Befikre Page #6

...a pram in the other. What a life!

I'm kidding!

You'll be just fine.

Mr. Citibank will keep you happy.

Open your account with him.

Marriage! Intense.

It's forever, like a tattoo.

- Thank you.

- Thank you?

I needed reassurance from someone

who knows me.

You're welcome, Ma.

(LAUGHING)

If I die, I won't spare you.

Don't. I'll be right here.

It's final? We'll never say

I love you, right?

- Right.

- Cool.

How do you say:
"Never say

I love you" in French?

"Ne dis jamais je t'aime."

Ah! So sexy!

Never say I love you,

never say je t'aime.

Never say you're in love.

Never say je t'aime.

Your heart will desert you...

...go easy on yourself.

You won't sleep at nights...

...go easy on yourself.

Never say I love you,

never say je t'aime.

Never say you're in love.

Never say je t'aime.

You'll end up weeping,

losing your friend too.

Don't. No, don't say those words.

Why sleep on a bed of thorns

for no reason?

Don't. No, don't say those words.

Your breath will freeze on your lips.

I promise you.

You'll be all tied up in knots...

...go easy on yourself.

Never say I love you,

never say je t'aime.

Don't. No, don't say those words.

A girl calls you 24/7.

Shall I buy this phone? You advise.

What to wear? You suggest.

Her car breaks down - you fix it.

Meaning...

...her life cannot function

without you.

She's the heroine, you her hero.

Then one fine day...

...another guy enters her life.

You realise that...

...the real hero is another man.

You're the supporting act,

the side hero.

(MAN LAUGHING)

Uncle, looks like you've been there.

You've probably played many

supporting roles too.

Let's raise a toast to that.

Cheers to side heroes!

Cheers, my boy!

(CLUB MUSIC)

(CROWD APPLAUDES)

Anay and Shyra!

Wow! You've become

Shah Rukh Khan!

Where the hell have you been?

No call, no message. I was going nuts,

wedding shopping alone.

Sorry. I was in Courchevel with

Christine's family. Skiing.

No network.

- Christine has a family?

- A massive one!

Two brothers, two fathers.

All footballers.

By the way...

Very soon a new member

is joining her family.

What?

Yeah!

I'm marrying Christine.

You, what?

She doesn't know yet. I'll surprise her

when the moment's right.

Had to tell you first.

(MURMURS)

One doesn't just get married.

Think about it.

You have nothing in common.

You're not thinking from your head,

but from elsewhere!

Wow!

You decide from head and heart.

Me? From elsewhere!

Remember you asked for advice about

Anay. I was so happy for you!

- But you?

- Don't imagine I took your advice.

- It was my decision.

- And this is mine.

Stop it, Dharam. Big difference

between Anay and Christine.

Christine is probably a nice girl,

but she's not right for you.

You need someone

to balance you.

Someone who can can

control your immaturity.

She is half-crazy too,

how will she handle you?

I know you very well. You're

not ready for marriage.

You're definitely not

marrying her. Got it?

I get it.

You get what?

Nothing.

- You laughing at me?

- No. I'm laughing at me.

It's crystal clear.

What's clear?

You're not over me.

You're still not over me.

That's why you can't bear

to see me with someone else.

You can't bear me settling down.

'Cos it reminds you of

your own shortcomings.

And what you lack that stops me

from marrying you.

I get it.

First you broke my heart

as a lover.

Now you're breaking it

as a friend.

It's good.

Finally it's over between us.

You can't hurt me anymore.

You know what. Do whatever.

(SHRIEKING)

What?

I'll be back in a minute.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Shyra's best friend Dharam has just

proposed to beautiful Christine.

Join me in raising a toast

to this wonderful surprise!

My man, fix the date now.

We're getting married

on the same day as you.

Same time, same place?

Done?

Done!

Everyone, you're no longer invited

to the Anay and Shyra wedding.

You're invited to a double wedding.

The Dharam and Christine...

Anay and Shyra wedding on 21 April

in exclusive Picardie.

(CROWD APPLAUDES)

Why did Christine bring bodyguards?

They're not bodyguards. They're her

footballer brothers and Dads...

...her mother is behind them.

Christine's brother is such

a gentleman, so loving.

- Like an Indian son, not very French.

- That's Christine's stepfather.

Don't drink with them.

They love whacking their

drinking pals. End of you.

That group is Anay's banker friends.

Highly educated, very rich.

Keep away, out of your league.

(CRIES OF DELIGHT)

They're Shyra's friends.

Hard figuring out who is straight

or who is gay.

So protect your family jewels.

Stay away.

So must I just say bonjour-merci

and run?

No silly jokes, please.

You're my only guest.

I have a reputation to protect.

- Must I wear a burqa?

- Yeah! You'll look slimmer.

Hi, guys!

Why the hell is Shyra marrying?

If I knew, I'd be

an expert on women.

Why are you getting married?

If I knew, I'd be

an expert on life.

Maybe she's marrying for

the same reason you are.

Hello, darling!

- So you're a Kamasutra expert?

- Learn from me.

Jogi, don't you feel like a guest

at a neighbour's wedding?

If we were in India, shehnais

would be playing.

There'd be a dessert counter there,

laden with goodies.

And the drums would be playing.

We raised her as a French girl.

Why cry now?

Sip your champagne.

Calm your nerves.

I feel like giving her a hard slap.

And bring her up all over again,

in full Indian style.

You're silly.

We don't bring up kids anymore.

They bring us up.

Bless me!

Mehra has ordered Indian snacks.

The waiter will serve you hot chai.

We'll make do with champagne.

No way, sir. My guests must

enjoy my style.

- Are you ok?

- Tip top! Doesn't it show?

Shows too much. That's what

worries me.

I can smell pakodas.

I'll be right back.

This rascal made Shyra's life hell.

Did Shyra behave any better?

Two nuts off the same tree.

Maybe that's why I could

never dislike him.

- I'm sorry.

- It's ok.

The real problem is Shyra can't

really dislike him either.

- It's piping hot.

- Thank you.

Shall I get you a napkin?

- Are you sure?

- It's fine.

Remember my crazy friend Chris?

- He wants to meet you.

- Really?

Good evening, everyone!

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome

to the Sangeet night.

In India, no wedding is complete

without this musical night.

Traditionally, it's a battle between

the boy's side and the girl's.

Tonight it's Dharam vs. Shyra.

All right!

We've seen their crazy anytime-

anywhere dancing.

Tonight they'll be dancing

together for one last time.

So put your hands together

for Dharam and Shyra.

No way!

No, I'm not dancing.

No seriously, Come on!

Yes!

Come on, guys! Make some noise

for Dharam and Shyra.

(CLAPPING AND CHEERING)

(BIG APPLAUSE)

(KNEADING DOUGH)

You still need Mummy's help

for some things in life.

How do you make a paratha

without a rolling pin?

That's cool.

How do you think your parents

became chefs in France?

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