Basmati Blues Page #6

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That's terrible.

[birds calling]

Up, up, up!

I think I finally

caught Linda's eye.

Any girl can see you're

the world's most lovable boy.

Your father would have

wanted you to have this.

He'd be so proud.

It's in Ma's jewelry box.

The song Dad wrote for her.

The song you should sing

for Linda.

[laughs]

Ah!

I'm gonna tell her about the

secret rice weighing contest.

I'm gonna beg her forgiveness,

and I'll sing her this song.

Skip the begging

and just sing the song.

Trust me.

[chuckles]

[man] It is possible that

Linda's rice will win.

- Win what?

- Oh!

Why do those bags say

"Rajit" and "Linda"?

[clears throat]

Did you harvest

my Rice Nine paddy?

[all mutter]

[Linda]

Is that hedysarum geranus?

That is stinkweed.

[song in foreign language plays]

[cell phone rings]

- HeHo?

-[Watt] Linda? Hello.

Dad, hi.

I'm flying out there

for the big day.

- No, Dad--

- Yes?

You don't have to come out here.

I know, but Gurgon said...

or did something.

[song in foreign language plays]

I want to be there.

I'm so proud of you.

I SEE.

Well, that's...

that's great, Dad.

- Um... bye.

- Good-bye?

[grunts]

[grunts angrily]

Oh!

[groans]

-[Linda] Stinkweed!

- Linda...

Diwali. Lousy stars?

Violence is not the answer.

It depends on the question.

- These are for you. -[grunts]

I was going to tell you, but

then I got afraid, and then...

it became too late!

All those sleepless nights

because you're a lying jerk!

[groans]

[man 1] Dr. Linda, hi!

[William] Linda. Linda!

Look. I told you they'd all sign

after Diwali.

[man 2] Dr. Linda, you won!

[William] Farmers are signing

all over the country.

93 contracts

in our office alone.

Good stuff, Dr. Linda.

You weighed in great.

Yes. Rice Nine is the best.

Sorry, Raj. Cheer up.

You'll find another way

back to college.

Linda!

I've got champagne.

Come on up. Let's toast.

Linda! Linda.

[Rajit] You're a really

fast runner.

Did you like the flowers?

I did. How did you grow

the stinkweed?

Hey, how about we talk about

something not serious

-for 30 seconds, okay? Please.

-[laughs]

It's funny, I know India

is this huge country

but to me it's just...

the train.

[laughs] The farm towns.

Yeah, there's still lots to see,

you know.

There's Khelar... uh, Bernasi.

My God,

Punjab is just beautiful.

- The Taj Mahal.

- Taj Mahal?

No, I hate the Taj Mahal.

Do not go there.

How can you hate the Taj Mahal?

- How can I--

-[laughs]

Do you know Shah Jahan

cut off the hands

of the 20,000 craftsmen

who built the Taj Mahal

so they would never create

anything beautiful ever again.

I will never set foot in there.

You're cute when you're

righteously indignant.

I know.

[Linda] Since we were talking

about sightseeing...

[Rajit] Mm-hm?

[Linda] Am I allowed

in the temple?

[Rajit] We've got so many gods

we can't keep track

of who's allowed.

Come on, I'll show you.

There's so much music here.

People are dancing, singing.

And then the farmers,

they'll take a small portion

of their seed, and they'll

put it in a bowl like this

-as an offering.

- Do they circle around it?

Yes, exactly.

It's an ancient tradition.

It's like the growth cycle,

and the bowl is like the world

offering up its...

- I don't know.

-[chuckles]

I hope they don't stop

doing the ceremony.

It would be a shame.

- Oh, here.

- What's this?

Oh, a promotional

rice seed packet.

Wow, that's what

I always wanted.

Look at the back.

- Monkey seeds.

- Mm-hm. [laughs]

1 knew Mug

was up to something.

[laughs]

What is that head wiggle

that Indians do?

Hm?

Does it mean yes, no, maybe?

Exactly. Come on, try it.

No.

- Yeah.

- No. Wow, that's horrible.

[laughs]

Okay, okay, let me help you.

Okay.

Move just your head, like this.

Mm-hm. Yeah, that's it.

I can't believe I thought you

were some corporate stooge

out to destroy the lives

of these farmers.

Corporate stooge?

Well, you're not.

Thank you.

Did you clear me

of cannibalism too?

You make everything sound

horrible for no good reason.

You have a good reason to make

everything sound horrible?

- Linda...

- What?

If I had a hundred arms I

You're going to sing now?

Come with me. Please.

If I had a hundred arms I

If I had a hundred arms

To hold you a'

I would never let you go a'

Away from me 4'

If I had a million years r

If I had a million years

To love you r

I would cry a sea of tears 4'

Tears of joy a'

But all I am

I'm just a man r

Who has loved you

From the start a'

Two strong arms x

One big foolish heart a'

If I had a thousand eyes a'

If I had a thousand eyes

To see you a'

I would gaze upon your face a'

For all eternity 4'

But all I am

I'm just a man r

Who has loved you from afar a'

Two strong arms x

One big foolish heart a'

I would give the universe 4'

I'd make all the flowers bloom

On cue r

I would make a diamond ring 4'

Of every shining star a'

But I am only human

After all a'

a' I am just a fool

About to fall a'

And all I have to give a'

Is one big 4'

Foolish heart a'

Wait. What did you mean

when you said

we should stop the ceremony?

No, I said it would be a shame.

You know, ritual is metaphor.

There's no reason to stop just

because the rice is sterile.

Sterile?

Rice Nine doesn't produce seed.

Rice can't be seedless.

Rice is a seed.

Not anymore. You don't plant

the rice that you harvest.

You eat that and then you plant

Rice Nine seed.

Which we're expected

to buy from Mug

-every time we plant?

- Naturally.

And grow 22 percent more rice.

With less water.

No-- What? That's impossible.

Who invented this, Frankenstein?

Maybe you'd like

to rephrase that.

Oh, I'm sorry. Dr. Frankenstein.

Farmers buy seed.

I know why your poster

had a flat line.

You killed the circle of life.

[gasps]

I am going to love visiting

the Taj Mahal!

Fine. Go!

Those hands are on your head!

Oh! my gods.

[cartoon voices]

Oh, no!

[narrator] Rice Nine is armored

with a protective sheath

Yeah, armored.

Not only more protein

and vitamins,

but resistant to pests as well.

On Rice Exchange Day,

you'll load your old seed

onto the Mogil train

and we'll supply you

with the seed of the future.

- Here you go, partner.

- It's a win-win exchange.

Rice Nine.

Join our family.

Mogil

We are the hand that feeds a'

William, listen.

We've got to warn people, okay?

These contracts,

we'll lose our farms.

We'll be trapped buying seeds

we can't afford.

I know, it sounds crazy

but it's true.

What about Linda?

Linda, she would...

never take part

in something like this.

That's not possible, I mean...

That's why we like her, right?

YES.

Yes, I suppose it is.

- Chief?

- Good idea, call the police.

[grunts]

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry about all of this.

- It's nothing personal.

- Hope you got a big, fat bribe.

Hmm, decent. Not life-changing.

- Not life-changing!

- Steady, steady, steady.

You'll be out of here

in two days' time.

So, why don't you think of this

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