Barnyard Page #3

Synopsis: When the farmer's away, all the animals play, and sing, and dance. Eventually, though, someone has to step in and run things, a responsibility that ends up going to Otis, a carefree cow.
Director(s): Steve Oedekerk
Production: Paramount Pictures
  3 nominations.
 
IMDB:
5.6
Metacritic:
42
Rotten Tomatoes:
22%
PG
Year:
2006
90 min
$72,601,713
Website
6,471 Views


You won't be taking any hens tonight.

And you're gonna stop us?

Is that what's gonna happen?

Are you gonna stop us, hen?

How are you gonna do that?

No, he is.

Ben. How are you, Ben?

We would've said hello,

had we seen you.

Put the hen down, Dag.

Sure, Ben. Whatever you say.

We're just doing a little courting,

that's all.

You know how much we like the hens.

You know me, ladykiller.

You have us

at a bit of a disadvantage here, Ben.

There's six of us,

and only one old, fat you.

Oh, baby! Party time!

Otis!

Otis!

Otis! Otis!

It's Ben.

Oh, no. No, no.

Yeah. You hang on there, buddy.

All right now, Otis. Just lift.

Ten and two. Ten and two.

Not like that. Now lift, and two.

You dog!

Come here, fisherman.

What do we do now? Who's gonna

protect us from the coyotes?

Anybody got a pistol?

Order, here! Hey, am I bothering you?

Let's get this meeting started.

- Duke, who's gonna run the meeting?

- That's what the meeting's about.

The meeting's about

finding someone to run the meeting?

Is that a good idea?

We should take a meeting about it.

Someone has to do this.

We don't have Ben.

Therefore, I would like

to nominate myself.

Dogs are... Listen to me.

Dogs are watchful,

they're loyal, and very protective.

And they lick themselves.

I don't want a leader who licks himself.

- Me, neither.

- That's nasty.

I can't even reach mine.

I don't do that.

Anymore.

One time, I was bored,

lonely, and a little snackish.

Yeah, I saw you drink

out of a toilet once.

- Hey, you drink potty water.

- You drink potty water!

My bowl was empty, my friend.

Come on, we're getting off track here.

Duke, with all respect,

I think there are certain traits

that would make you unqualified

to be leader.

Yeah, such as?

Your point?

Hey, come on, I do that for fun,

not 'cause I have to. Go on!

So, big deal. I fetch balls.

One little flaw.

This doesn't mean anything.

All right, all right, let's take a vote.

Come on, let's take a vote here.

All those in favor

of me being the new leader.

Those opposed?

- Can you see my hand?

- Listen now, listen up.

You all know that Ben always

intended for Otis to take his place.

All right, Otis is in charge.

I second that motion. Sweet!

Here we go.

Try and catch me.

Stay in line.

Maddie, we don't want to lose you.

Oh, I think that would be just fine.

Oaty-oaty! Hey, Oaty!

Hey, Maddie, now really isn't a good...

What are you doing?

Would you stop? Come on.

Hey, hey, hey, guys, guys...

- Oh, goodness gracious.

- What is it? What is it?

Otis, it's a madhouse! Isn't it just great?

You got hit with a soccer ball.

I thought I'd be the first

to congratulate you, Otis.

- You're in charge now.

- I'm what?

Miles, I am not in charge, okay?

I don't do "In charge".

- This is not my responsibility.

- I hear you.

But you were elected fair and square.

Congratulations, boss.

Hey!

Have you all lost your mind?

It's daylight.

The Farmer's gonna be back.

This is so off limits.

Come on, Otis,

I know your weak spot.

Wild Mike!

- What?

- Wild Mike.

Wild Mike. Wild Mike.

- Wild Mike.

- I'm not doing this, okay?

- There's no way this is happening.

- Wild Mike. Wild Mike.

- Everybody just get back to your...

- Wild Mike. Wild Mike.

- Return to your designated quadrants.

