Be Kind Rewind Page #8

The pilots are black, I'm black,

the whole plane is black...

...and we're not crashing.

Dave, it's me, HAL.

I'm afraid I can't open

the pod doors, Dave.

Why don't you take a jog

around the space capsule?

Okay, I'm ready. Go.

Alma! This is ketchup.

- You said you were gonna use Kool-Aid!

- Sorry.

God, Alma.

Oh, where's the driver?

All right.

We gotta stop off

and pick up an Enquirer.

Find out what the aliens are doing.

We're upside down!

Look, I'm upside down.

The whole universe is in a marble!

I'm glad you have come to your senses.

I have a list of addresses here

for you to visit.

Hey, hey. No, no, no.

Tomorrow, I am starting

a progressive transition...

...to a modern medium: the DVD.

You see, I've found

these affordable DVD players...

...that I'm going to recommend

to my customers.

Within a couple of months,

half of my catalogue...

...will be digital.

The rest, by the end of the year.

Which means more titles

in the same space...

...and more business.

Listen, if you don't want

the building demolished...

...then you're going to have to

make these renovations...

...with one of the city's

licensed contractors.

Do you have any idea of the kind of costs

we're talking about here?

Here's an estimate

of the cost to repair the roof.

And that's the bare minimum

of work needed. I ...

- I just don't see it happening.

- Okay.

Okay, what?

I'll fix the roof.

Fine.

You now have six weeks before

Mr. Baker brings the demolition crew...

...then you're going to have to

relocate yourself at your own expense.

Next!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Whoa, he cut the line!

- Hey, gramps.

- Hey.

Back of the line.

I've been waiting an hour out there.

- Yeah.

- I came all the way from New York.

New York, for real?

- Mike and Jerry are famous there?

- No.

- Hey, back out.

- My... My shop.

I'm really sorry, sir, but you're going

to have to go to the back of the line.

- I can't afford a riot in the shop.

- No, this is my business.

Can somebody explain to me

what's going on here?

- Hey, Mike! Where's Mikey? Mike!

- Mr. Fletcher.

- What's going on, man?

- Oh, hey.

I can... I can explain everything.

Something terrible happened

with the tapes.

They all got erased.

I know you didn't want Jerry

to come into the store...

...but...

- Jerry?

All right, this is the last autograph.

My fingers are getting tired. I'm serious.

- Oh, man.

- I'll see you guys tomorrow.

Let me take your bag for you,

then I can explain...

Uh-oh, who's back? Mr. Fletchy.

Hey, welcome home, man.

I got the slogan. Check it out:

"Be Kind Rewind, Videos la Carte.

You name it, we shoot it.

Be Kind Rewind, Videos la Carte. "

- Jerry.

- That's great. I think he gets it.

- Thanks, Jerry.

- It's snappy. Just put a little drums under it.

- We'll just...

- I didn't mean to scream at you.

- I didn't know that you were the boss.

- You know what I mean?

Listen, kids.

I appreciate your creativity...

...but let's be realistic for a second.

We will never hit that number,

and the building will be gone.

Oh, no, Mr. Fletcher. We can do it.

We've... We've been doing really,

really good.

You know, we've been working hard.

We grow every day.

It's far from enough.

We need to adapt to the market.

So to hell with documentaries...

...oldies, cult movies.

We need to simplify.

Two sections.

Action-adventures, comedies.

That's it.

We got to keep the silent movies,

the Fats movies.

No, no. Quiet. I don't wanna hear

any more about Fats Waller.

New rules apply

from tomorrow morning.

Oh, and I forgot.

DVDs.

DVD, what?

No more tapes.

The entire catalogue has to be on DVD

by the end of the year.

And our films?

Yours and whatever we rent

from my store.

I don't know why he's doing this.

It's like everything

that we've been doing...

...is just nothing? It's... Just like...

- We can't keep doing this.

- No way.

We are doing better business

than this store has ever done.

We're... We're celebrities now.

We're on the power list.

He has to listen to us.

No. No, he don't.

I should've known.

It's my fault. I should've known.

He don't like... He don't like remakes.

It's worthless to him.

It's like I'm nothing to him.

I just... I just work here.

Filthy little punk.

No way this punk kid

gonna put his filth on my piano.

No, I erased all the tapes.

I'm the little punk.

Why is it always about you guys?

What about me?

What about Alma?

I wanna be a filthy punk too,

you know?

These are not just simple remakes.

They are way more creative.

Of course, if the business

maintains its current progress...

...we won't hit the objective.

But if we shorten

the length of the films...

...we can shoot more of them.

And we will incrementally increase

the increase of the income.

- Can you repeat the last...?

- No, Alma.

- People will feel swindled.

- Not if we include them in the films.

We'll give them parts to play.

This way:
A, with their help,

we can make more movies...

... B, the films can be shorter

and they won't feel swindled.

They're not gonna feel cheated,

they won't feel swindled...

...and they'll see their selves as a part...

- Yes.

...of the neighborhood.

- They'll become the stockholders...

...of their own happiness.

You guys, this is something

we can build on.

If we do more movies

in a shorter time, we can...

- We can rent more movies.

- That's what I'm saying.

- Wait, that's what I just said.

- I thought it before you said it.

- Doesn't matter who said it first.

- No... Jerry.

We're all saying...

We're all on the same page.

- I agree, I agree.

- I wanna be a part of this team officially.

It's like... What do you call that,

when snow falls...?

- Avalanche.

- No, when... Snowballing.

- Snowballing. Getting bigger and bigger.

- That's an avalanche.

And it incrementally increases

the snowball size.

- Come on. Right here. I can feel this.

- We need to do this.

- Go.

- Explode! Big success.

Do you really wanna buy these expensive

and overly complicated DVD players?

No. No way.

So for only $ 20,

you can purchase this digital unit...

... you can simply tape or glue

into your VCR...

... and then it upgrades

into our Be Kind Rewind DVD player.

And only then is when

you can play our Be Kind Rewind...

- That is good.

...DVDs.

Vacation with Chevy Chase.

Comedy, please.

- That's not Sweded yet. Sorry.

- Comedy.

- Comedy.

- The Jerk, action.

Wrong genre. That is a comedy.

I must exclude you for the day.

You can come back tomorrow.

That's the new system.

You have to say the right thing.

Man, the new system sucks, man.

I'm sick and tired of all these rules.

- Hey, Lord of the Rings is not a comedy.

- We didn't insult your new rules.

Now, listen. I want The Jerk...

...Sweden by tomorrow.

- Sweded, Sweded.

- Sweded.

- Sweded by tomorrow...

...or this little thing that's in your...

Let me see, let me see.

I'd be lying if I said

I was not waiting for this opportunity...

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