Batman Ninja Page #2

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he's doing,

he'll use it

to become Shogun.

But it's not

just the Joker.

We'll have to defeat all of

Gotham's criminals to save history.

We'll need weapons

for that.

If only there were

someone who could help us.

Care for

some tea, sir?

Ah, much appreciated.

Oh, is this is black tea?

Hard to come by in these

neck of the woods.

Hope you find it

to your liking.

Alfred.

It was Ms. Selena's idea.

I do apologize.

ALFRED:
It's a bit more rustic

than you're accustomed to.

But I think it makes for

a suitable bat cave.

What?

I can't believe

you didn't tell me, Selena.

I know, but I wanted to see the

look of surprise on your face.

There's no need

to worry.

The vehicle's been well

maintained, Master Bruce.

But I don't understand.

Alfred was in

the Batmobile that night.

We were lucky enough

to find each other here.

And we both figured it was only a

matter of time before you arrived.

And here I am.

Well, I think the Joker would be

quite shocked to see you in it.

Yeah, let's hope.

Well, I must confess

that I'm quite relieved Ms. Selena

found you in the forest, Master Bruce.

I, for one, have always wanted

to visit this beautiful country,

but I'd much prefer to

do so in my own time.

Although, I must admit, I've picked

up quite a few new culinary ideas.

And there's a fish I rather

fancy, made with miso.

(BOTH GIGGLE)

I see you haven't changed

at all, old friend.

I can't wait to taste this fish

dish you've been talking about.

Didn't mean to brag, sir,

but it is quite good.

I'm sure it is.

Get down!

Fire!

A direct hit!

We got him.

- Huh? What is that?

- Bail out.

I'm going

after the Joker.

Selena, take care

of Alfred for me.

You got it.

(PANTING)

Batman's comin'!

- What's that?

- Batman's here

in his Batmobile!

Take aim! Fire!

HARLEY QUINN:
He's beaten

the gunmen and our cannons.

And he's

rapidly approaching

as this fun

puppet show demonstrates.

(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

He's nothing without

his stupid Batmobile.

Which gives me

an interesting idea.

Nice try.

Oh, Batman. The old

magnetized bumper trick.

Always so clever

with your technology.

Harley, activate

Arkham Castle!

But, puddin', the castle

isn't even finished yet.

But this is

the Batman!

He's the reason we made

it in the first place.

Right.

(LAUGHS CUNNINGLY)

Get ready, Joker.

(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING

IN ASTONISHMENT)

What the hell

is that?

This is madness.

(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

JOKER:
How about a pitcher?

Not a belly itcher.

Now we need a batter,

not a broken ladder.

Swing batter.

Incoming.

Now, it's my turn.

BATMAN:
I'm coming for you.

Ooh, storming the gate.

JOKER:
Let me give you

a helping hand.

Now I'll crush your favorite

toy with you inside it.

Not today.

(JOKER EXCLAIMING)

Very persistent,

my old friend.

BATMAN:
Locked on target.

JOKER:
You know what

I like best about you?

You're so predictable.

(JOKER LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

Bat on a stick, one of

my favorite delicacies.

Not so fast.

It's over, Joker.

You're through.

No, I don't think you have

that completely right.

Hmm?

(JOKER LAUGHS CUNNINGLY)

How terrible!

You can come after me, or save

that mother and child down below.

Your move, Bats!

No!

(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

(BANE GRUNTING)

Bane? How did you...

(BANE GRUNTING)

(BANE GRUNTS)

BATMAN:
This isn't

your fight!

Go! Hurry!

Need more power.

- (BEEPING)

- Wait! No!

Get moving,

I'll hold them off.

Hold this!

(JOKER LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

Poor Bats. He always

falls for the same tricks.

Oh, it makes me sad

he's so dumb.

He's always risking his life

to save ordinary people.

If you had just let them die

and gone after me instead,

maybe you wouldn't find yourself

in such terrible shape.

I have no regrets.

Well, what shall

we do now?

Are you just

going to lie there,

or are you going to

entertain me some more?

I'm not here for

your entertainment.

Ah, wrong again.

Now that all your toys

are busted

you better start thinking what

you're going to do for a second act.

Oh, if only your friends were

around to come by and say hi.

Uh, puddin', look!

Huh?

(BOTH SCREAM)

I didn't mean it!

I was being sarcastic!

(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

HARLEY QUINN:

What? Ninja Batmen?

We got you. (WHISTLES)

Huh?

(EXCLAIMS QUIZZICALLY)

BATMAN:
Nightwing, Red Robin,

who else made the time jump?

Red Hood

and Robin, too.

But Red Hood is away

on a recon mission

to find out what's happening

in the other feudal states.

Alfred and Catwoman?

Don't worry.

Robin has already

gone after them.

They should be

here shortly.

And him?

Batman, this

is Aeon.

He was a great help to us

after we arrived here.

He's the leader of

the ninja clan.

BATMAN:
Ninja clan?

We are the Bat clan

of Hida.

Our lives are guided by

an ancient prophecy.

Legend foretells that

when the country is in chaos

a foreign ninja wearing

the mask of a bat will come

and restore order to our land.

Bat clan, we have waited

all our lives for this moment.

Serve this shinobi

with your life.

This is the hour

of our destiny.

Now, we finally look upon you,

great shinobi from

across the sea of time.

Lord Batman.

Hmm.

(NINJAS GRUNTING)

Looks like

a nice place.

Yes, but for

how long.

The Batmobile,

the Batwing, the Batcycle

they've all been destroyed

at the hands of the Joker.

How do we regain the advantage

when we have nothing?

Batman.

Monkichi has

a message for you.

Monkichi?

It's weird, but Robin's

made friends with this monkey.

He's really

pretty smart.

And he understands

everything I say.

(MONKICHI EXCLAIMING)

BATMAN:
What is it?

He says he got it from

someone in the mountain.

CATWOMAN:
It's in English.

It's Grodd.

(FLUTE PLAYING)

(SIGHS SATISFACTORILY)

Oh, that feels good.

What is it about

apes and humans

that we always sigh when we

relax in a hot bath, Batman?

You might as well

enjoy the waters, too.

No, I'm good right here.

I never would have taken

you for the shy type,

but then again you are always

hiding behind the mask.

Are you sure you don't

want to reconsider?

(SLURPING)

BATMAN:
I'm guessing

you didn't invite me here

just to join you

for a hot soak.

GORILLA GRODD:
Such impatience.

BATMAN:
Well, what did

you expect?

We're only in this mess

because of you, Grodd.

Why did you invent that time

machine in the first place?

That's like asking why this

ancient Gorilla crossed the road.

Because I could.

The criminals of Gotham

were my guinea pigs.

I was going to send them some place far

away, so I could take over Gotham myself.

And I would've succeeded.

The Quake Engine was

my greatest invention.

But your interference brought

us to this time and place.

BATMAN:
How's that?

GORILLA GRODD:
We are both responsible

for what transpired that night.

And we will need to

cooperate to get home.

What do

you say, Batman?

I'll be the bait.

It's the best way

to draw out the Joker.

GORILLA GRODD:

Hmm. Intriguing.

(FLUTE PLAYING)

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