Beautiful

---

Judgment day.

For the 15 American beauty finalists...

seeking the coveted

national beauty title...

it's the long-awaited moment.

We'd say they all

look like prize winners.

Picked from entries representing

practically every state in the union...

they're the cream of the crop.

And, of course, a good deal

of this credit goes to my mother.

How long till they're straight?

You'll have beautiful teeth

by your 16th birthday.

Just in time for Junior Miss.

So how are you going

to be paying for this?

Cash. Monthly.

Ten...

30...

50--

- Where you been?

- Out.

Answer your mother.

Out.

Don't you be a smart-ass.

Lurdy, she's my kid, not yours.

As long as she's living under my roof,

she ain't gonna talk to me that way.

Your roof? You ain't got a roof.

This is my roof.

Where you going?

To work.

- You want some pizza?

- That's my pizza.

So do you want some pizza?

Knock first!

Mona, don't aggravate me.

I got a headache.

When the "do not enter"sign is up,

you knock first.

Do you want something

to eat or not?

I want you to knock first.

Can I come in?

Hi! My name is Ramona--

Hello. My name is Ramona Hibbard,

but my--

Hello. My name is Ramona Hibbard,

but my friends call me Mona.

I'm the owner of MND.

Mona's Neighborhood Deliveries.

I have a variety of household items

you may need...

but don't have enough time to go

all the way to the store to buy.

In laundry detergent,

I can offer you Fab or Tide.

Here's my card. Here's my card.

Here's my card.

You want

a five percent discount now?

No. Gerald over at Piggly-Wiggly told me

he'd give me a five percent discount.

It's ten to you.

I can't do that.

Nice doing business with you.

Hold on. Wait a minute.

All right. There you are.

There you go.

Thanks.

Why, how generous...

and completely unexpected.

Thank you, ma'am.

I'll see you soon.

And the winner...

of the Little Miss Starlet

fashion model contest...

12 to 14 age division is...

Autumn Meadowbrook!

And that concludes

the fourth annual Verna Chickles...

Little Miss Starlet

fashion model contest.

I want to thank you all

for coming today...

and thank you

for being so beautiful!

Where have you been?

I was feeling a little sick, so

I went and got myself a drink. Let's go.

Look what I won, Mama.

Look what I won.

You won?

"Participant"?

You didn't win.

You bought this with whatever

you paid to get in this thing.

- What did you pay?

- $135 registration fee.

$135 for that. Come on.

Get your bags.

Let's go. Come on.

Don't ask me to drive you

to any more of these things.

I'll pay for the gas.

I don't need you to pay for my gas.

I don't need you either!

I can ride my bike.

You're aggravating me, and I got

a headache. Let's get out of here.

Hurry up.

Go on. Go on.

Wait! Sh*t!

Wait! Wait!

- All right, listen to me!

- I was in the wrong room!

If he tries that bullshit again,

I'll kill him!

And I'll turn you in

for not protecting me!

I'll go live with a foster family

while you rot in jail!

Got that?

Nedra, don't believe the brat.

I went into the wrong room.

I was looking for the bathroom.

She's a lying brat.

Mona Hibbard, Miss Illinois...

is your new Miss American Miss!

Mona, honey, I don't know why

you haven't won any pageants.

It's not just that I haven't won.

After 18 pageants,

I haven't even made it into the top 20.

It's the wardrobe, isn't it?

I'm gonna tell you a little secret.

I have started a modeling academy

for the most promising young ladies.

A little basic training, and

you will be winning pageants in no time.

How would you like to pay for that?

Cash. Monthly.

- And it's Hibbitt.

- Hibbard.

- Mona?

- Mona, yes.

Of course.

Elbow, elbow,

wrist, wrist, wrist.

Elbow, elbow, wrist, wrist, wrist.

Very good, very good.

All right.

Now, ladies, let's move on.

Today I'd like to introduce you...

to the step, pivot,

turn around, head snap.

All right?

Now, watch me very carefully.

All right, now...

one little step.

Eye contact, eye contact.

Turn your body slowly.

At the last moment, snap.

Now, remember that, ladies.

All right, your turn.

One little step forward...

keeping your eyes

on your audience.

Turn your body slowly.

Very good. Eye contact here.

All right, now, then, snap.

Very good.

Let's try it moving.

If your eyes are not on them,

their eyes will not be on you.

Move over, Scumona.

Sorry.

Sweet Jesus.

It's in the details

where we see true craftsmanship.

Thank you, dear.

The school assembly

has been canceled.

We're going to have to share

our pinking shears.

Don't sit here.

Go sit with your girlfriend

and get cooties.

Go sit by your girlfriend!

I'm not going to let her sit here!

- Girl!

- You're a girl!

- That's cold!

- Oh, man!

Damn. You guys made me

spill my lemonade.

Jason, Eric, Richard,

you've got cleanup. Get over here.

- We didn't do it!

- I don't want to hear it.

Inside now.

Go, go, go.

I hate lunch.

Me too.

I'm in your home ec class.

I'm Mona.

Ruby.

Where'd you learn to sew so good?

My grandma.

I don't have a lemonade to give you,

but do you want my orange?

I'm on a diet.

Well, whatever I've got, it's yours.

And the winner for

the most unique pageant outfit...

And the winner for

the most unique pageant outfit...

12 to 14 division...

Mona Hibbard!

Yes!

Grandma!

Grandma, we won! Grandma!

Hello, sweetheart.

- I can't believe it. We won!

- Did you now?

Yeah. I'll take your bag in.

- Come on in.

- Hello, Mrs. Stillwell.

I'm just as pretty and

talented as the girls who win.

The problem is my outfits.

So you won. Isn't that nice?

The title, no.

My outfit won, Grandma!

Yes, but I was wearing it.

Isn't that nice?

I can pay you $25 for each dress.

Oh, my, look at you.

I can also get you certain

supermarket clearance items.

You just worry about paying

for the fabric.

How come you're being so nice to me?

You hardly know me.

Must be your looks.

It's hard to say no to someone

as beautiful as you.

You go wash up for dinner.

- How much time do we have?

- The show starts in 20 minutes.

I wish we could watch it at my place.

- But you don't have a TV.

- I know.

Come on. It'll be fine.

Where do we stop next?

The Millers, then the Stewarts.

Then the fashion complex.

- They're just two seconds from my house.

- Just two seconds.

All right.

The Miss American Miss contest

is not gonna start without me!

Come on, Ruby. Come on.

- Mona?

- Come on. It's okay.

All I'm saying is you got to get out

of that chair and find a job.

I'm working on this here motor!

- What smells?

- What doesn't?

You've been working

on that thing for two years!

I'd be done

if you'd stay off my ass!

Get the money box.

Hold on. Wait!

- Wow. You've got a lot.

- Yeah, I know. We're gonna need it.

I've got my booklets.

I've got the clippings.

Come on. Let's go.

Hurry up. What are you doing?

We're going to miss the opening.

Okay, let's go.

And here they are, the beautiful

1986 Miss American Miss contestants.

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