Being Julia Page #9

[Inhaling]

[Sneezes]

[Audience laughing]

I was always inhaling

over steaming water and camphorated oil.

Oh, Millicent.

Then I asked if he could help me.

[Julia sneezes]

(Avice) I asked if he would give me

a letter to the bank.

He lifted the towel.

His nose was bright red

and his eyes were streaming.

He looked awful. he said:

[Nasalized] "I'm afraid I

have a nasty cold in my nose."

You're lying to me, Sybil.

You're not putting on that cold

because you've caught it

from sir Philip, haven't you?

Who wrote this balls?

(Julia) Was it because

you snuggled up beside him?

Was it because he made a pass at you?

[Avice exclaims]

Tell me the truth, Sybil.

[Audience laughing]

[Exhales]

He sneezed.

Oh.

I don't think

I've ever heard such

a sneeze, Millicent.

It began with a monstrous

intake of breath.

Wait, wait. I'll show you.

[Deep inhaling]

[Sneezes]

I said...

[Clears throat]

Oh, my God.

(Prompter) "Bless you."

[Audience giggling] "Bless you."

I said, "Bless you."

And he said, "I won't say thank you

as it's meant to bring misfortune."

[Julia mimicking Avice]

Misfortune, indeed.

[Audience laughing]

(Julia) No, now I get it!

Now I understand!

You're dilly-dallying with

sir Philip and young Ben.

[Laughs] No wonder you caught a cold.

Shame on you, Sybil.

Which is it to be?

The old man or the young boy?

[Gasps]

(Julia) Silly question, I suppose.

I know which one I'd choose.

[Audience laughing]

No, no, no, no, don't you go.

Stay exactly where you are.

I haven't finished with you.

Not remotely.

I want to know.

Did he make a pass at you

or did you make a pass at him?

I'm talking about the old man now,

not the young boy.

My God, this is complicated!

[Exclaims]

[Audience laughing]

[All applauding]

God!

God, God.

(Julia) Oh, no, no, don't cry.

[nasalized] It'll only

make you more miserable!

[Audience laughs]

I'll tell you what I

think happened. Huh?

Sir Philip got a little fresh with you,

didn't he?

And you, you, you, you couldn't resist.

It's rather difficult to get fresh

when you have a cold.

What did he say?

[Quavering] "Please, please,

make an old man happy."

[All laughing]

Naughty, Sybil, very naughty.

Trying to have sir Philip on the side.

And I've always found

it very uncomfortable

on the side.

(Julia) I think we should

punish him, don't you?

Or you.

[Sobbing]

Perhaps we should punish you.

But how? That's the question: how?

Hmm?

I know. We'll tell Ben.

[Giggling]

Oh, don't pretend you've

forgotten him. Ben.

B-E-N.

(Julia) Oh, dear, have I upset you?

Never mind, Sybil.

Just remember all's fair in war and...

[Sobbing]

War and...

Ph, hell, the word escapes me.

[Audience applauding]

(Audience) Bravo! Bravo!

(Man) Bravo!

You're a monster.

A wonderful, glorious monster.

It was great! You were superb!

Sweetheart.

- A real tour de force.

- Yes.

[Julia laughing]

Don't change a word.

Keep it just like that.

God, I hope-- I hope I

can remember what I said.

[Julia laughing]

[Michael exclaims]

You're so naughty.

That's why you love me.

Yes.

[Screaming]

That cow!

She is vile, disgusting, cruel.

She is a double-dyed b*tch!

We have a hit, Tom. A

palpable hit, my boy.

I want to leave.

I never want to act again.

Don't be so silly, you were wonderful.

Absolutely superb.

And now you're under contract.

It's clear the play's

going to run and run.

So you'll have the opportunity

to hone your performance.

Just think, 8 shows a week for a year,

playing opposite Julia Lambert.

It'll be an experience

you'll never forget.

Just have a great time, have fun.

[Wheezing]

[Shrieking] No! no!

[All chattering]

You're still the greatest

actress in England.

I'm going now. See you at the party.

And try not to be late.

It's going to be simply heavenly.

I'll be there.

Splendid. Oh, darling.

Magnificent. Absolutely wonderful.

They asked me how I knew

my true love was true...

(Antoine) Champagne,

mademoiselle Lambert?

No. Beer. A pint.

Everyone here is talking about

how wonderful you were tonight.

Ah, thank you.

...cannot be denied

they said someday you'll find

all who love are blind

Your only reality is the theatre.

Anything else, the outside world,

what civilians call the real world,

is nothing but fantasy.

And I bloody well

won't let you forget it.

Rubbish.

Are you expecting a guest?

Shall I place another plate?

No, thank you, Antoine.

I've decided not to go

to the first-night party.

I want to dine alone tonight.

Quite alone.

Yet today

my love has flown away

I am without

my love.

Now laughing friends deride

tears I cannot hide

so I smile and say

when a lovely flame dies

smoke gets in your eyes.

So I chaffed them

and I gaily laughed to think

they could doubt my love.

Yet today

my love has flown away

I am without

my love

now laughing friends deride

tears I cannot hide

so I smile and say

when a lovely flame dies

smoke gets in your eyes.

Rate this script:4.0 / 2 votes