Behind the Candelabra Page #4

We've got six months

of bookings.

I already told you

the dates I would do.

I'm not working after Thanksgiving

during the holidays.

Especially now.

But you can make double

on holiday shows.

Take a vacation later.

Seymour,

I do not want to be

the richest piano player

in the grave.

- Forget it.

- No, definitely not.

You're already

working too hard.

Lee, give the phone to Scott.

I have a question for him.

Hey, Seymour.

Hey, Scott.

Why don't you stay

out of my f***ing business?

Now give me back

to Lee.

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

No, you cannot come

for dinner tomorrow night.

I'm making pork.

Okay.

Bye-bye.

Ay-yi-yi!

Oy!

Doesn't he get insulted when you

don't invite him over for dinner?

He gets 10% of every

dollar I earn.

I don't have to

take him out for dinner.

And I don't want

any company.

I want my blond Adonis

all to myself.

Oh, sh*t!

Sh*t, sh*t, sh*t!

- Carson!

- Oh, hurry! Hurry!

Have we missed

my performance?

Oh. Tsk.

Oh, my Christ!

I look like my father!

I look like

my father in drag!

I look like my father in

"Hush, Hush, Sweet Charlotte"!

I would say

a full face lift...

with silicone implants

to prevent the return

of the lines

around the mouth.

My feeling?

Why go through all of the

work and the money...

just to have it all

fall down within a year?

You pay good money,

it should last.

Some of these doctors,

they keep you coming back

and paying,

time after time.

- I don't believe in it.

- No, you're right.

You know, I had

all this done a while ago,

but I don't think

he was as good as you are.

I'm going to recommend

a deep face peel

after the face lift.

You're going

to look fabulous!

You'll look as young

as Scott here.

Oh, thank you!

I feel so much better.

I mean, that Carson show

was like looking

at Dorian Gray

wither away in public.

But what about

the press?

How do we keep this

a secret?

We rent you a fully furnished

apartment under an alias

until the bandages

come off.

No one will know.

After that, you can

recuperate as you like.

Jack, I wish

I'd met you sooner.

I would still have

had a movie career!

That was my real dream--

to be a movie star.

Now, Jack, I want

to talk to you

about doing some surgery

on Scott here.

What?

Fine.

What would you like me

to do with Scott?

I want you to make Scott

look like this.

Can you do that?

Oh, I see.

Yes, I think

I can do what you want.

He's going to need

a nose job.

And I'm going to have to

restructure his cheekbones

and his chin

with silicone implants,

but it's not

impossible.

But first we have to

slim him down!

I have a terrific diet.

The California Diet.

Guaranteed loss of 15 pounds

in four weeks.

Are you f***ing kidding me?

The man wants to spend money to

make you thinner, prettier,

and younger and you are

thinking about not doing it.

But I am young.

Honey, in gay years,

you're Judy

during the Sid Luft

obese period.

Really?

They were talking about me

like I wasn't even there.

If Lee doesn't get what

he wants, you won't be.

Well, I guess

I should be flattered,

him wanting me

to look like him.

Imitation's

the highest form.

That's what they tell

drag queens when they're born.

Oh, I don't know, man.

I mean, won't it be weird

looking in a mirror

and not recognizing

myself?

Should we take the Auburn

or the Camaro?

I just don't understand

why I cannot keep my hair on

during the procedure.

If I die, I want you

to get in here--

I don't care if you have

to slap it on with Elmer's--

before anybody

sees me.

You're not

going to die.

Oh, you are doing

so well, Lee!

Isn't he doing well?

I guess it's time to get

started on you, huh?

First, we're going to do

something about that weight.

The California Diet.

Those pounds

will just fall off!

You look, easily,

right now...

like a man

in his mid-40s.

Will I be able

to close my eyes?

Not entirely.

But this way, you'll always be

able to see people's expressions

when they see

how fabulous you look.

Sweetie,

you're snoring.

Lee!

Sweetie, you're snoring.

Oh, look at you!

- My Adonis is coming back.

- Really?

Come here.

What are these for?

Post surgery.

Okay, but I stay

on the California Diet?

Perfectly safe.

Just keep

taking those.

And one of these

is a prescription

for my own

special diet pill.

Uh, I want

a dimple on my chin.

Scott, Lee doesn't have

a dimple on his chin.

I know, but...

You know,

it's my face.

Not too deep,

just a little one.

Okay.

You think

Lee'll be mad?

Sleep tight,

my baby boy.

I'll see you

on the other side.

Scott, it's

so good to hear your voice.

I'm sorry, Rose.

Just with Lee's schedule,

it's been so crazy.

I didn't say it

to make you feel bad.

So talk to me.

How are you?

You taking care

of yourself?

I'm great.

I've lost a whole lot

of weight, actually.

What for? You always

had such a nice build.

No, no,

it's a healthy thing.

It's the California Diet.

Lee and I

did it together.

He's really

into self-improvement.

Oh.

How is

Mr. Lee-berace?

He's great.

Actually,

we're going to see

some lawyers tomorrow...

because, um, he wants

to adopt me.

Adopt you?

I don't understand.

Why would a grown man want

to adopt another grown man?

So we can be family.

I don't understand.

In the state of Nevada,

if you're over 18,

you have the right

to be adopted...

whether your parents

are living or deceased.

So it won't be

an issue.

Well, then--

that's great.

Now, John, I want to make

this perfectly clear.

I don't want a word

of this out there

until the adoption is complete.

Not a word.

As your lawyer, I'm legally

bound not to discuss it.

I know, but, you know,

in casual conversation.

No one...

I mean, no one has ever

been closer to me

than this young man.

I want to make sure

he's taken care of forever...

no matter what

happens to me.

The coat costs $300,000.

It is made entirely

of virgin white fox.

The train

is 16 feet long--

that is the longest

in the world.

It was designed exclusively

for him by Anna Nateece.

It has $100,000 worth of

Austrian crystals which line it.

And that is why it is the

only coat in the world

with its own

chauffeur and car.

Oh, my God!

- Would you sign this?

- Sure, yes.

- Please. My name is Sue.

- Sue.

But, dear, you can ask him.

Oh, I know.

There you are.

- $3.

- Thank you.

You're Liberace's

son, aren't you?

So, how you doing, Ma?

You happy?

It is what it is.

Well, is the nurse

working out for you?

Yeah, I think so.

I mean,

they're fine.

So, is there

anything that you need?

No.

No, I'm just lonely,

that's all.

You can't do anything

for loneliness.

Well, you've got

George and Dora, right?

They're a few minutes away. Don't

they come down for a visit?

Same faces.

Every day,

same faces.

So, do you want me

to bring Angie from L.A.?

- Bring her down?

- Oh, no!

No, don't need that.

Please, I don't

need that. No.

No. All I need

is to be near you.

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