man. "Words is power."
Maya Ange-who?
I know who you're
talking about.
That big booty b*tch
we went to high school with,
with the lopsided
titties, I remember.
Calvin, come on, man.
You know I'm just joking, man.
You know I know
who Maya Angelou is.
"Still I rise."
I Know Why
the Caged Bird Sings.
Who is this on the cover?
It looks like Mike Tyson.
Gonna be
a double-breasted suit.
Can't win for losing.
Well, there he goes!
Harold Washington, Junior.
-What up, Jimmy?
-What's up, man?
-You're lookin' good.
-Good to see you.
You know, you're the only
one that comes in here
with a suit on that
ain't goin' to court.
Everybody ain't tryin' to wear one
of them granny sofa suits you got.
-Guess who's back?
-Hey, Jimmy.
What up, bro?
What bring
you around here?
I know you didn't come all the
way over here to the South Side
just for a line up.
Yeah. Where's your
camera crew, Jimmy?
for the mayor's office?
What, a man can't check out his old
stomping grounds on his lunch break?
-Hell, nah.
-No.
No.
Hell no.
All right, you got me.
I do want to talk to you all about this
Council vote that's coming up next week.
What vote?
The one about the enclosure.
-Closure?
-What enclosure?
What kind of enclosure?
The city plans to
gate off 20 blocks,
with this shop essentially
right in the middle of it.
See, the idea is that
if it can control traffic,
you know, one way
in, one way out,
it'll help decrease violence
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"Barbershop: The Next Cut" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 1 Sep. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/barbershop:_the_next_cut_3592>.
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