Batman Ninja

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1

(BATS SCREECHING)

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

(THUNDERCLAP)

CATWOMAN:
You think you've

heard every Batman story.

I promise, you haven't.

I wouldn't have

believed it myself

if I hadn't seen it

with my own eyes.

And this time, curiosity

almost killed this cat.

BATMAN:
Shut it down, Grodd.

It's over. You're finished!

GORILLA GRODD:

No, I'm too close.

You will not interfere with my

experiment this time, Batman.

(GROWLS)

Catwoman, don't!

(PANTING)

(GRUNTS)

(GRUNTING)

(GRUNTING)

BATMAN:
What?

Where am I?

What happened?

(EXCLAIMS)

Hmm?

It's Japanese.

And that's me.

(APPROACHING FOOTSTEPS)

SAMURAI:
There he is,

get him!

Samurai?

Stop! Listen to me, I don't

want to hurt any of you.

Fine, have it

your way.

Explain yourself.

We were sent to find the man

dressed as a bat.

Our master has ordered us

to kill him on sight.

He cannot be allowed to live.

Who's your master?

(HORSES NEIGHING)

(OPENING THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

None of this makes any sense.

Everything's offline.

But from the look of it,

this is ancient Japan.

Which doesn't explain

what's going on up there.

BATMAN:
What?

(LAUGHS MANIACALLY)

- The Joker?

- So soon?

That's right, Bats.

(WHISPERS) It is I.

Damn you!

(JOKER LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

Hi.

And Harley Quinn.

Oh, but you

have to admit,

we really had you

going there, didn't we?

That's enough. What are you

playing at this time, Joker?

(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

Haven't you heard?

Everyone's been calling me

Diruku Tin Mao,

The Demon King.

The most powerful

man in Japan.

But you can call me...

Lord Joker.

Oh, I never really

wanted to be a Lord.

It wasn't what you would

call an aspiration.

But when life throws

you time travels,

sometimes you gotta make travelade.

(LAUGHS)

Guess I have that monkey

to thank for this.

If it wasn't for

his stupid machine

- this tiny island would have never been on my itinerary.

- (GRUMBLES)

I have to say I've really

enjoyed the sushi here.

Mwah. It's even better

with some sauce.

(JOKER LAUGHS EXULTANTLY)

(JOKER GROANS)

(GROANS)

Is it me, or is it

getting hot in here?

Oh, don't run away.

I'm your biggest fan.

(LAUGHS MANIACALLY)

Oh, now, now, Batman, don't

you want to play anymore?

Oh, now look what you've done.

Poison Ivy would be

very disappointed.

Mmm.

Don't you know how bad razor-edged

fighting fans are for the environment?

You're the one who

keeps throwing them.

Because you won't

let them hit you.

(BOTH LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

Looks like you're

fresh out of those fans.

So what are you

going to do now, Joker?

- Oh, I've got options, Bats.

- (LAUGHS MANIACALLY)

I've still

got Harley,

- and an army of Samurai who have you surrounded.

- (SNAPS FINGER)

BATMAN:
Seven to one,

I'll take those odds.

(MUFFLED CUNNING LAUGHTER)

(GRUNTS)

(GASPS)

Should we go

after him, Lord J?

I've got people.

Let's just enjoy

the moonlight.

(EXCLAIMS SATISFACTORILY)

We have all the time

in the world.

SHOGUN:
Move, move.

He can't be far.

- (MEOWING)

- Huh?

(MEOWING)

Don't be afraid.

It's just a little catcall.

Catwoman?

CATWOMAN:
When I saw the

Joker's samurai on the move,

I figured

something was up.

I'm glad

it was you.

How did you

get here?

Same as you.

Gorilla Grodd's time machine.

That was

two years ago.

How is that

even possible?

I downloaded these before the time jump.

Maybe they can help.

JOKER:
Say what's

your business, monkey.

PENGUIN:
Why have you

brought us here?

GORILLA GRODD:
Criminals of Gotham

City, I've gathered you here

to unveil

my greatest invention.

NIGHTWING:
Red Hood,

this is Nightwing.

The lead paid off. It's like

a criminal convention here.

RED HOOD:
Yeah, I can see them

from here too.

ALFRED:
Well, the Mayor's

party's tonight.

I wasn't alone.

They were all there too.

Nightwing, Red Hood,

Red Robin, and Robin.

So where are they?

I don't know.

I haven't seen

any of them.

But since arriving, Gotham's criminals

have run wild all over Japan.

GORILLA GRODD:

Behold, The Quake Engine.

Now, witness as I become

master of time and space,

and bend them to my will.

(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

CATWOMAN:
There are

no more images.

The rest are

just audio files.

BATMAN:
Grodd's machine must

have affected the data transfer.

JOKER:
Now it's all

upside down.

I think that monkey has been

mucking with our heads.

GORILLA GRODD:
You will not interfere

with my experiment this time, Bat...

So the Joker is just the unwitting

beneficiary of Grodd's experiment.

Well, no one ever said

he didn't thrive in chaos.

BATMAN:
But we were there

at the same time,

why the two year difference?

CATWOMAN:
Who knows how

time travel works?

Grodd delayed me, and it

must have affected the jump.

A matter of seconds then,

turned to be two years now.

Selena, may I ask what were

you doing there that night?

I can tell you I never thought

I'd end up here.

I followed Gorilla Grodd to Arkham

to see what he was up to that night.

If it was any good, I was

planning on stealing it.

And the criminals?

Like the Joker,

they've taken over.

They've deceived

all the Sengoku Daimyos

and become

lords of their states.

Sengoku Daimyo?

That's right.

This period in Japan was a

feudal era of warring states.

CATWOMAN:
Yes. Each of Gotham's criminals

is trying to conquer and unify Japan.

The Penguin has seized control

of the state of Kai.

He skirmishes repeatedly with the

neighboring state of Echigo,

where Poison Ivy rules.

(PENGUIN LAUGHING CUNNINGLY)

PENGUIN:
Fly,

my fine-feathered friends.

POISON IVY:
I'll bury you in

the dirt, you old buzzard.

CATWOMAN:
In the state of Nutsu,

Deathstroke reigns supreme.

DEATHSTROKE:

Once my fortress is complete,

it'll be my turn

to strike. Yeah.

CATWOMAN:
Two-Face has taken

control in the state of Omie.

Near the capital.

He has become

a vassal of the Joker.

TWO-FACE:
Let's see, what will

my next move be?

CATWOMAN:
But right now, the feudal

lord who is closest to unifying Japan

is the Joker.

(JOKER LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

(HARLEY QUINN

LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

BATMAN:
So they're all trying to takeover

this country and rewrite history.

We have to find Gorilla Grodd.

Have you seen him?

Not recently.

Why don't you and I

join forces, Bruce?

Join forces?

I want to go home. Two years

is a long time to be away.

Okay. But

no tricks, Selena.

Swear.

We just have to

get into that tower.

Joker keeps Grodd's

time machine in there.

This missionary look

is not bad.

There were quite a lot of Christian missionaries

that came to Japan during this era.

This way you won't look

too suspicious as a westerner.

The bat tonsure

is a nice touch.

BATMAN:
Thanks.

So, why did you

bring me here?

CATWOMAN:
I wanted

you to see this.

The Joker is up to

something strange.

BATMAN:
Is that coal?

So the Joker is

already changing the timeline.

The industrial revolution

wasn't until much later.

I really doubt the Joker

cares much about history.

My guess is whatever

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