Bed & Board

There, Mademoiselle

No... it's Madame!

This magazine, please

That poster of Nureyev...

may I have it?

- Help yourself

- Lovely...

Terrific!

- How much?

- Two francs

Thank you...

Mademoiselle...

No... it's Madame!

You go ahead, I'm slow

I'm late! I forgot the red

You're dyeing them red?

We did that at school:

We'd stick a flower in ink...

it'd turn black or blue

It was so messy we'd get hell!

They're turning red now

They're going to ban those products

I heard it on TV

What the hell for?

because of water pollution!

Shaving cream, too

From now on, only electric razors!

Look how red they are!

That was quick!

My immersion-heater...

Funny!

There's one that stays white...

Yes... and I don't know why

How's the artist?

Damn it, Ginette!

I pay you to work for me!

Know what I did?

Bought new pajamas

But I only kept the top

What do you say to that?

Not a thing!

You want an engraved invitation?

The flowers are here...

The blue are now red!

No... vice-versa!

It's an old story. I said...

"Mme Fournier, be nice..."

"My radio doesn't bother anyone"

She says:
"So, sue me!"

After all, I pay big taxes, right?

She just makes buttonholes!

I should have sued her then...

If I had it to do over...

They turned red!

You should go into business

for yourself

Telephone!

Hurry up!

I'll call her... hang on!

Oh, hello... Could you tell my wife

her mother's calling?

Hello mama...

I can't hear...

The garbage cans!

Tonight?

I'm sure we're free

Need anything?

Right... at 8:
30!

See you tonight

We're invited to dinner at 8:15

I'll close up right away

I'll get you yet!

Give me a hand, please

Coming, dear!

I'm coming...

I'm almost ready!

You can set your clock by him

He's an opera singer:

always exits on cue!

You're neighbors, aren't you?

Same floor, next door

He's always right on time...

and always mad at his wife!

She's like your flowers...

A little red here,

a little blue there...

Look over there!

Christine, would you get the wine?

The personnel wanted to work!

Antoine, come help me

Go ahead...

That bottle, please

The Senator had a Mercedes...

a foreign car:
bad politics!

So he got a Citron

I got the Mercedes!

I can sell it

Striglias?

Striglias...

often confused with oubiglias

From my neighbor... Plates?

I thought you brought them...

for Mother's Day

Mother's Day?

I'm sorry, mama, I forgot!

Mother's Day is a Nazi invention...

Yes... during the war...

I put in aspirin

Aspirin in the water?

That's nonsense.

You should cut the stems

I do that too...

about 1/2 inch

Out of the water?

That's useless, too...

You have to cut them in the water,

so that...

no air gets in

The water goes straight up

to the flower

Your Japanese expert said that?

They know all about flowers

Floral art...

What about me?

Don't I get any soup?

I spoke to the Senator...

He might invest in your idea:

A self-service flower stand

I'm not interested anymore

I thought it over...

Too much spoilage...

right?

Except near a cemetery;

you could sell wreaths...

I've got a new interest...

A process to obtain Absolute Red

Too bad. The Senator loves flowers

Anyway...

he says you'll get a phone soon

Then pupils can call me directly!

You got the message? Marianne...

She came.

Her dentist cancelled

The little virtuoso...

who plays better than you?

Don't exaggerate!

She is gifted, but...

her mother forgets to pay and...

You won't ask? I will!

You're in the courtyard

I'll grab her coming out,

and ask her!

I've got an idea!

If she forgets, let her go

Just close the door.

Then play a tune so Antoine knows!

Play what?

- "River Kwai?"

- No, not that!

"Mademoiselle from Armentieres?"

Something livelier

"Autumn Leaves?"

Too slow!

"Carmen?"

"The Jewel Song?"

What's that?

"The Marseillaise!"

Of course!

"The Marseillaise?"

It's just right!

Oh, no! Can't be done...

You can't play it...

Not on a violin!

Why not?

Because:

"You can't fiddle around..."

"with a national anthem!"

Everyone knows that...

I'll get the light

Something's creepy about him

Doesn't Mme. Martin

know who he is?

No! He sublets. In 3 months...

he's had no visits, no mail!

Didn't you notice his hairy hands...

with forked fingers...

and sharp nails

that come out at night...

and grab at women's legs!

at women's legs!

Damn! I forgot the light

Don't look!

I'm reading

I think naked men are ugly!

How do women stand it?

Naked men are repulsive!

- Not all men...

- Yes, all men!

Except one!

That's true...

All... except one!

Who's the pin-up?

Nureyev.

A great dancer... and handsome

My poor breasts!

I can't breast-feed a child

Me neither!

Let him feed himself!

Let's see...

Let me see your breasts!

What's wrong with them?

Hey, they don't match!

You're crazy!

One's bigger than the other

It's not true

It is true!

Then it's normal!

Not at all...

If they had names they'd be...

Laurel... and Hardy!

Or maybe:
Don Quixote...

and the little one: Sancho Panza

It's not funny!

A warm bed at night...

Get up! My pupil's coming

Hello Marianne

I'll call my wife

It's your pupil...

I'll leave you now...

Did you practice?

Your scales and "sostenuto"?

About an hour a day

Shall we start right in?

Think about your attacks,

and you tone

Anybody here?

Excuse me,

could you tell me...

Doinel!

- How are you?

- Same as always

What're you doing?

Coloring flowers

Your own business?

No... I work for a florist

Look like hard work

They say it takes

a lazy man to work hard

Married?

Yes, I live here...

Hear that violin?

My wife...

She gives lessons

Ah, a musician

You always did like music...

and nice bourgeois girls!

I never looked at it that way

For me,

it's not just the girl...

It's her family:
father, mother...

I enjoy parents...

when they're not my own!

That your truck out front?

Can't park there

I gave you a ticket. Want two?

Sure, Dad, make it a pair!

I'm supposed to fix a TV set

You know a... Desdoigts?

M. Desbois... up there

That's funny...

Maybe he's gone out

I'd be surprised...

He hasn't, for 25 years

Sort of voluntary confinement

Says he won't go out till

Marshal who is...

Marshal Juin?

No, the one who ran France

during the war

Marshal Petain!

Won't go out till Marshal Petain...

is buried in Verdun!

Where is he?

The TV repairman is here

About time! Hurry up!

Take it easy!

How's Josianne?

Didn't you marry her?

No. She quit work to marry...

an astronaut!

"Big pay and always away!"

She lives on Avenue Foch!

She's got it made!

He married her

because he knocked her up

I think she let herself...

because... yeah, you get me?

Excuse me... be right back!

You're getting good!

Thanks to Mme. Doinel...

I can never tell whether

it's my wife or Marianne playing

Soon you'll give the lessons...

and my wife will pay you!

Oh, I forgot to pay your wife!

It doesn't matter...

Yes, yes!

I forgot last time too!

No hurry...

Two lessons

Well, thank you... goodbye...

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