Bedknobs and Broomsticks Page #4

valuable time.

- What's your name?

- Miss Price.

- Your first name.

- Eglantine.

Eglantine, Eglantine,

oh, how you'll shine

Your lot and my lot

have got to combine

Eglantine, Eglantine,

hark to the stars

Destiny calls us,

the future is ours

As the shine sells the boot

and the blossoms the fruit

All you need to succeed

in your plan

Is the proper ally

upon whom to rely

And I'm your man

For I have an acumen

that's nigh-superhuman

I sell things that nobody can

So I humbly suggest

you accept my behest

I'm your man

Eglantine, Eglantine,

oh how you'll shine

Will you stop?

Your lot and my lot

have got to combine

Eglantine, Eglantine,

hark to the stars

Destiny calls us,

the future is ours

What are you reading?

''lsle of Naboombu.''

- Can't be no such place.

- There is too such a place.

These pictures prove it, don't it?

Bit weird, ain't it?

Animals wearing hats and things.

l like it.

Now where is the book?

Well? Where is it?

At last, Mr Browne!

''The Spells of Astoroth.''

Of course.

Here's the travelling spell.

This is where you got it.

Does one's nose

have to twitch like this?

Oh, you're back, Mr Browne.

Miss Price,

a word about your tactics.

l don't mind being changed

into a hawk or a tiger

or something with dash.

But always a fluffy white rabbit?

lt's intolerable!

Here we are!

Substitutiary locomotion.

''The ancient art of...''

''The spell which creates

this force is five mystic words.''

''These words are...''

But the rest of the book is missing!

Now you see why

l closed down the college.

- But where are the other pages?

- Haven't the foggiest.

- Listen to me!

- l'm all ears.

You will be if you don't pay attention.

Where did you get this book?

l bought it from a street market.

There was a bit of unpleasantness.

He claimed that l'd given him

a dud coin. l ask you!

There was a sort of scuffle.

The book tore.

He got one half and l got the other.

- But where's the other half now?

- lt's probably been thrown away.

But if it still exists,

there's only one place to find it.

- Where is that?

- Portobello Road

Portobello Road

Street where

the riches of ages are stowed

Anything and everything

a chap can unload

Is sold off the barrow

in Portobello Road

You'll find what you want

in the Portobello Road

- Rare alabaster

- Genuine plaster

A filigreed samovar

owned by the tsars

- A pen used by Shelley

- A new Botticelli!

The snippers that clipped

old King Edward's cigars

Made in Hong Kong?

Two bob a dozen, would you say?

- Waterford crystal

- Napoleon's pistols

Society heirlooms with genuine gems

Rembrandts, El Grecos,

Toulouse-Lautrecos

Painted last week

on the banks of the Thames

Very interesting,

but where do they sell books?

There's a little place

around the corner.

Portobello Road, Portobello Road

Street where

the riches of ages are stowed

Anything and everything

a chap can unload

Is sold off the barrow

in Portobello Road

You meet all your chums

in the Portobello Road

Lovely to see you. Goodbye.

What l want

is the other half of this book.

All in good time, my dear.

Burke's Peerage, The Bride Book,

The Fishmonger's Guidebook

l'm looking for

the other part of this.

A Victorian novel, ''The Unwanted Son''

- You don't understand!

- The History of Potting

The Yearbook of Yachting

The leather-bound

''Life of Attila the Hun''

Portobello Road, Portobello Road

Street where

the riches of ages are stowed

Artefacts to glorify a regal abode

Are hidden in the flotsam

in Portobello Road

Who do you think you are?

Tokens and treasures,

yesterday's pleasures

Cheap imitations

and heirlooms of old

Dented and tarnished,

scarred and unvarnished

In old Portobello...

This lady is looking

for the other half of this book.

lt's called ''The Spells of Astoroth''.

l don't keep no torn

or damaged books here.

What do you think l am?

A ruddy wastepaper merchant?

You can eat like a king

in the Portobello Road

There's another bookstore

along here somewhere.

You don't expect

to sell a piano like that, do you?

Let me have a go, my dear fellow.

Portobello Road, Portobello Road

Happy things are happening

in Portobello Road

You feel like a ballerina

when you're hopping like a toad

When you kick your heels up

down in Portobello Road

Come on, ducks!

Come on, girls!

Lovely.

Oh, yeah, play the drums.

Closing time!

Bye!

Portobello Road

Portobello Road

Street where the riches

of ages are stowed

Anything and everything

a chap can unload...

Hey, governor. Something

for the lady friend? Nylons?

- No, thank you.

- Petrol coupons?

- Chocs for the little 'uns?

- No.

How about one of these, mate?

Fell off the back of a lorry.

- Be a good chap and run away.

- Would you fancy this, then?

Now you have my undivided attention.

- What can l do for you?

- Get over to the Bookman right away.

He wants to see you. You too.

Who is the Bookman? And what right

has he got to order me about?

l think we'd better

ask questions later.

Excuse me.

Sorry, guv.

No one told me about the stairs.

Why didn't you

bring Scotland Yard, Swinburne,

and half the Household Cavalry

as well?

What's the bed for?

lt's a present for you.

That's what he said.

Nothing of the sort.

The bed belongs to me.

Except for this knob, which is mine.

Bookman, there's been bad blood

between us long enough.

Let this gift begin friendship anew.

- Draw the curtains. Lock the door.

- You'll be snug as a bug.

lsn't that the section of the manuscript

we've been looking for?

- Who is this person?

- Miss Eglantine Price.

A charming young woman

of my acquaintance.

Miss Price, l've been looking

for this other bit a long time.

Mr Swinburne told me you were

in the market making enquiries.

And here we are. l don't mind saying,

to see it all together at last...

- There isn't much l wouldn't do.

- Or haven't done, for that matter.

- Right, guv?

- You'll close your mouth, Swinburne.

ls that clear?

lt's all like a jolly detective story

or jigsaw puzzle, isn't it?

We're both after the same spell.

You have one clue, l have the other.

Yes, in that case, the sensible thing

seems to be for us to cooperate.

l assume you're looking

for the same thing l am.

May l?

This is quite a moment

for both of us.

''Substitutiary locomotion,

the lost miracle of the ancients.''

And so on and so forth.

Here we are.

''The spell which creates this force

is five mystic words.''

''These words are...

engraved on the star that was always

worn by the sorcerer Astoroth.''

But where are the words of the spell?

l assumed they'd be

in your half of the manuscript.

l thought they'd be in yours!

Once again, a dead end.

l shall never know the secret.

lsn't that old Astoroth?

And there's his star.

Pity it's so small

you can't read the writing.

- But why the animals?

- Towards the end of his life,

Astoroth kept animals in cages

in search for the spells that

would make them more like humans.

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