Behind the Candelabra Page #3

I should

just tell you...

I'm bisexual.

I like women, too.

Well, good for you.

I love women!

I wish I could be

that flexible.

Make things

so much easier.

I am so sick

of getting fan mail

about my engagement

to Sonja Henie.

As if I would marry

an ice skater.

Please--

I mean, those thighs.

No, I was a goner

from my first time.

He was

a Green Bay Packer.

He came to hear me play

at one of my saloons.

I couldn't miss him--

the guy was

the size of the door.

That's how I lost

my virginity.

Isn't that romantic?

You know, I tried

to make myself love women.

I'd stare at women's bosoms

and their backsides,

you know, trying

to feel something.

You see, I knew...

from being Catholic

what happened

to boys like me.

And I went

to confession.

Of course, I couldn't

confess everything.

The problem was,

according to Catholics...

not confessing a sin

is also considered a sin...

so, you know, I was damned

if I do, damned if I didn't.

I can't believe

you're still Catholic.

Devout.

The turning point

for me...

was Kennedy

getting assassinated.

I was working non-stop

and I was sick.

I felt terrible.

We found out later...

that when those heavy costumes

I wear get dry cleaned...

they use this

tetrachloride solution.

I would sweat...

and it'd get absorbed

into my bloodstream...

and shut down my kidneys.

Can you imagine?

But no one knew.

So I'm watching

the assassination on TV

and I think... at least

I'll have a few days off.

I mean, nobody's going to come

see me perform this weekend.

But, no.

No, Seymour made me work.

They thought

I was dying.

They couldn't figure out

what was wrong.

I mean,

everything's bloated.

I'm drowning

in my own fluids.

They put me on dialysis

and I'm thinking...

the only thing that's going to

get me through this is prayer.

Sometime within these

36 hours of treatment...

I wake up,

and there's this nun

in an all-white habit

sitting beside my bed.

I said

I wanted to pray,

and she told me

not to waste my strength.

And she assured me

I would live.

Next day, my kidneys

start to work.

The doctors were amazed!

They admitted to me

they had given up hope.

So I asked

to see the nun...

to thank her

for giving me strength,

and... they said,

"Oh, no,

there's no nun here

that fits that description."

"There are no nuns here

that wear all-white habits."

And I knew.

I knew my life

would not have been spared

if being gay was the sin

that the Church said it was.

I was saved... because

God looks upon me

with special favor.

That nun...

was a messenger.

Wow.

Isn't that something?

But, Scott-- men, women--

you know, who cares?

What's important

is to be yourself.

You just be who you

are, baby boy.

Don't eat all of this.

You'll be angry that

your panties are tight.

Ah-ooh.

- You want some, Scott?

- Mm-mm.

Mm!

These are delicious.

Here.

Have one.

Does he

do that every night?

Mm-hmm.

Have yourself

a merry little Christmas...

Be careful, Scott.

Let your heart

be light...

Perfect.

From now on,

our troubles

Will be

out of sight...

He made you

a pesto panini.

Oh.

Did you bring

my Fresca?

What?

Here's what's going to happen.

You listening?

You think you're so hot

and sexy with your hard ass

and that bisexual

bullshit.

You know how many

there have been?

Bobby, Hans, Chase.

Oh, and some

country boy stripper

who was so dumb he wore

his G-string backwards.

He got rid

of all of them.

But I'm still here.

And one day,

Lee is going to call Seymour...

and he's going to tell him

to get rid of you.

Lee?

Lee?

Oh, excuse me.

I was--

Lee?

Right here,

baby boy.

You've never seen me

without my hair, have you?

Terrible.

Terrible, isn't it?

But the pieces,

they're great.

You know what

I'm going to do?

I'm going to put you

in charge of my wigs.

I only do that

for people I trust.

- Would you like that?

- Lee, I'm sorry, but...

I think maybe

this was a mistake.

What's wrong?

What?

I can't do this.

I can't live like this,

in this house.

I mean, everybody

looks down on me.

Carlucci is always on

my ass about something.

He's treating me

like I'm the houseboy.

I just, I can't

live like this.

I'm sorry.

I don't want

to see you depressed.

When you have a sad face,

then I feel sad.

But it's not sad, it's...

This isn't working.

Well, then I've failed.

Because you have

made me so happy...

over these past

few months.

And if I haven't

made you happy...

Your happiness means

everything to me, Scott.

I just don't know

what to do.

Why do I love you?

I love you

not only for what you are

But for what I am

when I'm with you

I love you not only for what

you have made of yourself

But for what

you are making of me.

I love you for ignoring

the possibilities...

of the fool in me

And for accepting

the possibilities

of the good in me.

Why do I love you?

I love you

for closing your eyes

to the discords in me.

And for adding

to the music in me

by worshipful listening

No, I don't

like it.

- It makes it better.

- I don't want it.

Oh. Oh!

I've always

wanted children.

I regret that--

not having children.

I love Christmas.

I think I'd be a good daddy,

- don't you think?

- Oh, you're such a loving man.

Mmm.

Well, maybe

I'll adopt you.

I want you to take the money

that you're earning...

and buy a house

here in Las Vegas.

I'll co-sign.

But it'll be

in your name,

so... you'll have

some security.

Would you like that?

Lee...

are you serious?

I want to be everything

to you, Scott.

I want to be

father... brother...

lover... best friend.

Everything.

You know I love you.

Does that mean

anything to you?

Maybe all

those years...

all those

foster homes...

maybe I'm your

real family.

I've

found a brand new idol

He's charming

as can be

I really

can't describe

The strange effect

he has on me...

I start to shake,

I start to shiver...

And every fiber in my being

seems to quiver...

Want to smell that?

It's a feeling

very close to ecstasy

That's what happens

when Liberace winks at me

- Isn't she sweet?

- Mmm.

She's got a little bit of a Judy

thing going on, don't you think?

Yeah.

You look hot.

I do, don't I?

The wink?

That was my idea.

- Yeah?

- Mm-hmm.

I was the first person

in television

to look directly

into the camera.

I was the first

matinee idol

in television.

I was the one had the idea

of putting the candelabra

up on the piano,

you know?

I saw an old

Merle Oberon movie

when I got the idea.

From, uh... about Chopin.

What was the name of that...?

"A Song to Remember"!

Really? That's like

your trademark!

I know.

Who knew?

Wow.

Huh.

So, really, no matter

what you did,

you were just...

meant to be famous.

I guess so.

Hmm.

( Groans

Hello.

Oh, hi.

Yeah, hold on.

It's Seymour.

I told him not to call

this number.

I told you not to call

this number.

Hi, Lee.

I'm sorry,

I have to talk to you

about these dates.

Rate this script:3.0 / 1 vote