Beetle Juice
- Year:
- 1988
- 800 Views
That's a big fella! Whoa!
- Looks great.
- Thank you.
Happy vacation, honey.
Manchurian tung oil!
Where did you get this?
Helen got it for me in Oslo.
There's enough here
to do the whole table and the bureau.
Oh, honey, you got it. Thank you.
Enough to do the entire guest room.
I'm so glad we're spending
our vacation at home.
- Where are you going?
- I'll get it.
- Be my guest.
- I'll go.
Oh, no!
Jane.
It's your turn, honey.
- Good luck, honey.
- Thanks.
Hi, Barbara. I'm glad I caught you.
Heard you were on vacation.
That's right. Complete vacation.
Today I'm $260,000!
- It's 6:
45 in the morning.- This offer is real.
From a man in New York City
who only saw a photograph.
Jane, don't send people photos
of our house.
He wants to bring the wife and family
here for some peace and quiet.
That's what we're looking for.
This house is too big for you.
It ought to be for a couple with kids.
I didn't mean anything.
But this house is too big.
- I'll see you in a few weeks. Okay?
I was telling Barbara about this offer
on the house...
No, Jane.
Come with me to the store.
- What for?
- I need a new brush for the tung oil.
- And I want to get a part for the model.
- Just run in, okay?
Two weeks at home. The perfect vacation.
Jane says we should sell the house
to someone with a family.
I don't think it's any of Jane's business.
Besides, we could try again
on this vacation.
Really? What are you saying?
- How are you doing, Ernie?
- Hi, how are you?
Good morning, Adam.
- Need a haircut before your vacation?
- No, thanks, Bill.
- How's the model coming?
- Great.
You know, Bozman built that foundation
in 1835. His grandson...
He's got hair down
to his goddamn shoulders.
He says to me, "Just trim it a little."
- I took the scissors to him so fast...
- See you later.
- This will be great.
- Wouldn't you rather go to Jamaica?
- No way. There's no place like home.
- Look out for that...
Perfect start to our vacation.
You'll feel better when you're dry.
That fire wasn't burning when we left.
- How's your arm?
- I don't know. It feels frozen.
I'll make some coffee
and you get wood for the fire.
Maybe we should take things extra slow.
Do you remember how
we got back up here?
I'm going back to that bridge
and retrace our steps.
- You saved my...
- Two hours!
- You won't believe... What?
- That's how long you were gone.
- What is going on?
- I have to show you something.
Look.
There's that.
And there's that.
- "Handbook for the Recently Diseased."
- Deceased.
Deceased.
I don't know where it came from.
Look at the publisher.
"Handbook for
You know what?
I don't think we survived the crash.
I hate this.
Can you give me the basics?
This book isn't arranged that way.
What do you want to know?
Why did you disappear
when you stepped off the porch?
Are we halfway to heaven
or halfway to hell?
How long will this last?
I don't see anything about heaven or hell.
This book reads like stereo instructions.
Listen.
"Geographical and Temporal Perimeters.
"Functional perimeters vary from
manifestation to manifestation."
This is going to take some time.
Damn sandworms. Thirteen percent, huh?
I better find a job.
Let's see. Business section.
What do we got here? The Maitlands.
Cute couple. Look nice and stupid, too.
I wish I had a better view
of the cemetery from here.
I can't tell which is
the best placement for us.
Cabin fever?
I can't clean anything properly.
The vacuum's in the garage
and we can't leave the house.
Why don't they tell us something?
Where are the other dead people?
Why is it just you and me?
Maybe this is heaven.
In heaven there wouldn't be dust
on everything.
It's Jane.
- What's she doing here?
- I don't know.
Jane, up here. Jane!
She can't see you, right?
In the book, rule number two:
"The living usually won't see the dead."
- Won't or can't?
- It just says "won't."
God, this book is so stupid!
I can't understand anything in it.
Barb, honey...
...we're dead.
I don't think we have much
This is great!
