Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time Page #2

---

# Ooh, so hard to please #

# Livin' in such a crazy world #

# Just move over and gimme the keys #

Uh-oh.

# Another night #

# You kiss the mornin' #

# Slip away without a trace #

Whoo! I am so cool.

# Without a warning #

# You got me, girl, between

a rock and a hard place #

# Rapture #

# Heartbreak #

# You're a reckless little girl #

# But that's all right #

# Satisfaction guaranteed tonight #

# Keep on, keep on rockin' me #

# Keep on, keep on rockin' me #

# Keep on, keep on rockin' me #

# All night long #

# All night long #

# Every time I see you, babe #

# It breaks my heart with pain #

# Like a sultry summer day #

# Holding on, brave the rain #

[ gasp ] Oh, sh*t!

Oh... aah!

Well, this is nice.

This is very, very nice.

You write the report this time.

I'm not doing the--

So, uh, where's the camera?

Yo, Darth Vader, what is

this, some kind of movie set?

OK, drop your weapons.

You're under arrest!

You have the right to remain silent.

You shall remain silent.

Sh*t!

I want them alive!

Since when did the governor

pardon mental patients?

Exeter, Zavic!

Unit 86 to headquarters--

officers under fire.

Immediate assistance requested.

A 10-28 at the intersection of...

Where the hell are we?

How should I know?

This isn't my neighborhood.

It's going to blow!

- Aah!

- Aah!

Marcellus, are we dreaming?

If we were dreaming,

we couldn't have to

explain to the captain

what happened to our patrol cars.

Get her!

These guys don't give warning shots.

Oh... oh, come on.

Ohh!

Exeter, bring me the outsider.

Yes, my lord.

Alive!

Yes, my lord.

Now!

Get the outsider!

What an incredible

instrument of destruction

this beast would make.

I could roll over the entire armies.

It's called a car.

A dar.

A car.

A car.

Let's cross over to the other world now.

I know many other

wonders of their world.

Put yourselves in the hand

of your future queen.

So, my little dove,

you wish to be my queen.

I certainly don't wish to be your maid.

First we interrogate the outsider...

my witch.

[ engine dies ]

[ engine won't start ]

Damn!

Where's the auto club

when you need them?

Well, there's got to be a main road

around here somewhere.

You know that middle of nowhere

you always heard about...

I'm here.

Hello...

hello...

PJ, close the blinds.

PJ, go away.

Your breath smells worse

than a dead iguana.

PJ, that's disgusting.

Uh-oh.

Nice-- nice kitty.

Nice-- nice baby.

That's right. That-that's good.

Isn't there maybe a ball of string

you'd like to go play with?

Mommy will get you

a nice can of 9 lives.

Who is this PJ?

There is no cause to be alarmed.

I don't know about you,

but I'd rather eat breakfast

than be breakfast.

The beast is my friend.

I see through his eyes.

He sees through mine.

Enough, enough.

I know his thoughts. He knows mine.

Sounds like you have a great,

meaningful relationship,

but just make him go away.

Ruh... over.

Feel better now?

Not really.

Hey, are you one of

those crazed bikers,

you know, with the crossbows...

Do you have any idea where we are?

The western region.

Oh. Well, that's enlightening.

Would you mind being a

little bit more specific?

Look, is there a telephone

around that I could use

or-- or a 7-eleven even?

Something like that?

7-eleven?

[ squealing ]

Whoa. Your bag's full of rats.

No. These are my ferrets.

This is Kodo and Podo.

They still look like rats to me.

Oh. How was the trip?

Hey, I get it now.

You're with the circus.

We're on a quest.

Sure.

Right.

Well, you know, hey,

I'm on a quest, too.

For gas.

See, my porsche ran out

of gas 10 miles back.

I know Daddy would pay a lot of money

if you'd just help me get back to LA.

You are welcome to join us

on our journey westward.

Perhaps there you will

find the land you seek.

Well, all right.

It's the best offer I've gotten all day.

Hey, is that cat going to come with us?

His name is Ruh.

We travel everywhere together.

Must make it really difficult

checking into a hotel.

Wait a minute.

Hey, wait up, Hercules.

I'm coming.

Hey, if you're not with the circus,

maybe a zoo?

Zoo?

You know, where they keep animals.

The animals are free.

This is their land.

I'm their friend.

OK, OK. Not again.

[ caw ]

[ caw ]

By the way, I'm Jackie Trent.

And you?

Dar.

Dar what?

Dar, do you understand

anything I say to you?

No.

Just like Daddy.

Roots.

Euell Gibbon in a Lioncloth.

Delicious.

It will keep us alive.

No, thanks.

I'll just stick with the salad bar.

You know, that vulture's

been circling above us

for about an hour.

That's no vulture.

That's my eagle.

Magnificent bird.

Sharak!

[ caw ]

A boy and his bird.

How touching.

I send him to scout for me.

He is my eyes.

A seeing-eye bird.

You know, this isn't half

bad when it's cooked.

You really do all right for yourself.

You live off the land,

you get along great with animals.

Totally self-sufficient.

Look, Dar, I have to ask--

were you raiser by wolves or what?

So, Dar, tell me,

what's with you and these animals?

They're the only family I have.

They sure do love you.

What are their names again?

This one's Kodo, and this one's Podo.

Can I hold them?

They're squirmy.

Wait. Which one's Kodo

and which one's Podo?

Guess.

I can't tell the difference.

They're adorable.

Do not be decieved by appearances.

They are both very shrewd thieves.

Thieves?

Mmm. They have cunning

to get me out of very rocky situations.

It looks like they love you, too.

[ growling ]

More of your friends?

Those are the lost hounds.

That's bad, right?

They stalk the night

searching for souls to

drag down into the abyss.

Sounds like a couple of guys

I met in Tijuana last night.

Wait.

Where are you going?

To stand guard with Ruh.

Don't worry. Kodo and Podo

will stay with you.

You will be safe.

I promise.

You'll take care of me, won't you?

Sleep.

I don't know what that

cat has that I don't.

Strange, this newcomer, huh?

What do you think?

Well...

[ squeaking ]

[ squeaking ]

Take the outsider.

The Beastmaster.

Who are those geeks?

[ coughing ]

I can't breathe.

Get him.

We encountered the Beastmaster.

And you let him escape?

Idiot!

Two of my best man are

fast upon his heels, my lord.

Appealing little thing...

in a plain sort of way.

Dar?

Where's Dar?

He rots with his beast.

Do you know where you are?

The Twilight Zone.

Where's rod serling?

You are in a parallel world.

Lord Arklon opened

the dimensional portal

that you came through.

Way rad!

So, uh, listen...

Leatherface...

how do you supposed I get

back through this, uh, portal?

Ha ha ha.

"Leatherface."

I shall be happy to take you

in exchange for certain information.

Information?

Yes.

Hell, I'm loaded with information.

I watch Jeopardy! Every night.

I seek a weapon known as

the neutron detonator.

Neutron detonator.

Yes.

Right.

Well, once we're back in Los Angeles,

I'll get one for you at K-Mart.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes