Because I Said So Page #5

but you know what I mean.

Who wants to live

in all that concrete?

And yet, you know, the Zen of clean

minds, that kind of Asian simplicity,

living without

all the clutter, is great.

This view is amazing.

My mom would love this view.

Oh, yeah?

Does she have good taste?

Lmpeccable.

Now I know that this is

the part of the evening

where I'm supposed to sit

way over here in this chair.

But can I jump five spaces

and pass "Go"?

Well, "can" implies

"are you capable. "

"May" asks the question.

Milly, may I?

Yes, you may.

Milly, may I kiss you?

I'm sorry. Could you hold

that thought for a second?

I have to, like...

What?

Well, I just got that new conference call

feature, so we thought we'd try it out.

New?

Hey, Milly.

Hi, how's it going?

Yes. He's a great kisser.

Wonderful. Isn't that great, girls? Yeah.

That's so much better than...

Remember that Ted guy?

He seemed to have

a lot of potential,

then he ended up having, like, lizard tongue.

Oh, yeah.

And as I remember,

an over-intake of Mentos

which didn't cover

the buffalo wing breath.

That's disgusting, Mae.

Though, as I recall,

those kisses bombed upstairs,

but had a certain finesse

downstairs.

I remember that.

Yes, downstairs and...

I don't want to hear it.

Guys, all right, I gotta

go kiss. I gotta go kiss.

Okay, I gotta go too.

No.

Me three.

Bye.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Feels good.

Yeah.

Hello?

Hello?

Mom?

No.

Are you there?

Okay.

Mom?

What, honey?

Mom?

Are you okay?

What, honey?

No, yeah. I'm fine.

No, wait. Mom,

what's that sound?

Well, Cooper's in heat.

Good night.

Cooper's a boy. Mom?

He wants potato pancakes

in the shape of footballs

with Gandalf's face

on them in sour cream.

We can do that.

You start, though.

Hello.

Hi. Wow.

Lionel helped picked these.

He wanted you to know.

Oh, my gosh. Thank you so

much. Lionel, they're beautiful.

And you know what? You can

actually eat these flowers.

They're really good in salads.

Although, when I was your age,

I didn't like anything green.

And now I've learned to love

spinach... Now if she could just stop talking

for five seconds.

... Brussels sprouts, broccoli.

Oh, I got it,

I got it, I got it.

No, we'll get it.

I got it.

Hey, Lionel, come on, you wanna

help us eat the centerpiece?

Can I, Dad?

Yeah, yeah.

Go ahead. Go crazy.

Bye.

If you don't, I will.

There was a lot going on

the other night.

And I didn't get to tell you about

Lionel's unique rhythm and I'm sorry...

Oh, gosh, no, it's fine. I

actually feel a kinship with him.

You know he can't stop running

around and I can't stop talking.

I kind of think you're gonna

have your hands full.

They said it couldn't be done,

but I did it.

How was your date with the...

Oh, my gosh, Mom...

Mom, this is Johnny. Johnny,

this is my mom, Daphne.

Hi. Oh.

Oh!

Lionel. Johnny's son.

John, is it?

Lionel. Come on, buddy.

Uh-huh.

Lionel, come on here now.

Pardon me.

Johnny. That's Johnny.

Lionel, that's so cute.

Oh, my gosh. Oh, Mom.

The delivery man's here.

Is this menorah-esque?

Mom, I don't even know

if this is good.

Find something Hobbit-like. I

don't have anything Hobbit-like.

We should try

and make this work, though.

They're never gonna never know

it's from Gelson's.

Oh, wait, wait.

I used this for Jason's party.

Jason has such

nice eyes. Okay.

Thank you.

Happy Bar Mitzvah,

Josh Greenberg.

How do you know Jason has

such nice eyes?

Does he? Oh, that's so sweet. He

seems like a very special person.

What if we try that new vase

on the coffee table?

He is nice. But actually, they both

are. Oh, I'm sure they both are.

But in terms of who you

wanna get serious with,

that Johnny, at least from what I can

see, can't even get his life together.

But I'm gonna stop, all right?

You know what's wrong?

The couch is

in the wrong place. Look.

I got an idea.

Okay.

So we'll move the couch. Which

way? Let's move it this way.

Here we go.

That's so good. Okay, there

we go. I think it's good.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, my God, look at that.

It's so great. It, like,

completely opens the room up.

So very, very, very good.

I love it.

The only thing is... Can

I just say this? What?

We haven't tried the couch by

the window. I think we should.

All right. I don't even know if

I see it here. Okay. Oh, gosh.

Just a second. Hello?

You have the wrong number.

Yeah. There is no J. Bond here.

FYI, the Eagle has landed.

Yeah, the hen is in the house. Repeat,

the hen is in the house. Right now.

All right, honey?

Mil, if we push this

five inches to the left,

I swear it's gonna

transform your life.

You really think so?

I wouldn't lie to you.

All right.

Come on, let's go.

Okay, on three.

Yeah.

One, two, three.

Hey, it's Milly, leave me

a message. This way. Mom?

Hey, Milly. It's Jason.

I was thinking about you

and I wanted to say what...

Pick it up. Answer it.

Does he sound wonderful or what?

Why don't you wanna talk to him?

I do wanna talk to him. I just don't

wanna do it in front of you, all right?

Come on, Milly,

I mean I don't...

I got us tickets to the Music

Center Friday night for La Bohme.

La Bohme. Oh, come on,

sweetie, I love La Bohme.

Just pick up the phone. Mom,

I don't want to talk to him.

It's a really interesting production...

Mil, Mil, pick up the phone.

Mom, stop. No, no, no,

don't pick up the phone.

Here, take it. Say yes.

Stop, stop.

Hi.

Yeah, I'm great.

Oh, great. Yeah, okay.

Mmm-hmm.

That sounds really great.

Great.

Yeah, great. Okay.

All right.

Okay, I'll talk to you soon.

Okay, great. Bye.

He obviously adores you.

You think so?

Oh, God, and who wouldn't?

But, hon, are you aware of how many

times you used the word "great"?

These candlesticks gotta go.

No, no, no. I like them.

They're staying. They're great.

Milly, you know how much I hate to

meddle, but I once had the choice

between a mature, responsible

young man like Jason,

and your father, who, of

course, I was infatuated with.

And to this day...

Okay, okay.

You know what?

To be fair, you're reading a lot into

a guy that you've met for ten minutes.

Truth be told, that Johnny has

heartbreak written all over his face.

No, no, no. Truth be told, you

know absolutely nothing about him.

And know what, Mom? I gotta go

'cause I'm getting my bangs cut.

What?

No, no, you go ahead.

No, that's okay, you go ahead.

Yes.

Fine.

Cut your bangs and quit

hiding your incredible eyes.

To be truthful, you know nothing

about him. He's actually a good parent.

Hiding your incredible eyes.

I can't do this.

Milly, I love you and you may be

brilliant, but you're not smart.

I just want you to

have a full, beautiful life.

Do I not have a life, Mom?

Because I thought I had a life.

No. No, you have a career,

you have a car

and you have a loft

you pay way too much rent for.

That's not a life.

Milly, I'm your mother. I love

you enough to tell you the truth.

Your version of the truth, Mom. No. No.

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