Becks Page #2

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some music for you tonight.

[Gene groans]

Be nice.

That's Gene.

He eats most of his meals here,

and he's usually drunk by 5:30.

Nice.

Nice. So you want a drink?

Ah, yes, please.

Something that'll make this

feel less like this.

- Whiskey.

- Yeah.

Uh, hey, everyone, I'm Becks.

I'm really good friends

with Dave over here.

Actually, Dave was the first guy

I ever slept with

and the last.

Anyway, it had nothing

to do with Dave.

I'm sure he's

a fantastic lay now.

I am.

But sometimes you just

gotta taste the sausage

before you realize

you're a vegan.

This is going really well,

isn't it?

Oh, you are killing it.

Uh, Gene,

you look like you're the only

person paying attention,

so this song is for you.

Your tattoo on my pillow

Your footsteps hold the beat

A scarlet letter sidewalk

A heartbreak on repeat

But she's going home

She's going home

She's leaving

Hear the traffic

through the window

And two strangers

on the street

A scarlet letter sidewalk

A heartbreak on repeat

But she's going home

She's going home

She's leaving

She's leaving

- Yeah.

- [Gene whistles]

- Yeah!

- [applause]

DAVE:
Come on! Come on!

Yeah!

Listen up.

This is a tip jar.

Pass it around.

Put some money in it.

Let her pay for her drinks,

God forbid.

Thanks.

Damn, girl,

you can really sing now.

Thanks, dude.

Hey, was that guy who came in,

was that Mitch Cunningham?

Yes. He's cool now.

That a**hole, he outted me

at prom, remember?

He got on stage,

he took the DJ mic

and he told everyone

I was the vale-dyke-torian.

[laughs]

Oh, yeah!

I remember that now.

And I was trying so hard to

get in your panties all night.

What the f***

is wrong with me?

I don't know.

But his mom and my mom

are now friends.

This town is way too small.

Yeah, well,

people change, okay?

You understand this concept...

- of people changing.

- [laughs]

He's mellow now, man.

He put money into this place,

so be chill.

Figures.

Mitch the B*tch

is now Mitch the Rich.

Wow. If the singing

doesn't work

you can write, like,

really mean children's books.

Holy sh*t.

There's like 35 bucks here.

Okay, Rain Man.

I'm used to getting paid

in increments of jar.

It's a sad talent.

- Hey.

- Oh, hey.

I moved those around

the other day.

I found one of you

in your habit.

- What a trip.

- Remember this?

It's when we rented

that cottage in the Ozarks.

You kids sang

the entire way there.

It was so cute

for the first 20 minutes.

You and Dad look so young.

Let me see.

Oh, that was right after

we got married.

But we weren't so young.

We were 28.

Well, I'm 34.

What does that make me?

I don't remember Dad

ever looking this healthy.

Yeah.

Look at this.

[laughs]

Ah, I must've been,

I don't know, 22?

Now that was young.

Well, you were really pretty.

For a nun.

I was pretty, period.

Is that why you cheated on Jesus

with Dad?

Maybe.

You been drinking all night?

What? It's not like that.

It's just sometimes,

you know,

these things can be

hereditary.

Mom, I'm responsible.

Okay, when it comes to drinking,

at least.

Okay.

It's late.

Go to bed soon.

[door chime]

Nope.

Can I help you?

Oh, no, thanks.

I thought vintage would be more

my price range,

but I guess

it's still H&M for me.

Can't beat a $4 belt.

You know, I actually saw you

perform the other night

at Perfectos.

Oh, right. You were there

with Mitch the...

Mitch and I went

to high school together.

You went to Maplewood?

Yeah. Let me guess.

Villa?

Mary I.

Ah, way off.

World of difference.

I'm Elyse.

- Becks.

- Hi.

- It's nice to meet you.

- You too.

Becks is an interesting name.

Is it a stage name?

Uh, no,

it's short for Rebecca.

Mary Rebecca, actually.

My sister's name

is Mary Elizabeth,

in case you're wondering

how Catholic my mom is.

I really enjoyed your music.

Will you be playing again soon?

I sure as sh*t hope so.

I'm so broke.

And I'm not just saying that

as a negotiation tactic.

I'll give you 30 bucks

for this.

That's 300.

Used.

Does it come with

$270 in the pocket?

[laughs]

No, unfortunately.

- It's a really cool place.

- Thank you.

Oh, hey, can I put a flyer up?

I promise if you send

any students my way,

I'll come in, and I'll buy

something really expensive.

Sure, of course.

I'll put it on the door,

right where everyone can see it.

The door, right.

Thanks, dude!

You're welcome, dude.

Hmm.

[guitar tuning]

Hey, wow.

There's a lot more of you

here tonight.

Thank you so much

for coming out.

Now I know how Beyonc feels.

Beyonc still lives

with her mom, right?

No? It's just me?

Um...

This song is called

"Rabbit Hole."

Well, she talked

a perfect game

Promised love

and illusions of fame

But she just won't change

No, no, she'll never change

And you fool me once

And you fool me twice

And I fall down

the rabbit hole again

I fell again

Well, she wants so badly

to believe

But every time

remains deceived

And she just won't change

No, no, she'll never change

And you fool me once

And you fool me twice

And I fall down

the rabbit hole again

Oh, no, and you fool me once

And you fool me twice

And then I fall down

the rabbit hole again

Another respectable bounty.

I may have to start

charging commission.

- Hey, give me that, give...

- Ehh!

Hey, I think you got

some groupies over there.

If by "groupies,"

you mean they came on a Groupon.

See, that's Mitch's wife.

You know her?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I met her kinda randomly

the other day.

Awesome. She's bringing in

paying customers.

Do you want to say hi,

or do you want me to make up

some rock star sh*t,

like you got a private chopper

waiting around back?

She knows I can't afford

a used shirt,

so I don't think

she'll buy it.

I'm gonna leave this here.

Don't touch it.

[applause]

Great show.

- Thank you.

- Oh, my God, so great.

So real.

You seemed so upset.

Thank you, I think.

Didn't know there were so many

local fans of lesbian folk rock.

Oh, my God.

That is too funny.

You know Richard's golf pro

is a lesbian.

Um, Elyse, right?

Yeah, you remembered.

These are my friends:

Maggie, Callie, and Mercede.

Mercede, like singular?

How else would it be?

So, uh, how do you guys

know each other?

I'm getting like

a sorority vibe.

No. High school.

Oh, right, Mary I.

That rich girl Catholic school.

It's not Catholic.

Then who's Mary?

Just some random chick

named Mary?

[laughing]

You are so funny.

No, but seriously,

nobody knows who Mary is.

Okay, cool. Well, it was nice

to meet you guys.

- Do you want to join us?

- Come on.

We never get to talk

to a real-life rock star.

- Well, I met John Cusack once.

- We know, Mercede.

Sit and have one drink.

It's on me.

Why not?

It was a cabin in the woods,

and I was completely topless.

- You were not topless.

- I was.

Oh, please. Don't tell that

story like you were topless.

I was topless.

I'm sorry, okay, listen,

I don't want to be rude,

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