Just what the doctor ordered.
Sorry, ma'am.
Delia Deetz, welcome home.
Charles!
It's okay, there's no damage. See?
Good, sturdy, country craftsmanship.
Look at that kitchen. You'll finally
be able to cook a decent meal.
Come and have a look.
A little gasoline. Blowtorch. No problem.
Excuse me. Here we go.
We'll have to rip out all the plumbing.
Other than that, it's perfect. Just perfect.
- What do you think, honey?
I could live here.
Careful! That's my sculpture.
I don't mean "my" as in "I bought it."
I mean I made it.
Put it on the table.
Ten minutes. I'm already perfectly at ease.
It's perfect.
Help!
It's Otho.
Otho, why don't you come
in the front door?
It's bad luck.
You left the city for me. I am so happy.
Of course you are.
Let's get one thing straight.
We're here to enjoy the country setting,
not to trash the place!
Charles, you're lucky
the yuppies are buying condos...
...so you can afford what I'm going
to have to do to this place.
I'm here to relax and clip coupons,
and, damn it, I mean to do it.
Then go do it quietly, dear,
and let Otho and me think.
Is the rest of the house as bad as this?
Is this a punishment?
What are we going to do?
We're not completely helpless.
I've been reading that book and there's
a word for people in our situation.
Ghosts!
Let's get this show on the road.
We're dealing with
negative entertainment potential.
There's absolutely no organic flow through.
I noticed that, too.
It's like a giant ant farm.
- What?
- I thought I saw something.
You've read my mind.
- I did?
- So few clients are able to read my mind.
They're not open to the experience.
My God!
We just have to pray the other closets
are bigger than this one.
Look!
Ozzie and Harriet.
- What happened to these people?
- They died.
Look, an indoor outhouse.
- Viridian.
- Viridian. Why do I know that name?
Blue-green!
Hydrated chromic oxide.
Remember, I'm schooled in chemistry.
I was a hair analyst.
- What?
- Briefly.
Deliver me from L.L. Bean.
I know what you two are up to and
you're not going to get away with it!
This is not working out.
I will not stop living and breathing art
just because you need to relax.
I'm here with you. I'll live with you
in this hellhole.
But I must express myself. If I can't
gut this house and make it my own...
...I will go insane
and I will take you with me!
Yeah. Well, maybe the house
could use a little remodeling.
But why don't you just leave
this room alone, okay?
Okay.
I'll get her.
So?
Once you cover the wallpaper, knock down
a few walls, this place might be livable.
- What's on the third floor?
- Attic space.
I forgot to lock the attic door.
- Did you feel something?
Translation
Translate and read this script in other languages:
Select another language:
- - Select -
- 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
- 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
- Español (Spanish)
- Esperanto (Esperanto)
- 日本語 (Japanese)
- Português (Portuguese)
- Deutsch (German)
- العربية (Arabic)
- Français (French)
- Русский (Russian)
- ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
- 한국어 (Korean)
- עברית (Hebrew)
- Gaeilge (Irish)
- Українська (Ukrainian)
- اردو (Urdu)
- Magyar (Hungarian)
- मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
- Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Italiano (Italian)
- தமிழ் (Tamil)
- Türkçe (Turkish)
- తెలుగు (Telugu)
- ภาษาไทย (Thai)
- Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
- Čeština (Czech)
- Polski (Polish)
- Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Românește (Romanian)
- Nederlands (Dutch)
- Ελληνικά (Greek)
- Latinum (Latin)
- Svenska (Swedish)
- Dansk (Danish)
- Suomi (Finnish)
- فارسی (Persian)
- ייִדיש (Yiddish)
- հայերեն (Armenian)
- Norsk (Norwegian)
- English (English)
Citation
Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
Style:MLAChicagoAPA
"Beetle Juice" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 24 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/beetle_juice_3811>.
Discuss this script with the community:
Report Comment
We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.
If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly.
Attachment
You need to be logged in to favorite.
Log In