Becks

---

- [music begins]

- [clapping, whistling]

I have nothing to ask of you.

I'm not the wheel.

I want...

emotion.

The valley.

The architect.

I can't feel the ocean.

Millions of people

Millions of people try

To see

The uncanny valley

I'm sorry

I have nothing

to show to you

My heart

My wind

My ocean

It's my agent. Hello?

I'm going to LA!

They said they watched my tape.

They loved my performance,

my song,

and they want me in LA

on Monday.

You have to come with me.

This is like our moment,

you know?

Millions of people

BECKS:
I'm not an LA person.

Just keep saying that,

and you'll fit right in.

BECKS:
What am I gonna do

for two weeks without you?

- I love you.

- Bye, babe.

See you there!

The uncanny valley

BECKS:
Hi, honey.

I broke the lease.

We are officially not getting

our security deposit back.

The landlord was a dick.

But oh, well.

Um, I'm hitting the road.

I can't wait to see you.

I miss you.

My heart

My wind, my ocean

LUCY:
Hey, babe. The new

apartment is ridiculous.

You can't overthrow

I can see the beach

from our window.

- Love you.

- Que sera, sera

Millions of people

Millions of people try

To see

The uncanny valley

LUCY:
Hold on.

Hey.

Hi. Oh, my God.

I thought you were

coming tomorrow.

Well, I'm here.

Surprise.

Is that the weed guy?

Oh, you're not the weed guy.

No, I'm not the weed guy.

I'm the girlfriend guy.

I'm the drove-across-the-f***ing

country-to-get-here guy.

Yeah

Ooh

[arguing]

I just want you

in my entire life.

- Don't f***ing touch me.

- No, okay, I didn't mean to.

I'm outta here.

Oh, my God.

WOMAN ON RADIO:

Financial assistance,

including the regions of the

only assured IBF program, ARCH.

You do not need a referral

to be seen regarding your...

WOMAN:
Entertainment twin.

Earlier this morning

we talked a lot about...

MAN:
So do I, but I've been

rejected so many times.

WOMAN:
She fell in love with

her first husband on set...

[car door closes]

I just... I quit my job,

and I sold all my stuff,

and I drove all the way

across the country

just because she wanted to be

on a stupid singing competition.

Well, I never trusted her.

Too much eyeliner means she's

hiding something, obviously,

and all that money

from her parents...

Mom, you didn't like her

because she was a "her."

ANN:
Excuse me very much.

I'll have you know that I went

to the Gay Festival this year.

- Gay Pride.

- Gay Pride Festival,

and I wore a T-shirt

with a rainbow,

and I danced with

a lovely man in four-inch heels.

Hey, listen, I don't care

if you want to date

a person who's a man

or a woman

or a woman who wants

to be a pans...

pan-gen-pansexual...

Okay, Mom, I get it.

Don't hurt yourself.

I'm going to go crash.

Hey, hey, come here.

My baby girl, wait, wait, wait.

You are bright and talented

and smart and beautiful,

and you deserve to have

a loving and supportive woman.

Thank you, Mom.

[guitar]

["Fur Elise"]

[TV playing game show]

Where have you been?

Walking with my women's group.

You should join us sometime.

I think you and I have different

definitions of "women's group."

Very funny.

Hello.

Okay, that's it.

Mom, it's

the showcase showdown.

Honey, you have been sitting

on this couch for two weeks.

I've done your laundry,

I've made your food,

and if I hear that

"Two Hands" song...

- "Both Hands."

- "Both Hands" one more time,

- I'm gonna jump off a bridge.

- Mom!

I'm not saying

you have to pay rent.

Just get out of the house

and do something with yourself.

And no more junk TV.

[sighs]

[guitar]

[vocalizing]

You got caught

You got caught

Now your hands are tied

Oh, you fought

How you fought

People, they got wise

Hear them whisper

in the floor

If only you could see them

But you got caught

MAN:
Well, well, well.

[laughs]

Look at what the sad gay cat

dragged in.

Ah!

- Becks the Wreck.

- Oh, f*** you, man.

I haven't been called that

since I was 17.

How you doin', kiddo?

Well, I am single,

and I'm broke,

and I'm back home

living with my mom.

I'm sorry.

I'm a billionaire playboy

who sleeps on a bed of titties

every night.

[laughs]

Yes, please.

Um, but you named your bar

Perfectos?

Yes. That's what the Cards

were called

before they were the Cards.

It's like St. Louis history.

Hello.

It sounds like the shittiest

taco truck in Sacramento.

Ohh...

I missed you.

I missed you too.

To success beyond

our wildest dreams.

Gene, you need anything?

Eugene?

He's basically dead.

- You wanna, mm-hmm?

- Yeah.

I don't know

what I was thinking.

She was gonna be a big celebrity

or something.

Ugh. She's an idiot.

A very hot idiot though.

- Best tits on earth.

- Oh?

How best?

Like on a scale

of Aniston to Upton.

A solid Johansson.

- F***!

- Yeah.

Damn.

I should've known that

my tiny high school dong

could never measure up

to a pair of Johannsons.

- Scarlet Johannson?

- Yeah, yeah.

Scarlet Johannson.

Oh, it had nothing to do

with your dick, Dave,

and everything to do

with my vagina.

My dick understands you.

[chuckles]

It doesn't matter anyway.

The tits have moved on to a

younger, hotter LA set of tits,

and I have officially become

one of these people.

Oh, no.

- Yeah.

- Oh, no.

I know.

Can I put one up in here?

I guess.

[laughing]

I mean, yeah.

- Why don't you play here?

- Really?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean,

it ain't the Pageant, you know,

but we get a decent crowd

on the weekends.

Yeah?

Okay, yeah.

[guitar]

Wow. Look at this.

And I cleaned out the fridge,

and I fixed the sink.

And check it out.

Um, I'll fix that later.

So how was your day?

Oh, okay, well,

after church,

we had a girls' lunch

at The Cheesecake Factory.

I got the salmon,

which they say is a diet item,

but the portions

are just ginormous.

Here. You can have it.

And, um, let's see,

Donna had the roast chicken,

which I thought

was a little dry.

And Sue also had the salmon.

Wow, Mom, what did everyone

have to drink?

I think everyone

had iced tea, but, uh...

Never mind.

Anyway, Sue Cunningham

sends her regards.

- Who?

- Mitchell Cunningham's mom.

You know, from high school.

- Mitch the B*tch?

- Rebecca!

Ew!

I can still picture him

threatening freshmen

from the front seat

of his Jeep Wrangler.

Well, he's turned into

a lovely young man.

Maybe we can all

have dinner sometime.

- Yeah, that's not gonna happen.

- Maybe you'll change your mind.

Oh, oh, oh, I almost forgot.

They have a sale at Aerosoles,

and I like their comfort line,

so I got myself a pair,

40% off.

- That's great, Mom.

- Do you want some money?

There was a cute one...

Thank you for the food.

I'm starving.

I'm going to go eat this

in my room, if you don't mind.

[guitar]

Hey, you sure you don't want

a mic or like a makeshift stage?

I'll put up some boxes.

Not if it's further

from the bar.

How about this crowd, huh?

[laughs]

Yeah.

What you got going on

down there?

- Hey, Gene.

- Hi.

Listen up, folks, we got

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