- Wild Mike. Wild Mike.

Wild Mike! Wild Mike!

- This is ridiculous!

- Wild Mike!

I'm not gonna dance

just because you're getting Wild Mike.

- Pip, help me out here.

- Wild Mike. Wild Mike.

You can't fight it, Otis.

You're a born party animal.

Wild Mike! Wild Mike! Wild Mike!

Wild Mike! Wild Mike! Wild Mike!

Let's boogie!

We're heading for the West

Not heading for the East

We're gonna live our dream

'Cause we're wild and free

Look at that freaky thing.

What kind of animal is that?

I don't know, but he sure can dance.

I say, let's kill it.

Give me that piece of wood over there.

Sweet legs! Get the sweet legs!

I got the sweet legs!

Moo?

What did you do that for?

What else was I gonna do? He saw you.

You could have killed him!

I got a pulse.

Oh, this is bad. This is bad.

This is so bad.

Baaad.

Everybody, just calm down.

Just calm down, all right?

What are we gonna do?

What are we gonna do?

What?

Come on. You're our leader. Lead us.

That does not apply to this.

This is a totally, situationally

different suspect.

Hey, whoa, no.

- We gotta ditch the body.

- Stop it!

He knows too much.

We gotta take care of him.

- We gotta whack him.

- There will be no whacking, okay?

The Farmer's a good guy.

He's been good to us.

He's a vegan, God bless him.

And what is a vegan, again?

I know this one.

No, I got it. It means

you can't eat anything with a face.

No, no, no, that's a vegetarian.

Vegetarians have to eat

in the dark, right?

That's a vampire. Come on.

You can't eat cheese?

It's not just cheese.

Vegans can't have any dairy products.

- Cake?

- Cake has egg products.

But you can't have any dairy.

No dairy? I love dairy.

Does that mean I can't be a vegan?

I love the smell of bacon.

There, I said it.

Would you not do that?

It's not like we have a lot of options.

Boy, that's a doozy.

That thing's bigger than me.

Push it.

- He wakes up, you got my back, right?

- Yeah.

Come on. Come on.

Okay, watch this. Off his nose,

on the belly, on the floor. Check it.

Book.

Okay, now.

He was sitting here, he was reading.

- Something fell on his head, and...

- I got it.

Too light.

Couldn't cause a bump like that.

I bet it could.

Would you cut it out?

We need something bigger.

Can I have the apple?

What's with the look?

He's buying it.

He's not buying it.

He's buying it.

He's not buying it.

No, he's buying it.

Will you stop doing that?

Well, unless you get him a blindfold,

I'm going to kick him!

Okay, let's go.

There. See? Good as new.

I'll tell you,

this being in charge thing isn't so tough.

You know what I'm talking about?

You know what I'm talking about. Yeah.

Yeah, hi. Hey, there.

Having a good day? Yeah.

So, this was Otis's idea?

Oh, yeah.

We're like the second line of defense.

We see or hear anything suspicious,

and I just signal Otis with a crow.

And I've really been

working on it. Listen.

Well, you know, in the moment,

it'll be really strong.

But for now, we just stand watch.

Yeah, watch.

Come and get it!

Freddy, you okay?

Boneless white meat!

What? I'm not hungry!

I mean, I don't wanna eat anyone...

Thing... You...

What happened? What? What? What?

Okay, quick little once

around the barnyard, then, hello, party!

Hey, look at this.

It's our new inside connection.

Congrats, Otis.

Oh, will you look at that?

Don't wake up the cow.

That's called cowtipping.

Oh, that so steams me!

Man, I wish I could get

a hold of that little... I would...

Hey, I'm in charge, right?

Oh, we are so talking.

Are we not talking?

- Talking the talk and walking the walk.

- Walkie-talkie, huh?

Let's go.

Then I said, "That's called cowtipping."

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote

Steve Oedekerk

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Barnyard" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 21 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/barnyard_3623>.

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