Being Julia Page #7

Get out of my room! What do you know?

You can strike me,

you can swear at me, you

can yell the roof off.

The fact remains that your

acting has gone all to hell.

And I'm not going to

start rehearsing nowadays

with you playing up like a drama

queen suffering from asthma.

Get someone else to play the part!

Don't be stupid, Julia!

I'm taking the play off on Saturday.

And then I want you to go abroad.

Have a break.

Go and see your mother in Jersey.

We'll start rehearsing

"Nowadays" when you...

when you get back.

Am I really that bad?

(Michael) Yes.

Don't let the world

outside cheapen your gifts.

And what Jimmie Langton used to say:

"Your only reality is the theatre."

I hate myself. I'm a slut.

I'm just a rotten b*tch.

Rotten through and through.

Nevertheless, you're a great actress.

Not tonight.

No. Not tonight.

Oh, darling, I'm-- I'm

tired out. I...

So stupid of

me. I should--

[Shushing]

You're right. You're right.

[Sniffs]

The only thing is to go away.

Thank you.

[Seagulls cawing]

(Mrs. Lambert) It's so good to see you.

And no drafts,

that's very important, Julia, dear.

Aunt Carrie and I will be very careful

to see that you never sit in a draft.

And you must wear

socks and woolen vests.

I would sooner wear a shroud.

Oh, well, we will

discuss it in the morning.

[Seagulls cawing]

(Turnbull) Miss Avice Crichton.

Good afternoon.

Good afternoon.

I'm Michael Gosselyn.

Good afternoon, Mr. Gosselyn.

What are you going to do for us?

I thought I'd do something

from "Twelfth night".

Viola.

Ggood. In your own time.

"Make me a willow cabin at your gate

and call upon my soul within the house"

Now do it as if you've got a cold.

I beg your pardon?

Can you do it again,

but this time

as if you've got a bad cold in the nose.

[Nasalized] "Make me a

willow cabin at your gate

[Dolly snickering]

"and call upon my soul within the house

[Sniffs]

"write loyal cantons of contemned love

"and sing them loud

even in the dead of night

[Laughing]

Halloo

your name-- "

Thank you. Can you do a sneeze?

A what?

Can you do a good, big sneeze?

I think so.

[Avice inhaling]

I've got it. Tom, I've got it!

I've got it! (Tom) you got it!

[Mooing]

[Bee buzzing]

She's coming.

Don't over-dramatize, dear.

Just say, "Here's a telegram,"

as if it's the most

natural thing in the world.

Yes, but I hate telegrams.

Um, Julia, dear,

sit down and, uh, don't be alarmed.

What's happened?

Well, I'm afraid there's

a telegram for you.

Oh.

[Exclaims]

Oh, how lovely.

[Seagulls cawing]

I only realize now

how terribly I've missed

you all these months.

And I you. God, I've missed you.

come on, tell me all the gossip.

Oh, let's see.

Johnny Gore-Barker has run

off with Bunty Robinson.

- No.

- Yeah.

He can't have.

She looks like the back of a bus.

Oh, I don't think Johnny Gore-Barker

knows what a bus is, front or back.

Everyone's talking about this new girl,

- but of course you know that.

- What new girl?

The one who's to be in your next play.

Her name's Avice Crichton,

something like that.

Michael says she's to

be the new Julia Lambert.

Yes, yes, he wrote to me.

It was my idea. I'm delighted.

She's very pretty.

How madly generous of you.

(Charles) And London was

full of your mischief, Julia.

(Julia) Was it?

It sounds as if you

needed a hand to hold.

Are you through the worst?

I think my vanity

was more wounded than my heart.

I'm so sorry, Julia,

sorry that you've suffered.

I love you. I always have. Always will.

Charles, we're miles from home.

There's no one here who knows us.

Just... honey...

What?

don't let your vanity

be wounded again, um.

I'm not worth it.

There'd be no reason.

I love you

in-- in my own way.

Julia, we've always

known what that means.

You can't be in the

theatre and that naive.

I love you more than you can imagine.

But...

But what?

I play for the other side.

[Laughing] Charles.

Oh, darling.

[Seagulls cawing]

[Car honking]

[People chattering]

Hello.

(Julia) Oh, Grace.

I'm so happy you're with us!

Well, it's not much of a

part, but it is the west end.

Hello, dear.

[All chattering]

Hello, Michael,

I'd like to introduce

our distinguished author,

Mr. Walter Gibbs.

Oh, I can't tell you

how proud I am that you're on "Nowadays".

How sweet of you.

But you've given me a monstrous

speech at the end of the play.

I hope I can learn it.

You remember miss Crichton.

Miss Lambert. Oh, how could I forget.

She's playing Sybil.

Miss Lambert, I just

want you to know--

Have you seen Tom recently?

Uh, once or twice.

Miss Lambert, I just want you to know

I'm going to give my all in this part.

I'll give it my absolute all.

Now, now, you mustn't

be a little spendthrift.

All right, everybody, we'll start.

(Woman) Yeah.

So, if you'll find a chair.

"Oh, Millicent,

"then I asked if he could help me.

"I asked if he would give

me a letter to the bank.

"He lifted the towel.

"His nose was bright red

and his eyes were streaming.

"He looked awful. He said:

[Nasalized] 'I'm afraid I

have a nasty cold in my nose.'"

[All laughing]

Good.

"I hope you didn't catch it from him.

you can't afford a cold

with so much to do."

Go on.

"Then he sneezed.

"I don't think I've ever

heard such a sneeze, Millicent.

[Inaudible miming]

(Avice) "It began with a

monstrous intake of breath.

"Wait, wait. I'll show you.

[Avice inhaling]

[Avice gasping]

[Sneezes]

[All laughing]

"I said, 'bless you.'

"And he said, 'I won't say thank you

[Mimicking] 'as it's meant

to bring misfortune.'"

"We should have seen through him.

"Then it would never have happened.

"But nowadays

"we're only interested in appearances.

And he did have the most

beautiful appearance."

Uh, mumbo-jumbo. Bad

luck to say the last line.

[All clapping]

(Michael) Right, well, I think

we should call it a morning.

All right?

Couldn't be better.

Good reading.

Pleased with the company?

You've cast it splendidly.

The girl's clever, isn't she?

Yes, isn't she?

- Well, give my love to Roger.

- Ta.

[Door closing]

I wouldn't say this to your face,

so I'll say it to your

back. [Mirror squeaking]

I've missed you.

And I've missed you, Evie.

I did the usual things.

I saw the sights. Worked

hard at my Italian.

And went to the opera a good deal.

Have you made up your mind

what you're going to do yet?

I want to stop living

in an atmosphere of make-believe.

That's your world, not mine.

And it stifles me.

What do you mean?

Once, when I was a kid,

I was standing in the

wings watching you on-stage.

It must've been a pretty moving scene

because I couldn't stop blubbing.

You moved to the side of the stage

near where I was standing

and you turned your back on

the audience, and you said,

in your ordinary voice:

"What the bloody hell the

electrician thought he was doing

with the bright lights."

And then in the same breath,

with a great cry of anguish

you just went on with the scene.

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