Beat the Devil Page #8

an officer in the Royal Marines.

If he ever was.

In point of fact,

not only was he an officer,

but he once won a medal

for jumping into a sea

of fire to rescue someone.

It was only a bit of wreckage

and not a man,

but that wasn't

Harry's fault.

Just a slight error

in judgment.

The lights. They come on.

He must have fixed it.

Impossible.

The engines are turning.

We're under way.

I still say it's impossible.

Uh, ladies and, uh, gentlemen,

may I have your attention

for a moment.

I'm happy to inform you

that the oil pump

is now in perfect

working condition.

Putting it right

was no great accomplishment

for anyone with

the slightest mechanical bent.

Anyhow, we may now proceed

without further delay

and in absolute safety.

Oh, Harry, you did, you did,

you foozled it.

The pig who wrecked the ship!

Where is he?!

I'll tear out his gizzard!

Mr. Chelm, forward, please.

The captain wants to see you.

There you are. You devil.

You wreck my beautiful ship!

Nothing of the sort.

Some scalawag down there

sabotaged my work

out of pure malice!

You explode my engine! I break

your bones, I kill you!

Keep your heads, boys. Let's

behave like little gentlemen.

Stay out of this, Dannreuther.

I can handle the brute.

Let me at him.

What happens now?

Do we get the life belts?

Do we abandon the ship?

There's no immediate danger.

The passengers will please

to return to the saloon.

We are heading for the nearest

port and there seems to be

some chance of our making it.

Great. Let's go.

Come along.

Now, who was last down?

Blast.

Billy-Boy, be a good fellow

and make a fourth for Bridge.

The major has no head

for cards.

A few rubbers

will soothe all our nerves.

No, thank you.

I'll soothe mine

with a double Scotch.

In fact, I think

I'll make it a triple.

No ice, no water.

Right, sir.

How about you,

Mrs. Dannreuther?

A little Bridge?

Oh, so sorry.

I have the most

fearful headache.

I think

I'll go to my cabin.

Oh, what a shame.

Well, boys, we'll have

to make it cutthroat.

What about Harry, here?

Maybe he'll take a hand.

That, under the circumstances,

is a most unsuitable suggestion.

Gwendolen, I must ask you

to either move to another table

or else leave the saloon.

Oh, Harry, for heaven's sake.

I don't care for my wife

to associate

with an associate of criminals.

Don't be absurd.

Billy's not a criminal.

He's the best friend

we have on this boat.

Well, we are not in need

of such friends.

You need any friends

you can get.

The only thing

standing between you

and a watery grave

is your wits,

and that's not my idea

of adequate protection.

Purser, how much longer

before this ship reaches port?

If we ever do get to port,

it should be

within 14 or 15 hours.

That's a long time.

Sit down,

make yourself comfortable.

Have a drink.

Enjoy the major's

piano recital.

Come on, Peterson,

buy us a drink.

I'm afraid I can't accept

hospitality from persons who

I intend in a few hours time to

denounce in a place of justice.

Two spades.

I admire your sang-froid,

Mr. Peterson,

or perhaps you don't think

I'm serious.

We shall see.

Three clubs.

Gwendolen, are you going

to do as I say?

Not when you speak to me

in that tone.

Not when you try

to order me about.

In that case...

Where are you going?

On deck, where the air

is less polluted.

Purser. Four tonics.

I think you'd better

go after Harry.

Why should I?

If he's going to be

so childish and unreasonable.

Take my advice. Go to him.

Stay with him.

I suppose you think

we should keep up appearances.

The loyal wife

at her husband's side.

No, Billy.

I'm experiencing something

that is rare and beautiful.

And I shall not deny it,

either by word or by deed.

I love you.

Let the whole world know it.

I love you. I love you.

Well, keeping up appearances

isn't exactly what I meant.

Then why do you want to send me

tagging after Harry?

He's being such

a deadly bore tonight.

Deadly, but not dead.

Not yet.

What do you mean?

They killed one man

just because

they thought he might try

to get in their way.

Now handsome Harry here

is threatening

to blow the whole thing

wide open.

- They killed a man?

- Uh-huh.

Really. Who?

Oh, just a man.

Well, for all Harry's

being too, too tiresome

and my loving you

to distraction,

I- I still wouldn't want

to see him done in.

He has some perfectly darling

traits, really.

I mean, like always

remembering one's birthday.

No, we simply mustn't

let anybody murder Harry.

Then keep him in your cabin.

Never let him out of your sight.

Keep him under lock and key.

Oh, Billy.

That awful music.

It's so loud.

It comes right into our cabin.

Peterson, tell the major

to soft-pedal it.

And while he's about it,

he might change the tune.

Oh, don't you like it?

It's one of my favorites.

I'm afraid he doesn't know

any others.

Do you, Jack?

Major.

Do I hear a lady screaming?

One down.

Captain, captain!

What happened?

Oh, Billy, all that screaming.

I thought someone

had been killed.

Well, someone nearly was.

Indeed they were.

Look at the major.

Better get a new act.

The curtain's going down

on this one.

Every time I turn my back,

someone makes trouble.

They break the engine.

They beat each other with fists.

They throw each other overboard.

That man attacked me.

Ah, you. You again!

If I struck him,

it was in self-defense.

He came sneaking up behind me

and tried to run me through.

Is that true?!

Well...

It's no use, Billy,

my trying to protect Harry

any further.

I may as well tell

the whole truth.

Captain, it- It grieves me

to confess this,

but in point of fact, my husband

has an illness of the mind.

The medical word for it

is paranoia.

On occasion, he displays

homicidal tendencies.

The psychiatrists say

it's because he-

He believes people

are plotting against him,

and so he strikes back

and tries to kill them.

Gwendolen,

for heaven's sake, woman.

What's the meaning

of this treachery?

Believe it or not, Harry,

I'm doing it for your own good.

He knows.

He saved my life.

He'll tell the truth.

I wouldn't

contradict the lady.

You wreck my ship!

You try to kill the passengers.

Caruso!

But I'm the only sane person

on this ship!

That's why you're all

against me.

Let me go!

I'll kill the lot of you.

I warn you, captain!

Poor Harry,

it's awfully sad.

We've tried everything

to cure him.

How dare you lay hands on me!

You hooligans!

I'll have you put in irons.

You'll be the ones in irons.

Good, good.

We'll have

no more trouble from you.

Scum! Mongrels!

I'll bring you to book,

every one of you.

Every man jack of you!

After all,

it was the only solution.

Harry's safely locked

in his cabin,

where those beastly men

can't do him any harm.

On the other hand,

he can't say or do anything now

to interfere with your making

that fortune in Africa.

I- I mean, the authorities

would hardly listen

to the ravings of a lunatic,

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes