Being Julia Page #6

[Julia giggles]

[Avice moaning]

[Avice panting]

[Tom moaning]

[Both moaning]

[Tom grunts]

[Bell tolling]

Tom?

What?

Can I ask you a favor?

Anything in the world.

You know Julia Lambert well, don't you?

No, not well, slightly.

Oh.

Have you been to bed with her?

Are you crazy?

She's old enough to be my mother.

What about her?

I heard on the grapevine

that she's doing a new play

called "Nowadays",

and there's a part for me in it.

So I wondered if you...

If I'd talk to her?

Yes. Please, Tom,

I'm doing a Sunday night

performance week after next.

Terrible play. Lovely

part. Good shop window.

If you could get

her to see me in it--

Is that all? Consider it done.

I can get Julia Lambert

to do anything I want.

She eats out of my

hand. The part's yours.

Don't be daft,

I'd be lucky to get an audition,

never mind the part.

You'll be in that play or

I'll never kiss you again.

Must say,

never thought you'd keep this up.

Nor did I. But tummies will be tummies.

Saw the preliminary

budget for "Nowadays".

hmm. looks promising.

Must start auditioning. By the way,

have you ever heard of a

girl called Avice Crichton?

The name rings a bell.

I'm told she's rather good.

I was wondering if she might play Sybil.

Guess how I heard about her.

How?

Through Tom.

[Pedal clanking]

He says she's clever.

She's playing in a Sunday night show.

Tom thinks

it might be worthwhile

to go and have a look-see.

- Well, why don't you?

- Can't.

Going down to sandwich to play golf.

Staying the night.

Would it bore you awfully to go?

Tom'll take you.

I'll think about it.

Hmm, am I late or were you early?

The curtain goes up sharp at 8:00.

I hate getting to a

play after it's begun.

Remind me, uh,

what's the name of the actress

we're going to see tonight?

Avice Crichton. You met her.

She came to lunch at Taplow.

- We even fought over her.

- Did we?

- Mmm.

- I don't remember.

I can't wait to hear

what you think of her.

She's so nervous knowing

you're gonna be out front.

You know, these performances are like

rehearsals, but I said you'd understand.

BotToms up.

I had a letter from Roger.

He's having a fine old

time. He's in Rome now.

- Oh, yeah?

- She's awfully pretty.

Who are we talking about now?

Avice Crichton.

Oh.

Yeah, she's got a great

figure. And she's very fair.

What with platinum and peroxide,

there's no lack of blondes these days.

Hers is natural.

I wonder how you know that.

Keep the pace, Julia, don't rush it.

Nice and easy.

[Coughs]

God, this is undrinkable.

He'll have to make a fresh pot.

Julia, please don't.

[Bell tinkling] We'll be late.

The first few minutes don't matter.

But I said we'd be there on the dot.

She's got a very good scene

right at the beginning.

I'm sorry, but I can't

go without my coffee.

Wilson, can you make a fresh pot?

[Sighing] This tastes of bitter aloes.

[Laughs]

Bravo!

[Audience applauding]

[Laughs]

[Piano playing]

(Avice) What time did the

doctor say he was coming?

Any moment now.

Which one's Avice?

The pretty one.

(Avice) Oh, Cynthia,

I do hope he will be able to help me.

(Prompter) "He's meant

to be a miracle worker."

He's meant to be a miracle worker.

[Gasps]

I do so want to see again, Cynthia.

[Sobbing]

[Piano continues playing]

[Exclaims]

[Sobbing]

[Knocking on door]

Miss Lambert, this is such an honor.

You were great.

I'm so glad to meet you again.

And it's awfully good

of you to come round.

I- I'm afraid it's not much of a play

but I took a fancy to the part.

Oh, my dear,

Please don't weep. You're nervous.

And nerves are the respect

we pay our audience.

It was only the first few moments.

After that, you were

splendid, quite splendid.

- Thank you, miss Lambert.

- Of course.

Thank you so much.

Good night, miss

Crichton, and thank you.

You're so good at being blind.

Oh, thank you.

Ask her.

Miss Lambert,

is it true

you're putting on a new play soon?

Yes.

If there's a part for me in it,

could I audition for you?

I'll tell Mr. Gosselyn about you.

If you were to put

in a good word for me,

that would help so much.

I take my husband's advice

more often than he does mine.

Oh, and good night. Please, cheer up.

You should go a long way.

[Exclaims]

[Gasps]

[Screaming]

You didn't think much of her, did you?

On the contrary, I think

a great deal of her.

She's so energetic.

I don't feel like going to a restaurant.

Bolton, straight home, please.

Michael's away. We can talk.

Tell me,

have you been to bed

with Avice Crichton?

Of course not.

Why not? She's pretty.

She's not that sort

of girl. I respect her.

Hmm, do you know what I think?

I think you're madly in love with her.

Are you?

There's no need to

break up the happy home.

Yeah, I'm sorry. I don't

know why I did that.

You did it

because you haven't the

guts to tell me the truth.

You're in love with

that girl, aren't you?

Why not admit it?

Is it because you think

it would harm her

chances of playing Sybil

in the new play?

You ought to know me well enough by now

that I would never let sentiment

interfere with business.

What do you mean?

I think she's rather a find.

I'll tell Michael.

I'll insist she plays the part.

Oh, Julia, you're wonderful.

Hell, I'm so fond of you.

You...

I'm fond of you.

I've liked going to bed with you.

And it pleases me to think

that you liked going to bed with me.

[Laughs]

But let's face it.

I've never been in love with you

and you,

you've never been in love with me.

We both knew it couldn't last.

Hmm.

You're in love with

that girl, aren't you?

You might as well admit it.

Yes.

Go now. Please.

[Door closing]

For Christ's sake, Julia,

what do you think you're doing?

You disappoint me.

Oh, dear, oh, dear, you really do.

After all I've taught you?

You can't just stand there

like a spare prick at a wedding.

For Christ's sake,

Julia, assert yourself.

It's you that matters. You. Only you.

All's fair with love

and the theatre, ducky.

[Julia sobbing]

No one will ever know

how much I loved him.

he was my earth, my moon,

and all the stars in the firmament.

Farewell, my love.

[Audience applauding]

Oh, evening, Mr. Gosselyn.

I didn't expect you back tonight.

How was the golf?

Erratic.

How was the girl?

Oh.

- Brilliant.

- Really?

Very talented.

Yes, but can she act?

Oh, she has to play Sybil.

She's very pretty. Audition her.

You'll see what I mean.

(Michael) I saw the play tonight.

(Julia) Hmm. We took 5 calls.

[Toothbrush clattering]

Julia, I've got something to say to you.

Don't fly into temper, just listen.

What is it?

Why did you give such

a lousy performance?

- A lousy performance?

- Mmm-hmm.

That just shows how little you know.

I've never acted better in my life.

Balls. You were awful.

They adored me tonight.

The public are jackasses.

You were barnstorming.

False from beginning to end.

How dare you speak to me like that,

you little sh*t?

Rate this script:4.0 / 2 votes