Barnyard Page #4

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I hear music over there again.

Do you hear music?

That farmer's out of control.

We should call someone.

We should call someone.

- I smell buttermilk.

- Shut up! Shut up!

- What's that smell?

- Stop it! Stop it!

Randall, there is a cow outside.

This is a cow farm.

You're gonna find cows outside.

No, I mean right outside.

Right outside this house,

looming like a ghost. Like a reaper.

No, cows don't like houses much.

They prefer it out in the meadow,

where they can get a graze on.

Nathan Randall the Third,

I am not crazy.

I am medicated

for a chemical imbalance.

Don't you sit there

and think that I am crazy.

Your mind's gone, woman.

Where'd it go? I don't know.

It's gone.

- Oh geez, you're on my foot again.

- Sorry.

This is so sweet.

This is so wicked sweet.

I love the new you, Otis.

Okay, lgg,

you remember how to do this?

- Oh, he remembers.

- I remember.

- Yeah, he remembers.

- He's remembering.

Right now.

Well, pinch me, I'm dreaming.

Here is a first.

Otis joining us on a joyride.

- That's the animal sin of sins, huh?

- "Sin of sins," I like that.

Hey, old Bud. Bud, you bring the stuff?

It's right here.

- Show it. Show it.

- It's right here.

- Show it.

- It's right here.

- Show it.

- It's right there.

We're rebels! We're rebels!

We're the wildest!

There they are.

- Too bad we can't go in there.

- Yeah.

Breaks my heart.

Now remember, honey, I told you,

we can't be staying out this late

on a school night.

"We can't be staying out late."

Whatever. I'll do what I want.

Do what I want, when I want,

'cause I want to do it.

You've come to the wrong place.

- What is that?

- I'm lactose intolerant.

- Oh, man.

- Here we go. I know.

- One, two...

- Yeah.

Two, yeah.

Moo!

That's called boytipping!

- Let's get out of here!

- Come on, move it!

Let me out!

Okay, go!

Never go to meadows.

Never go to meadows.

Never go to meadows.

Never go to meadows.

Treat cows nicely.

Okay, no more Red Bull.

Put crowns on our heads,

'cause we are the kings!

Did you see his face?

- Price...

- Less.

- Price...

- Less.

- Pr...

- Ice...

Less.

A toast! To a new world order.

We are calling the shots now!

- Yeah, it's all about us now.

- You've got that right, Otis.

Nothing can touch us.

Oh, man! Oh, man!

- Oh, man!

- Man, oh, man!

Let me out! You gotta let me out!

Pull over to the side of the road.

Oh, no, they're talking to us now.

Pull over! You gotta pull over!

We can't pull over!

Hang on!

What could be worse than this?

What we got here

is probably some teenagers

going out for a joyride

in their mom's car.

Yeah, we'll shake them up a bit,

send them home. You know kids.

Nothing a little strip search

won't cure, yeah.

Is this thing still on?

Is that a camera?

- This is it. Goodbye.

- They're taping Cops.

Mommy! Mooo-mmy!

Hey, relax. We can lose them.

I mean, it's just a car, right?

It's a chopper! It's a chopper!

We're gonna die!

We interrupt this program with

a breaking news story. Police are in...

Would you look at that?

The world is going crazy.

These kids get all hopped up on

Diet Coke and Jolly Ranchers and just...

That's our car!

That was a hoof.

There's a cow in our car! That is a hoof!

Yes, this is Nora Beady.

What do you mean, "What now?"

My car is on TV,

and I think there's a cow in it.

And I saw a cow outside my window.

I think they may be linked.

Don't think I can't call again, Gary.

Oh, that's nice. Good.

They're gonna catch us

and they're gonna dissect us.

We are ditching out!

Two all-beef patties, that's our future!

Out! Run!

- Run!

- Stop touching me!

They're making a run for it. Let's go.

Come on.

This is Gray Badger in Chopper 219.

We've got suspects in sight.

I'm chafing!

Okay. Hurry up, fellows.

They're right over there.

Oh, milk me!

Okay, here we go! Here we go!

Milk me!

Geez, these guys are big.

I see them over there.

Cut it right!

We got them!

Could you guys believe that?

Did you guys see me?

Me, I am fearless, baby.

- Oh, yeah, fear...

- Less.

I think I rolled over my foot.

We left it the same way we found it.

Okay, toodle-oo, Otis.

Same time tomorrow night?

Hey, guys, can you imagine

Ben doing something like that?

- No way. No way.

- We'd be in trouble.

- Trou...

- Ble.

Okay, explain to me exactly

why are we doing this?

Because it's what my dad would do.

Why don't you just go have fun,

all right? I can do this.

No way. We're homeboys.

I'm here with you.

Really, it's all right.

Okay, I tried! Later, dude.

I'll bring you back a drink or something.

Be back.

Come on back, I'm right here.

Mind if I join you?

No. I mean, sure. I no mind you...

Geez, I can't even talk to you!

Hang on a second.

Here. You know, just let me...

No, I can still sit on my own, I think.

Oh, my gosh!

Oh, my gosh, the baby's coming!

What?

I made you jump.

Nice. Nice. Thank you.

I about swallowed my cud.

- It's beautiful, isn't it?

- My cud?

- The night.

- Yeah, that, too. Yeah, it's nice.

My dad had a thing about stars.

- Tell me, what was he like?

- My pop?

He was amazing.

Bigger than life, you know?

Funny, we're not even related.

He found me and he took me in.

I never thought about it before,

but everything he did was for me.

He's the only family I've ever known.

The last time we talked,

he told me that the night he found me

he looked up into the sky

and he said that the stars...

God, I miss him.

What about you?

I mean, if that's too personal, you know.

If I'm overstepping like a boundary or...

You know what? Too bad. Cough it up.

Okay.

Well, where do I start?

I was married, and life was good.

Yeah. It seems like

forever ago now, but...

One day, a bad storm rolled in.

Bessy and I were in the meadow

and we found a place on high ground.

But when we went home,

well, everyone was gone.

You know what I think?

I think some good things are gonna

start happening to you and me.

What, do you wanna be a hero, cow?

Hey, you're Ben's kid.

Otis, right?

So they left you in charge?

Oh, that's precious.

You thought you could fill his shoes?

Otis, where were you?

Were you off having fun?

Laughing with your barnyard buddies?

Yeah, you could have made a difference

had you been there for him,

but you weren't. Were you?

Okay, from here on out,

this is the way it's gonna work.

We show up, you look the other way.

A few animals missing here and there.

Hey, it's the natural order of things.

It'll be our little secret.

Oh, and Ben's kid,

if you should think about getting

a sudden burst of courage,

we slaughter every animal in sight.

Now, you go back,

make everyone feel all safe,

and we'll be seeing you tomorrow night.

That's a date.

See you around.

"Round." You're fat.

Hey, Pop.

I wanted to come by and...

Look, you were just a great dad.

You see, I...

I don't know what I was thinking,

but, for a minute, I actually thought

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