Beetlejuice Page #17

ADAM:

Well, we'll have to try

something else. Maybe if

you came back a little later,

we could work something up.

Sort of try it out on you

first.

CATHY:

I don't know if I can come

back tonight. We're having

guests -- Lydia's real mom,

and Otho -- he's the one who's

helping Mom do all the re-

decoration. And Mom says I

have to macerate the endive.

CATHY leaves.

BEETLE JUICE (v.o.)

Poor kid.

ADAM and BARBARA look down into the model.

IN THE MODEL --

BEETLE JUICE lies sunning himself in the park. He's wearing the

world's smallest Speedo, and has a sunning reflector around his

neck.

BARBARA:

Those sheets didn't work at

all.

BEETLE JUICE:

I told you. You have to start

small till you get the hang of

it. Hey', they're giving a

party tonight, and there's

your chance.

ADAM:

You'll tell us what to do?

BEETLE JUICE:

That's what I'm here for,

pal. Hey, you're blocking

my rays.

ADAM and BARBARA pull back.

INT:
DINING ROOM -- NIGHT

The DEETZ's first dinner party, using EVELYN (CHARLES's first

wife,) and OTHO as guinea pigs. Even so, things aren't going as

well as DELIA had hoped. It's EVELYN who's putting in the knife,

and OTHO (under the guise of friendship) who's twisting it.

EVELYN:

Nobody understands why

you did it, Delia.

CATHY:

Did what?

EVELYN:

Drag your whole family into

the wilds of Connecticut.

You'll never get anybody

to visit you.

CHARLES:

You came quickly enough,

Evelyn.

EVELYN:

That's because I had to get

you to sign some very important

contracts. People come up to

me, and say, "Why on earth did

they do it? What's in Winter

River?"

LYDIA:

Zilch. Zilch is what is in

Winter River.

OTHO:

Well, I defend you. I tell

people that I think it was

a wonderful idea. Charles can

write without distraction --

and for a conceptual artist like

Delia who is -- let's face it,

in a critical slump... I tell

people it's good for you to

appear inaccessible. But I have

to agree with Evelyn, it's going

to be hard to get people out here.

DELIA, in her agitation, knocks over a glass of water. The glass

falls off the table onto the fine Oriental carpet beneath the

table. There's a little distracting to-do about retrieving it.

DELIA:

Well, there's not going to be

any difficulty about getting them

out here when they find out just

how special this house is.

OTHO:

It's nice, Delia, and it will be

more than presentable when I've

worked my way with it -- but I

don't know if I'd care to use the

word special.

DELIA:

Ghosts aren't special? Ghosts

are pretty special in my book.

CHARLES:

(Cautionary) Lydia and Cathy

tried to play a little joke on

us this afternoon.

LYDIA:

It wasn't a joke.

CHARLES:

They tried to convince Delia

and me that this house was

haunted.

OTHO's glance is sharp at this.

DELIA:

Of course I was a little

sceptical at first, but I've

always felt I had a sympathy

with that sort of thing.

And Otho, ghosts should be

right up your alley.

LYDIA:

Why?

DELIA:

Before Otho started

slinging chintz he was

giving backroom seances

in the East Village.

OTHO:

Yes, well, the bottom fell

out of the psychic market

in seventy-two, but my powers

are undiminished. And I have

never relinquished my profound

interest in matters of the

spirit.

EVELYN:

Delia, it's cute schtick, but

you're going to have a pretty

rough time convincing

me -- or any of your other

friends -- that this house is

haunted. We're going to need

-- what's that phrase?

OTHO:

Ocular demonstration.

EVELYN:

Right. Proof. We just --

EVELYN suddenly breaks off with --

A VIOLENT SCREAM.

DELIA stares at her for a moment, then an expression of shock

crosses DELIA's face and she shrieks as well.

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