Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time Page #3

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Beware of treachery, my lord.

Look, Daddy's good friends

with Admiral Benz.

He's the chief of pacific operations.

I'm sure he probably has a warehouse

full of neutron detonators...

somewhere.

[ caw ]

Few people have been foolish enough

to betray me, little one.

Girl scout's honor.

We'll just hop back

through that rabbit hole

and grab a neutron detonator,

and you'll be back by lunch.

Promise.

We go.

The Beastmaster.

No.

I shall kill him with my own hand.

No. Come on. You can kill him

anytime. Our time is limited.

Arklon...

Zavic, Exeter, if you wish

to live, he must die.

Yes, my lord.

Ruh!

Arklon!

Arklon, not now. Time is fleeting.

Brother?

You are the one.

I should have known.

Till death do us part.

Not now, Arklon!

You creep, you're breaking my arm.

You killed your own brother.

No. Not yet.

I merely detained him until

a more propitious moment,

althrough I understand

why he's so hard to kill.

He's from my own blood.

Well, I bet your mom

always liked him best.

You know, I've got friends in this town.

You'll never get away with this.

Lord Arklon can get away with anything.

My sweet little child,

if you value your health,

you'll lead us to the

neutron detonator now.

OK, OK. Lighten up.

Good.

Whoa.

Check out the radical rags, man.

Hey, wow...

Whoa, whoa.

Why are they looking at me like this?

They're digging your royal attire, sire.

Of course.

You got to get yourself

some fresh threads.

See, apparently the suspects

have fired some gas lines.

The guys down here took care of that,

but this jerk won't come out of the alley.

We've tried talking to the guy.

He won't say a thing.

What?

What the hell is that doing here?

Good question.

There are many of them...

and few of us.

We called the zoo biologist.

He has tranquilizer darts.

Did he bring one for Mr. Loincloth?

That's why God invented taser guns.

You know how I feel about tasers.

Look, you try rushing him.

OK, go ahead.

Holy sh*t...

Aah!

Fire the taser!

Well, there you have it, chief.

No muss, no fuss.

What about tabby back there?

The zoo's keeping him.

They're sure he's not

one of theirs, though.

Find out everything you

can about the weirdo.

Have somebody run a query

on all Loincloth freaks.

There can't be that many.

Have the whole thing on

my desk tomorrow morning.

Whoa, uh, chief. Tomorrow's Sunday.

You think this can wait

till Monday, Bendowski?

I hear you.

I thought you would.

Loincloths...

And what can we do to you?

My associates, they're looking

for a more corporate look.

I should say.

Cultural exchange students.

Of course.

Marian?

Yes, Mr. Miller.

Would you help this lady?

Arklon, we must go now.

Today, darling.

Look. Just in from Paris.

It's the rage.

I-- I think we've got

a couple of minutes...

or so.

And, sir, if you will follow me...

Ow!

Where are you going?

I was going to try it on, too.

Can I go look at the skirts?

No.

Can I go to the bath--

Quiet.

room?

Now, sir,

here is something just

screams your name, hmm?

No.

Uh...

Sir--

haven't you anything

more befitting my station?

Sir, I assure you this is

the Finest Virgin Wool.

Virgins.

My dear boy,

from where I come from,

the only thing a virgin is good for

is sacrifice.

Well, I have sacrificed

a few in my time, too.

Ah.

If you were in my kingdom,

I would slit you open

and disembowel you.

You know,

you should really meet

my stress management therapist.

He's done wonders for me.

Um, sir...

if... if--

Uh.

Now, uh, sir...

if you'll just try this on,

I'm sure you'll be quite pleased.

We've had three oil sheiks

and one ethiopian potentate

purchase this exact suit.

Uh, please. Come this

way if you will, please.

This way.

You will stay.

The neutron detonator

itself couldn't move me.

If you will...

What?

Why did she do that?

Oh! What's up?

What did I tell you, sir?

A perfect fit.

And if I may say,

the Phantom of the Opera look

is quite chic.

Where is she?

To whom are you referring, sir?

Where is she?

If you're referring to a woman

whom you arrived with,

I believe she stepped outside.

Shall I wrap this, or would

you like to wear it home?

Aah!

Yes. I think I'm beginning

to like this... LA.

Hey, hey!

Wait a min--

What's going on?

Preston, come back here.

He who defies Arklon

shall be destroyed by Arklon!

Yaa!

Arklon...

you're as subtle as a rabid rhino.

Wendel...

Daddy...

Ah, welcome here, Miss Jackie.

I missed you, too, Wendel.

You were gone so long,

we considered renting out your room.

Oh, Wendel, it's a long story.

For your sake, I hope it's a best-seller.

Your father mentioned something

about disinheriting you.

Then he leaved without even paying.

So we come down and investigate.

Anyway, th-this guy aims

this, um, laser thing

at the front of the store--

you know how that can happen?

And then before we know it,

everything's destroyed.

What you're trying to

tell me, Bendowski,

is that there's some

stranger running around

with a laser beam blowing

brassieres off mannequins.

Yeah, I-- I mean, I can see your point.

I-- I hear you.

Well, I'm out of here.

Yeah.

No, I-- I know what you mean.

OK. Back to square one.

What's your name?

You Tarzan...

Me Coberly.

Get it?

Your name.

What is with you people?

Haven't you seen Tarzan before?

Get back to work!

OK. Let's continue.

Arklon.

I must find him.

That's one bad dude.

He's evil.

Uh-huh. Sit down.

Sit.

Well, your pal here

busted up a clothing store,

and the owner is pretty pissed.

Mr. Melwyn, the city

cannot reimburse you.

You know what I don't understand?

How come a clean-cut

jungle boy like you

is hanging out with a creep like this?

[ squeaking ]

OK, but your little friends and

you are going to stay here

until you tell me what I want to know.

Sergeant!

I know how traumatic a

broken window can be.

How do I know?

Sarge!

Get him!

Trust me. I know.

[ honking ]

Come on! Get in!

I don't believe this!

It's your fault, Bendowski!

Me?

Yes, you! Go get him.

Slap leg irons on him.

People, get back to work... now!

I found you!

I can't believe it.

You're safe?

We're not safe

until I do something with you.

Where's Arklon?

Probably on the cover of GQ by now.

Who knows?

He's dangerous. We must find him.

Where are we?

Dar, we're in my world.

From what I can tell,

it's a parallel world to yours,

only we have more smog.

This is Los Angeles--

LA.

LA?

Largest city in California.

Most awesome place in the universe.

This carriage--

it moves without horsepower.

I told Daddy to get this tuned up.

He never listens to me.

[ tires screech ]

A**hole!

A**hole?

A**hole.

A**hole!

[ radio plays ]

Whoo!

That's rock 'n' roll, baby.

Rock 'n' roll.

# What ya doin'... #

It does remind me of an earthquake.

That's right.

It shakes you right

out of your boredom.

# You haven't, haven't

even heard a word #

# My mouth is so dry,

I can hardly speak #

# My head is spinning,

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