Beastly Page #3

don't call me, don't do anything.

Just stay away.

I screwed up,

keep screwing up, I know that,

but I don't know

what else to do...

You can leave.

So I'm here, okay?

Whoever you are.

You come near me, I taser your ass.

So that makes two of us.

- I got you food.

- Call someone who gives.

I'd really like to explain.

Please come out.

Inviting.

What?

This time go to Barneys,

get Manolos or whatever

sick-expensive kind Sloan

and her bimbots loved.

Everything you say to me about her,

everything I see,

tells me she's not the kind.

Prada, then.

To be bought.

I'm not trying to buy her.

You are. And she'll hate that.

So what, then?

What do you know about her?

You must think about her.

Me know you see who she is.

Go on. Think.

It's like you don't even know me.

This whole thing is all kinds of mess.

It's just a bad scene.

There's nothing remotely good

and I miss everybody.

I miss being able to go out and

get deli coffee whenever I want.

And the clinic.

And everything that made me me.

No, it's way screwed up and

he thinks he can give me a few presents

and, like, that fixes everything.

I know it's just for a little while,

but I'm hating it.

I hate missing school, hate my dad,

just hate hating.

And I know it's life or death

but I've been saving for

that Machu Picchu trip for three years.

You know, the first thing

I did in my life just for me,

just because I wanted to.

Lindy-Lindy journeys to

a wonder of the world

and finally seizes her moment and...

Jesus, what's your problem?

What's with the mask?

I didn't want to freak you out.

Sure. The ski mask

didn't freak me out.

I, uh, I-I got you Jujyfruits.

Can I ask you something?

Why am I here?

Because you need to be protected.

But I can take care of myself.

You don't even know me.

But my Dad and-and-and your Dad...

I know, his mysterious

"friend from the past."

He wanted someone

they couldn't trace you to.

He's scared out of his mind

something will happen to you.

Because of how much he loves you.

Which he kept saying

over and over.

- Really?

- Yeah.

Thanks for the Jujyfruits.

You're welcome.

The thinking thing killed. Killed.

Dear Lindy, I've been

thinking about letters recently.

The real kind. Longhand.

And how it's terrible that

nobody's writing them anymore.

And so I decided to start

one to you, today.

Now, you're doing what?

Seeing if I can build a greenhouse.

She's very into roses.

Each color means

something different, you know?

Yeah. Well, they all kind of mean,

I'm a guy who cries over chick flicks

and sleeps with stuffed animals.

I'm not here.

Hey. I'm Lindy.

Hi. Will. A pleasure.

I, uh... heard the game.

- You a Rangers fan?

- Die-hard.

I knew it. Guys' gal.

Guys' gal.

- Why don't you join me?

- Thanks.

Sure.

What's with all the tools?

Uh, it's Hunter's thing.

It's a structure on the roof.

Structure for what?

You ever see the 1954

Devil Girl from Mars flick,

where they abduct virginal

teenage girls for breeding stock?

I'm just... It's a joke-joke. Sorry.

I haven't gotten out much.

I'm losing my social graces.

Rewind.

Hi. Will. Pleasure.

The building books

belong to Hunter,

an all-around, way-good guy

who's contemplating building

a greenhouse.

- A greenhouse?

- Yeah.

Rad.

Right?

Very funny.

So are we gonna, like, really meet?

- Like, now?

- No.

Okay.

You lived here your whole life?

No. Pretty recently.

I was living with my dad,

but he's the kinda guy

who can't really deal...

I wouldn't know anything about that.

And your mom?

Mine's dead. I never knew her.

So... no mom... Screwed-up dad.

It's too bad

we have nothing in common.

What's with the Korean TV?

You speak Korean?

- Fluently.

- Oh, really?

What are they saying?

"Bon Appetit."

She didn't say "Bon Appetit."

Oh, you speak Korean too?

I don't like to show off, but yes.

And Koreans do not say

Bon Appetit.

She said the Korean equivalent.

Which is what?

I hope you have a big appetite

such that you scarf food

and hurl chunks.

No that's the subjunctive.

I'll take Mom,

you take Perm Boy.

Game on.

So what's she saying now?

I love you, but when it comes to hair,

you are a clueless wonder

I can tell you for a fact

that is not what she said.

What Mom said was...

Hope Will isn't

your Korean teacher.

Do you, uh... do you miss school?

Like a natural-born wonk.

Cause, uh... I have classes

if you want to come.

Yes. I'd love to

- Tomorrow?

- Sure.

Well, great.

I guess good night then.

Hold up.

Pretty gruesome, huh?

I've seen worse.

We're having school today,

but you need to make it

seem like we didnt just start

a-and I need to look smart.

Lindy's coming.

Shut up. What're we studying?

Don't worry, I'll come up with

something graphic and humiliating.

No-No-No.

I need to know what it is now.

I need the answers in advance.

That's called cheating.

No, that's called trying

to get a girl to like you

while look like the lead

in a slasher flick.

- Shakespeare sonnet?

- Obvious.

- E.E. Cummings.

- Cliche.

What's cliche is the guy liking

school to impress the girl.

What about the Frank O'Hara poem

"Having a Coke with You"?

How do you know that poem?

I Googled

"modern poetry, impress girls."

But I need smart things to say.

Good luck with that.

I need another thinking thing.

Another thing Lindy'll like.

It's for this morning.

Please don't ask.

When my husband

wanted me to marry him,

he would weave me baskets.

Yeah, I really don't think

that's gonna work.

- What about chocolate?

- Oh, no.

Come on.

She will like it

when you are being kind.

Yeah, I suck at that

When you are being yourself.

What, this self or the jerk I was?

The man I know you to be.

How'd you do it?

I, uh, I just figured it out.

I love "Having a Coke With You."

- Shoot me now.

- What?

No, I mean, that's great,

that you know all about it

and will have

lots of smart things to say.

Blind man climbing.

- Could you just hang on a sec?

- Ow! Blind guy tripping.

- You're okay?

- Peachy.

Zola, thanks for getting these.

And by the way, I'm up the creek.

It turns out "Having a Coke with You"

is one of Lindy's favorites.

God, I'm looking forward to this class.

- Here you go.

- How'd you know?

Deli coffee, very underrated.

As I've always said.

Long-time green thumb?

No, no.

Actually my dad stuck me

in this house

so no one could see me.

And I thought I'd take the,

the ugly and

shameful thing and

turn it into something not.

Of course, not everyone

can necessarily see its beauty...

Just read.

Having a Coke with You

is even more fun than

going to San Sebastian,

Irun, Hendaye, Biarritz, Bayonne

or being sick to my stomach

on the Travesera de Gracia

in Barcelona

partly because

in your orange shirt

you look like a better

happier St. Sebastian

partly because of my love for you.

We be back.

We... Oh, yeah,

we be back. We be back.

Carry on.

In the warm New York

we are drifting back and forth

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