Battleground Page #3

Will you stop yapping?

First and third squads

gotta run patrols all night.

- All we gotta do is...

- Standiferd, take over.

- I'm pulling the first shift on the roadblock.

- Okay.

You better take a blanket with you.

This fog...

really gets to you.

I feel kind of woozy myself.

Let's go, Hansan.

Just get it started. We'll finish it up.

When you were in that camp

in New York...

- did you ever phone your wife?

- Sure.

- What did it cost?

- A nickel. What did you think?

That's right. She came there to see you.

Did you phone your kids long distance?

Yeah, just before we shipped out.

- Why?

- What did that cost?

$2 for three minutes.

- Why, Johnny?

- I was thinking...

it's probably about as far from New York

to Wichita, where your kids were...

as it is from Wichita to Los Angeles,

where my folks are.

And when you get back home...

what would that be, about 200 francs?

I'll send you a bill, Johnny.

Tell them that I...

Well, you'll think of something.

And if it runs over three minutes, it's okay.

Put out that fire. It's getting dark, Holley.

Put on that steel pot

and get over to the roadblock.

Three on a shift at night:

You, Kipp, and the new man.

They said to look out

for Krauts wearing GI uniforms.

What about the password?

That might be nice to know,

in case somebody thinks we're Krauts.

- Bug-jitter.

- Thanks.

Here, don't get any dirt in these eggs.

Okay, you get half of them.

- How do you feel, Standiferd?

- Terrible.

It's settling down in my chest.

I'm almost sure I have a fever.

I had a fever in Holland, but the medics

wouldn't let me off the line.

You have to have 102. That's a regulation.

Listen to that voice. I can hardly talk.

Yeah, it sounds good.

Halt! Password!

- Bug.

- Jitter.

- What is this, Charlie Company?

- No, sir, ltem.

I Company?

This must be the road to Neufchteau.

- I think it is.

- You want to be sure of things, soldier.

- Is there a bridge up ahead?

- Yes, about half a mile out.

Good. Let's go.

Smart cookie. Wearing his bars on patrol.

Must be a new replacement.

Don't let that happen again.

Speak English.

Yes, sir.

Oh, no!

Look, Pop, it's snowing!

I never saw snow up close before.

It's beautiful.

You didn't, by any chance hear...

that it's kind of cold

and a little on the wet side, did you?

Man, it's really coming down.

Well, close the window, Johnny,

and fix that hole in the roof.

You should know better

than to take off your boots in a foxhole.

You might want to start running fast.

- I can't sleep with wet boots on.

- Then wear your galoshes until they dry.

I ain't got no galoshes.

- Where did you get those branches?

- Where do you generally get branches?

- I didn't know if the woods were cleared.

- Yeah, sure. K Company's in there.

- K Company?

- Yeah.

I got a buddy in K Company.

- Is this K Company?

- Yeah.

- Where will I find Hooper?

- Hooper? Never heard of him.

Bill Hooper. I know he's in K Company.

He's not in my platoon.

That first hole is the company C.P.

- They'll know where he is.

- Thanks.

What platoon is Hooper in,

William J. Hooper?

Nobody by that name in K Company.

Yes, there is. He came in with

the new replacements just the other day.

That was his name? Hey, Sergeant.

What's up?

That kid they got at last night,

name is Hooper. William J. Hooper.

Now I can finish

making out my morning report. Thanks.

Direct hit on his foxhole. A mortar.

You don't hear them coming.

You don't know what hit you.

You didn't even know his name.

We didn't even find his dog tags.

Chatsburg News.

Li'I Abner gets one: The Dogpatch Gazette.

I'll take it.

- Sorry, Pop.

- It'll probably come up in the next batch.

You act as if I want a discharge.

Man, I like it here.

Stick around, Kinnie. We're going

to choose up sides for a snowball fight.

Hand these letters out

with the rations, Hansan.

They're all dinner, for once without coffee.

Dinner rations, with that vitamin-packed

lemonade powder:

"Simply add water

and serve ice-cold. Delicious."

- About that patrol, Kinnie...

- I can't let you go on it, Wolowicz.

I want to be sure you'll be around to take

over the platoon if I have to go back.

My feet froze up pretty bad last night.

I want three volunteers

to go out on a patrol.

You, you, and you.

You're in charge, Holley.

Why am I always volunteering for patrol?

- I'm just a cowboy.

- All right, this is the deal, Holley.

G-2 says the Krauts

dropped some paratroops last night.

And they might be hiding in that patch

of woods on the other side of that farm.

G-2. Wonderful how

they always know what's cooking.

Well, I can tell you something

they do know.

Last night, some Krauts in GI uniforms

infiltrated right through this area.

They blew up a bridge

on the road to Neufchteau.

Was one of them wearing lieutenant bars?

- How did you know?

- We get all the latest rumors.

Rumor, my eye.

They captured one of them.

Spoke English perfect. Knew our

password, plan of deployment, everything.

Kinnie, how about showing me

the way to the aid station?

I'm freezing.

- Feeling any better?

- Worse. Much worse.

Never felt so sick in my life.

Maybe I've even got pneumonia.

He's really bad.

Yeah, he's a cinch to go back

to the field hospital. Maybe even to Paris.

I don't know. That penicillin...

He's liable to be back in a day.

Yeah, a good, clean flesh wound is better.

Then they got to send you back.

No, thanks. I don't smoke.

Guys get sick, guys get wounded,

and nothing ever happens to me.

Nothing except that time

you broke your faux choppers.

It was when you were back. Kipp found

out you can't keep a man on the line...

unless he's got

at least six teeth of his own.

I didn't know about that.

So he broke his GI teeth

with the butt of his rifle.

I ran into a tree trunk in the dark.

He was off the line for two weeks

getting a new set made.

Let's get this patrol on the road.

That's incoming mail.

Holley, I think your eggs are about done.

We've had good deals before,

but this is the best one yet.

This is great. I don't ever wanna go back.

I found a home in the Army.

Of course, you can see snow from LA.

Way off in the mountains.

They got us zeroed in.

I'm getting out of here.

I hope he makes it. They should

never have sent him back on the line.

Some guys just can't take it.

Wolowicz, there's something

I want you to know.

My name is Layton.

- I know it is.

- I just wanted to be sure.

Thanks.

This is what G-2 calls a patch of woods.

A whole division

could be hiding in that forest.

Nice job for a three-man patrol.

Yeah, if we don't get back, that's how

they'll know we ran into some Krauts.

- What's the password?

- Texas.

Keep them covered. They may be German.

- Any line on these woods, Major?

- I didn't hear the countersign.

Leaguer. Texas Leaguer.

Will this road take us

to Third Bat headquarters?

- Straight ahead.

- Get going.

- Just a minute. What is a Texas leaguer?

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