Batman: Assault on Arkham

Riddle me this.

When is a door, not a door?

It feels like drowning, doesn't it?

When the answer is at the

edge of your cortex,

but you can't seem to grasp it.

You're trying my patience.

The answer... When it's Ajar!

Here is an easy one.

What runs around a

city, but never moves?

No?

A wall!

What do you want, Nigma?

I'm in charge so I'll

ask the questions.

Try to keep up, wont you?

Riddle me this.

What belongs to you,

but others use it more than you do?

Your name.

Huh!

You've heard that one!

No, I have Google,

like the rest of the world.

Why do you talk to me

like this, waller?

Simple, I needed to

keep you babbling

long enough to pinpoint

your position.

My... what?

Hands in the air, where

we can see them!

Take him out!

Make it hurt!

Riddle me this.

Why didn't I quit when I was ahead?

What is it? Report!

The riddler is mine!

Switch to night vision!

Secure the perimeter!

Holy crap! It's Batman!

Ahh!

I know you helped him, Nigma.

Tell me where it is.

I'm invoking priority

level, ultraviolet.

Assemble task force X.

We have another suicide mission.

I got the hangover, but I

don't recall the party.

Oh crap! Not this again!

You too?

It's like a bloody

recurring nightmare.

Looks like we've got rookies.

Who are you people?

And why am I in uniform?

No bars!

No chains!

Time for meat!

Ow!

You try it, fish fingers, and I'll

show you the meaning of cold-blooded.

You're feisty.

Everybody! Shut up!

I've been here before.

I am leaving!

Stop!

Sit down!

I'm Amanda waller.

I'm here to indoctrinate you

convicts into our special forces.

Pass.

I kill to keep degenerates

off the streets.

I won't work alongside them.

Fresh air and term off my sentence?

Feel free to keep

calling me up, love.

Task force X is an off-the-books

government strike team,

made up of convicts with

no hope for release,

serving as expendable agents,

for impossible missions.

Succeed, and I'll shave

time off your sentences.

If we don't?

You'll be dead!

Any other stupid questions?

Yeah, what's in my neck? A tracker?

Yes, and a powerful

nanotech explosive.

Run away, get yourself captured,

disobey an order,

hell, give me a right

answer too slowly,

and I'll blow your head clean off!

You're lying.

You would not take all of this

trouble, just to kill us.

Try me!

Anyone else?

I didn't think so.

What's so dangerous this time that

you had to send in the newbies?

You're going to break

into Arkham asylum.

- That's insane!

- You don't know much, do you?

Screw that!

I don't do freaky deaky's.

Yahtzee!

How do we start?

Oh, I like you, cowboy.

You're loco!

And me likey your locomotion!

- Ahh!

- What's the plan?

A week ago, while in my employ, a low

life calling himself the riddler

managed to gain access

to my computer system.

He downloaded a file

containing the identities

and histories of every current, past and

potential member of the suicide squad.

Including ours?

That's right! He's threatening to

release them all on the Internet.

You're going to get it back.

Riddler's got one copy, and it's

on a thumb drive in his cane,

which is apparently locked away

in the Arkham property room.

In the intensive treatment building, right

under the solitary confinement cells.

Good times!

So we get someone inside.

Is it me? Can it be me?

Dibs!

She's a wild card.

Harley Quinn, has an encyclopedic

knowledge of Arkham's layout

and its logistics.

She gonna be okay that

close to the joker?

I'm fine, we're done.

He's a jerk! Whatever.

Well, I'm convinced.

You'll be snuck into Gotham.

You'll rendezvous with a power broker

who will set you up for the break in.

This is as off-the-grid as it gets.

So let's keep the body

count to a minimum.

Deadshot, rubber bullets only.

What about the bat?

He has his hands full

on another case.

In fact, we work it right, we might

be able to take advantage of him.

Waller!

What, Lawton?

Play fair and I'll shoot straight.

Jerk me around and I'll kill you!

Be a good convict, Lawton.

Don't make me blow you up.

I'm clear!

Gas them!

What?

I'm getting tired of this trick.

You and me both, cowboy.

Maybe, when we get into Gotham,

I can show you around.

I know some tight places.

- Not interested.

- Hmm.

I told you Harley,

if you're giving it out,

heave a chunk my way, eh.

Eh! You wish!

Shake your boomerang

at the shark guy.

Do it, and I will bite it off.

Come on, Harl, for old times' sake!

Are we gonna have a

problem this time around?

I think we might, mate.

No!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

I don't trust vermin.

Honorless, rudderless,

undisciplined.

They'll never find your body.

Oh, ninjas are awesome!

You think that means we're there?

I hate heights!

Whoo!

We're not going to make it!

Waller, please!

Ahh!

Remember this feeling convicts,

I hold your lives in my hands!

You crazy b*tch!

Open the damn chutes!

Do it, now!

Good one! Good shark!

Oh, Christ!

Where's Harley?

Don't worry! I fell on my head.

Great! Now, how do we get

to the rendezvous unseen?

A few more Miles.

Keep moving, then.

This is flipping bonkers!

Sloshing through the sewage so a guy

dressed like a bat won't spot us.

You want to head top side, slick?

Be my guest!

Nah! We're practically there.

Yeah, that's what I thought.

Cobblepot!

We're closed! Private party!

Yeah, we're the private party!

This way. He's waiting on you.

Your guests have

arrived, Mr. Cobblepot.

Right, right. Come in!

Welcome to the iceberg lounge.

I'm just finishing my supper.

Pardon me, Mr. Cobblepot.

Lawton. Oh, I never pegged

Deadshot for a team player.

Oh, things are tough all over, sir.

That's a good one!

This man is the best

assassin I've ever seen.

And I only work with the best.

I aim to please, Mr. Cobblepot.

I was told you can

get us into Arkham.

I can, indeed.

I've made arrangements to sneak

you into the crazy farm.

Follow them to...

You!

Clown!

You're still not mad about

that truck, are you, Pengie?

Wah, wah.

It feels like you are.

You cost me money, funny girl!

Her and her loony boyfriend lit my truck

a cigarette and drove it into the river!

Just for a laugh!

Does it matter that Mr. J and

I aren't together anymore?

Nobody steals from

me and walks away!

It's bad business, love!

You're right, you should kill her!

Hell, I'll kill her for you!

Oh, come on!

Except, you know what else

is bad for business, sir?

Double crossing your clients.

And I would hate for folks to say,

"Mr. Cobblepot takes your money

"and kills your operatives."

Get her out of my sight, Lawton.

There's your files.

Memorize the contents. You can grab

some shut-eye in the rooms above.

You deploy tomorrow night

under the cover of darkness.

And then, I never want to see

any of you on my turf again.

Now, get the hell out of here!

Never the charmer, aren't you?

Bite me, boomer!

Oy, Lawton!

Nice shade, mate.

We got off on the wrong foot

at the start of this mission.

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