Beat the Devil Page #9

would they?

Well, they won't even

let him off the boat.

Well, in that case,

he'll just have to stay

shut up for a few weeks.

A bit hard on the old boy,

don't you think?

Yes, but after you've amassed

all those African millions,

we'll make it up to him.

We'll buy him a country place

in Gloucestershire with-

With some rough shooting and-

And a trout stream,

like he's always wanted.

Maria will marry him,

perhaps.

She seems to have

a very real feeling

for English country life.

And everybody lives

happily ever after.

Especially us, Billy.

Boat stations, everyone.

Prepare to abandon ship.

What's going on?

I believe, sir,

that we are sinking.

Boat stations, everybody.

We're sinking.

Harry, Harry.

Open the door.

You must.

The ship's sinking.

Here, get back.

We simply can't leave

without finding out

what's happened to Harry.

Maybe we'll run across him

out there.

He's a strong swimmer,

isn't he?

Do you really think we-?

I don't say we will.

But it's possible.

Anything's possible.

Harry!

Harry!

Where do you suppose we are?

Africa.

What part of Africa?

Yes, that's important.

What part?

Not a bad place to land.

No customs.

No forms to fill out.

Tell us at once where we are.

It's important I know.

You mean to say there are parts

of the dark continent

where you won't be received

like the prodigal son?

Arlio.

What's that?

Arlio.

Better get down,

everybody.

Mamma mia, Arabs.

Oh, mamma mia.

Get rid

of your passports, boys.

Mrs. Chelm, Billy-Boy,

my identity must remain

a secret.

Arlio, what's that?

It was the company who sold arms

to the Arab Legions.

Wait a minute.

That rings a bell.

Some of the equipment

we sold them was defective.

Been too long under the water

in the Gulf of Leyte.

The Arabs claim

they lost the war

because of rusty guns

and dud ammunition.

For heaven's sake, be quiet.

If you go on like that,

I'll be-

I'll see you

drawn and quartered.

Are you going to allow them

to bully you in this way?

Why, i-it's simply-

Shocking.

Harry wouldn't have

let them do it.

He had a sense of dignity.

I have a sense of survival.

Billy, what is going

to happen?

Do you think

they will torture us?

Just let them try it.

I'm a British subject.

I wouldn't say it too loud.

We shipwreck.

Big boat go down bottom ocean.

We take little boat.

Row all day.

Row all night.

Savvy?

There's only one way

to deal with these swine.

Walk up and kick them

in the belly.

Show 'em who's boss

right away.

We sight land.

Your land.

Praise Allah.

Come ashore.

Suddenly, boom, boom, boom.

No good way

treat shipwrecked people.

You will please

to hand over your passports.

There seem to be four missing.

Will those who have not

handed over their passports

hold up their hands?

All left on board ship,

Your Excellency.

A terrifying experience.

An incompetent crew.

A burning ship.

Put overboard in a small boat

at dead of night.

What was the name

of the vessel?

The S.S. Nyanga.

She's a Portuguese ship.

I will investigate

whether such a ship

has been reported

lost at sea.

Well, does it stand to reason,

Your Excellency,

we should come to this shore

in a small boat

if we'd not been shipwrecked?

Our country is

in a state of unrest.

Oh, I am sorry.

Agents of certain

foreign governments

sometimes try

to enter it by stealth-

Tsk-tsk.

- hoping to fan the flames

of revolution.

Therefore, we check carefully

on the activities of strangers.

But surely, Your Excellency,

in our case,

one look is sufficient to

convince you of our innocence.

No.

One look is not enough.

If you think we're

the enemies of your country,

the logical thing

is to boot us out.

Send us packing by the first

available boat or train.

We shan't object.

We've got important business

elsewhere.

Where is elsewhere?

Central Africa.

And what sort of business?

Vacuum cleaners.

Sewing machines.

Ah, yes.

Businessmen.

All going to Central Africa

to sell vacuum cleaners.

Yes.

Hut to hut, I suppose.

And you, sir,

I take it,

are the head salesman.

The ringleader of this group.

Oh, no. No group.

We met for the first time

onboard ship.

Complete strangers

to one another.

Liar!

The others all look at you

each time I ask a question.

I am a keen observer.

You four are together.

Oh, no, my fat-gutted friend.

I am not the illiterate,

simple-minded native

you are fool enough

to take me for.

I am a great man.

A serious man.

I spit on you.

Phew.

I spit on you

and all your lies.

Off to the wrong start,

Peterson.

There's only one way

to deal with these swine.

Swine, swine, swine!

You'd better be careful.

My husband, my late husband,

who was drowned

in the Nyanga disaster,

happened to be one

of the most important figures

in the British government.

Sir Harry Chelm.

In point of fact,

we had letters

from the prime minister

and the queen

telling everybody

to be particularly courteous

to us and our friends.

So you see, if any harm

befalls us at your hands,

it will become

a major international incident.

Would you instruct that one,

that in my country,

a female's lips may move,

but her words are not heard.

Oh, Harry, Harry...

if only you were here.

And now, sir, you will

stop abusing my intelligence

and tell me who you really are

and what is your actual purpose

in being here.

I'm a sick man.

I've got a bad heart.

I mustn't talk any more.

You refuse to answer.

That is interesting.

It makes of it

a contest.

A contest in a game

at which we excel.

We of this country have had

in asking questions

and getting answers.

Who are you?

Why are you here?

Don't hit me again.

My heart,

I'll have an attack.

Of course, Billy's lead

a thoroughly decadent life.

I must say, I thought

he had more backbone than that.

Backbone, hm, either you have it

or you haven't.

Did you see

the beating I took

at the hands of that great ugly

brute without even flinching?

Billy was crazed with fear

before they'd even

laid a finger on him.

Tell me more

about Rita Hayworth.

You really know her very well?

Do I know Rita?

Do I know her.

I'll give you

a letter of introduction.

She'll fall an immediate victim

to your charms.

You really think so?

Oh, but certainly.

A man like you:

suave, intelligent,

darkly handsome.

You have everything, Ahmed,

except money.

And if you listen to me, a boat

will be placed at our disposal.

A very slow boat.

So that fat gut's check will

have plenty of time to clear.

And you will trust me

for your share?

Does one man of the world

ask another

to trust his own brother?

Oh, no, Ahmed.

You'll give me a check for half.

Your demands are very great

under the circumstances.

Well, why shouldn't

they be?

Fat gut's my best friend.

I will not betray him cheaply.

You are certain that you are

the friend of the peerless Rita?

Come, come, Ahmed,

mind back to business.

Very well.

Fifty-fifty.

Oh, uh,

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