Beetlejuice Page #27

CATHY'S POV --

ADAM and BARBARA are perched on the counter.

BARBARA:

Are all these people friends

of your parents?

CATHY:

Maybe not friends exactly.

But part of their networks.

OBVIOUS SEXUAL GROANS --

come out from behind the laundry room door. CATHY looks

curiously in that direction.

ADAM:

Why don't we go up to the

attic for a while? You can

try to teach us how to play

gin rummy again.

CATHY:

Okay, but I can't stay too

long.

The laundry room door starts to bang on its hinges. The GROANS

are more pronounced.

ADAM pulls CATHY out through the dining room. BARBARA stays

behind a moment, staring at the laundry room door.

INT:
LAUNDRY ROOM -- NIGHT

The PUBLISHER and the ARTIST are in a heavy embrace against the

door. They're obviously up to something, but whatever it is has

not prevented the ARTIST from chain-smoking.

Suddenly, there's a powerful kick against the door, which sends

the entwined couple toppling into a basket of dirty laundry.

INT:
KITCHEN -- NIGHT

Dusting her hands for a job well done, BARBARA follows ADAM and

CATHY into the dining room.

INT:
OTHO'S ROOM -- NIGHT

DELIA and OTHO are trying to flatten out the rictored of BEETLE

JUICE / OLD WOMAN. They finally manage to do so, but their

stomachs turn at the sound of the CRACKING BONES.

OTHO:

Do you want to call the

police? Or an ambulance?

DELIA:

I'm not having a dead woman

carted out of my party.

Tomorrow's good enough.

For right now, let's just

get her in the closet.

OTHO gives DELIA a look, as if to say, "Are you sure?"

DELIA (cont)

She wasn't even invited.

They heave to.

INT:
STAIRS TO SECOND FLOOR -- NIGHT

Two extraordinarily weird-looking ARTIST sorts perform the

tradition of gossipping viciously about the hosts.

ARTIST #1

Did you believe that weirdness

on the invitation about ghosts?

I mean, Delia is really reaching

this time, isn't she?

ARTIST #2

I think the whole family's

weird.

ADAM, BARBARA, and CATHY approach the bottom of the stairs.

ARTISTS' POV --

CATHY trips on the bottom step. But instead of falling, she is

lofted by invisible hands half a dozen steps higher. She regains

her balance, and continues up the stairs.

ARTIST #2

Exhibit A.

INT:
SECOND FLOOR HALLWAY -- NIGHT

ADAM, BARBARA, AND CATHY pass OTHO and DELIA, coming out of

OTHO's bedroom. OTHO and DELIA look like two people who have

just hidden a corpse in the closet.

DELIA:

(To Cathy) It's a wonderful

party, isn't it darling?

CATHY:

Yes, it is.

ADAM shoots DELIA a hateful look -- after all, she cut down his

orchard. DELIA shivers.

DELIA:

(To OTHO) Brrr.

OTHO:

I felt it too.

DELIA and OTHO go downstairs. CATHY, ADAM, and BARBARA go up the

stairs to the attic. The hallway is temporarily empty. Then

BEETLE JUICE as the IRS agent creeps out of OTHO's bedroom, and

goes back into CHARLES's STUDY.

EXT:
THE TENT -- NIGHT

We get the first indication that the party has been winding down.

Most of the food has been eaten (or dropped on the ground).

Everything looks unappetizing. There are only a few people out,

and the air is a little chill.

CHARLES still sits at the corner of the tent, staring up at the

lighted window of his study, working on yet another pitcher of

Long Island Iced Tea.

He grabs the arm of a GUEST passing just then.

CHARLES:

(Slurred) What time is

it?

GUEST:

Eleven o'clock. You don't

suppose you could bump up

the ghosts a little, do you?

I'm playing racketball at

six in the morning.

CHARLES:

Ten hours. That's how long

he's been up there.

The GUEST, realizing CHARLES has not even heard his question,

moves on.

CHARLES POV --

BEETLE JUICE / IRS appears in the windows, and calls down to

CHARLES.

BEETLE JUICE / IRS

Mr. Deetz, I'm reading for you

now.

INT:
UPSTAIRS BATHROOM -- NIGHT

Sitting at a long make-up table are LYDIA and a very upper-class

matronly WOMAN. Expressionlessly, the MATRON watches LYDIA as

she revamps her DEATH ROCKER make-up, primping for DANNY DEATH.

MATRON:

What color is that, dear?

LYDIA:

It's called Agent Orange.

MATRON:

Mind if I try it?

LYDIA passes it over.

MATRON:

Is it true about the ghosts,

or is Lydia having on with

us again?

LYDIA:

Well, I can't see them.

But my sister can. They're

supposed to come down at

midnight and move ashtrays

or something.

INT:
UPSTAIRS HALLWAY -- NIGHT

CHARLES is standing at the opened door of his study. BEETLE

JUICE / IRS is standing just inside the room, as if barring the

entrance.

BEETLE JUICE / IRS

Well, it looks like I'm

going to be working on this

one through the night.

CHARLES:

Oh God.

BEETLE JUICE / IRS

But I thought I'd give you

a progress report. I found a

$58,000 discrepancy between

your bank deposits and your

reported income, and so far

I've come across approximately

$160,000 in unallowable

deductions. I telephoned my

superior, and we've decided

to widen the audit to include

the previous three years.

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