Basmati Blues Page #7

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-as a vacation.

- What?!

[muffled grunts]

Sir.

Monkey seeds?

I've always wondered

where monkeys came from.

And now, I have to go

and solve a crime

you will be committing.

[muffled] What?

[muffled shouts]

[group murmuring]

My apologies from all of Bilari.

But, I'm happy to announce

that we have already

captured the criminal.

A young farmer named Rajit.

Rain?

YES.

No, that's not possible. He's...

He's upset.

I think he likes being upset--

What is this?

No, don't touch!

This is a crime scene.

Chief.

Obey r

Obey r

With countless lies

To rectify 4'

We best be on our way a'

Obey r

Your blood and your name I'

Obey the laws of the heart I'

Hey! Hey!

Obey the laws of the heart I'

[William] Mr. Gurgon, trains

are coming from all over India

filled with the farmers' rice.

- It's incredible.

Perfect.

[William]

They all want Rice Nine.

[Gurgon] Let's enjoy the ride.

Obey r

Obey r

a' With a thousand lines

To memorize I'

We best be on our way a'

Obey r

Take that rice to the train.

Cheers.

Obey the laws of the heart I'

Obey the laws of the heart I'

Hey.

[crowd chattering]

Dad, don't wait up for me.

There's something

that I have to do.

William said I could speak

with Rajit.

He's with the head of Mogil.

I don't want to get you

in trouble.

- Wow, look at you.

-[grunts]

I'll speak first.

[grunts]

I just can't figure out

why you would want to gouge me

out of your life.

-[grunts]

- Shh.

You seem to hate me.

[muffled] No, Linda, I don't--

Look, I'm sorry, okay?

I've been horrible.

I've been terrible to you,

but when I'm with you, I feel--

I...

I...

If I had a hundred arms

To hold... 4'

- Ugh!

'[9runts]

You lied and then I came back.

You're so sweet to me,

and then you're mean to me.

-[grunts loudly]

- You destroyed my greenhouse.

- What? Greenhouse?

- Don't even.

And you stabbed my monkey seeds.

You stabbed my heart

through my seeds.

No. William must have

stabbed those seeds

-to make you feel that way.

- Enough.

- William stab--

- Enough lying.

I don't even know

why I came here.

Linda.

Ask the farmers if they know

they have to buy seed

every year.

Good-bye, Raj.

[speaks foreign language]

Obey r

[band plays]

I know that it's probably

a stupid question to ask, but...

the farmers know that

they have to buy seed from us

every year, right?

Of course.

Can you imagine the surprise

if they didn't understand

the implications?

Mm-hm.

[Linda] Right.

How 'bout when

we're finished here,

we take a little side trip.

I've always wanted to see

the Taj Mahal.

[laughs]

Ah, that sounds great.

Mr. Gurgon,

everything's ready for you.

Honored guests...

and you are each,

every one of you,

an honored guest.

In an auspicious...

[shouts]

Ow! Ah!

-[bleats]

- Hey! Hey, goat.

Goat. Hi, goat. Goat.

- Hey, goat.

-[bleats]

Goat, get the key.

[bleats]

The brilliant Dr. Linda Watt.

[applause]

Thank you. Um...

Thank you, Mr. Gurgon

and thank you, Mogil

for sending me

to this amazing country.

I miss Rajit.

This would have made him

so angry.

You've taught me your songs

and dances,

shared your mouth-searing food.

[aHlaugh]

Your tea...

Um...

Uh...

You know, my first day here...

I had the best tea

I've ever tasted.

What a weird guy.

He doesn't like the Taj Mahal.

[laughs]

[Gurgon] Hmm.

And, anyway...

You all know that you have to

buy the seed every year.

Right?

[aHlaugh]

-[chuckles]

-[Linda] Okay.

Okay, so he was crazy.

We plant our own seed.

Why would we buy it?

[aHlaugh]

But... but you can't plant

the harvested rice.

-[feedback]

- I'm serious.

Turn the mic back on, please.

- What's she saying?

- Uh...

But rice is a seed.

Exactly.

[sighs]

[man] We've put up

our farmers' security.

This is impossible!

- Mr. Gurgon...

- You sold it to them.

And you thought

you weren't a salesman.

You rock, Doc.

[Gurgon] We would not ask you

to do anything

that hasn't been done

by every successful farmer

in America.

Rice Nine is the way

to a bright future.

- No. No, it's not.

- How 'bout three cheers.

For the successful farmer.

-[Linda indistinct]

- Hip hip hooray!

Hip hip hooray! Hip hip hooray!

[Gurgon] And so it goes.

Together, we march forward.

I trust all is in order?

Our wish is that you fly

unchained from the past,

to soar to what heights you may

on wings of gold.

Or the precious metal

of your choice.

[Plays]

[Gurgon indistinct]

[Linda] Come with us.

Please, please.

[elder] Linda!

The horse for you.

Lapel, get that choo-choo train

going.

[Gurgon] Our destinies

are now entwined.

- Join us.

-[Gurgon continues]

Hey, hey, stop, stop.

No further.

[man] Go, go, go, go!

We have to stop the train.

Bring crowd control.

[grunting]

Master Rajit...

I have nothing to do

with anything.

[Gurgon in distance]

[Gurgon] It's all right, folks.

They're just here to protect you

and your future.

But they're not local boys.

[crowd murmuring]

A' Tomorrow comes r

[policeman shouts]

I want to thank you all

for participating

in this program.

[feed back]

Liar.

Eric.

I think I'm going to have to

let you go.

[Watt] Let go of me! Ow!

Shall we take the train?

-[cell phone rings]

- Hello?

[Gurgon] Lapel, is my choo-choo

ready to go?

Lapel?

[Rajit grunts]

Lapel?

Nice outfit.

Lapel!

It's ready when you are,

Mr. Gurgon.

Clickety-clack.

Get this engine shut down.

- Now.

- Yes, sir.

[crowd murmuring]

Give my regards to Broadway.

Get this carcass on the road.

Mr. Patel told us the departure

was cancelled.

Who the devil is Patel?

This rice is ready to roll.

This train is bound for glory.

[both sing] J' This train

Is bound for glory

Don't carry nothing but

The righteous and the holy a'

What?

[Evelyn] Press the green button.

[Gurgon] And the red button?

- Press the green button.

- Green, yes.

[hissing]

- Ah, there we go.

- There we go.

[whistle blows]

[horse neighs]

[crowd cheers]

[Linda grunts]

I think that's Dr. Watt.

She's doing better than we are.

A lot.

[whistle blows]

- Dr. Watt, I presume.

- Stop the train!

The train of progress cannot

and will not be stopped.

Oh, yeah.

This train

Is bound for glory a'

This train a'

This train

Is bound for glory a'

This train a'

This train

Is bound for glory a'

[whistle blows]

[engine revs]

[GI-Irgon] Huh? Hey.

In case you didn't know it,

I have five-year

ironclad contracts

and they can't get out of them.

[Gurgon] Faster.

-[engine slows]

- No! No, no, no.

[grunts]

You might want to check with

William about those contracts.

Lapel.

Where are those contracts?

-[laughs]

- We're processing them now.

Eric, I fired you. Lapel!

And the name's Patel.

William Patel.

Oh. You're Patel.

[both laugh]

Come on, train of progress.

[Linda grunts]

Get off the tracks!

Yeah, at that speed

it can stop for me, okay?

Get down!

The train is coming fast!

-[pants]

- Poor brainwashed puppet.

I'm on your side.

I unhinged the rice cars.

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