Bell Book and Candle

1

[No Audible Dialogue]

[Purring] [Bell Jingles]

Oh, Pye, Pye, Pyewacket.

What's the matter with me?

Why do I feel this way?

It's such a rut.

The same old thing day after day.

The same old people.

Oh, I know I'm feeling sorry

for myself, but it's true.

Why don't you give me something

for Christmas, Pye? [Meows]

Hmm, what would I like?

[Meows] I'd like to do

something different.

I'd like to meet

someone different.

[Meows]

Look, there's that man upstairs.

[Purring]

[Purring Continues]

He's different.

Why don't I ever know

people like that? Hmm?

Why don't you give me him

for Christmas, Pye? [Meows]

Why don't you give me him?

[ Whistling Deck the Halls]

[Continues]

[Woman] Oh, dear!

[Drawer Closes]

You startled me.

Well, we're even.

Who are you?

You do have a nice place here.

Thank you. Would you mind if I ask

what you're doing in it?

Certainly not.

I was going downstairs, and

your door happened to be open.

And I saw your window open too.

And the snow was coming through,

and I thought

you'd like me to close it.

So I did.

Uh-huh.

Uh, it's odd I had

to unlock the door to get in.

Yes, isn't it?

After all, you are fairly new

in the building.

I was only being neighbourly.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, are you the one

that lives above me?

Ah. Well, tell me something,

would you?

Are you studying dramatics,

by any chance? Dramatics?

Well, at night, I hear you through

the ceiling as I'm trying to sleep.

It sounds as though you're

reciting or something.

- Can you understand what I say?

- No.

I'll try not to do it so loudly.

You read, don't you?

And you have such a correspondence.

I straightened your desk up a bit.

I'm afraid you're very sloppy.

Well, if you don't mind terribly,

I have some telephoning to do

some personal telephoning.

Before you moved in,

a theosophist lived here,

and he was very pleasant.

Very pleasant.

Wow.

[ Garbled Voice On Phone, Singing]

[Dials Operator] Hello?

[Distorted Voice Speaking

Foreign Language] Operator?

[Knocking]

[Knocking Continues]

I'm sorry to bother you.

I'm Shepherd Henderson. I live just above.

I know.

I'm Gillian Holroyd.

How do you do?

My phone seems to be out of order.

I wonder if I might use yours.

I'm late for an appointment.

Certainly. Come in.

Thank you.

It's in the back.

Thank you.

You reading this?

Oh, Magic in Mexico. Yes.

Are you interested

in that sort of thing?

Well, not personally, but,

professionally, I'm a publisher.

Hello, operator?

I'd like to report a phone out of order.

All right.

Did you publish that?

No, but I wish I had.

Sold like the Kinsey Report.

Well, I can't think why.

It's completely phony.

- Oh, it is?

- I spent a year in Mexico.

I'm sure they fed him a lot of fake

tourist stuff, and he swallowed it whole.

Maybe they did that

to Kinsey too.

I certainly wish

I'd put this one out though.

As a matter of fact, I understand Redlitch

is about ready to change publishers.

And, uh-Uh, yes.

Well, I'll wait.

Would you like to meet him?

- You know him?

- No, but I might know someone who does.

Well, I understand he's a drunk and a nut, but

there's always a big market for the supernatural.

Yes, I'd like very much to meet him.

- Then I'll see if I can arrange it sometime.

- Thank you.

Uh, uh- Supervisor?

My number is Chickering 4-5099,

and it's out of order.

Well, I don't know

what's wrong with it.

If you want my opinion I

think it's sick. [Laughs]

Well, no matter what I dial, I get

nothing but these idiotic sounds. I...

How's that? No, that's just it.

They're not mechanical.

They're more human.

Or inhuman.

Well, maybe it is goblins.

I know it sounds strange,

but I want it fixed, huh?

Merry Christmas to you too.

[Handset Settles In Cradle]

Perhaps you need a drink.

Well, I'm in an awful hurry.

Maybe I can have a rain check.

Certainly.

Thank you.

There we are.

This is a fascinating shop.

What's this? That's a Bayaka

mask from the Belgian Congo.

Looks a little like a German governess

I used to have.

How did you ever

get interested in all this?

I majored in anthropology at college.

Gillian, you've got to change

your mind and come along.

I didn't know you had company.

This is Shepherd Henderson, Queenie.

This is my aunt, Miss Holroyd.

Your aunt?

Mr. Henderson and I

saw each other a little earlier.

I'm afraid he thinks I've been naughty.

Oh, no. No, not exactly.

Oh, good.

Gillian, you can't stay in tonight.

All our friends will be at the Zodiac.

Mr. Henderson, persuade her for me.

The Zodiac? I don't think I know it.

I don't imagine you would.

It's kind of a dive.

But it's fun.

[Laughs]

Coax her for me.

Uh-huh.

Well, is it fun?

It certainly can be.

Well, then you oughtn't

stay home Christmas Eve.

Yeah. Well, now, thanks again

for the phone.

And merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

Good night.

Merry Christmas.

I think you like him.

Yes, I do.

Very much.

Did you bring him here?

No. No, he came to use the phone.

[Laughs]

You broke into his apartment,

didn't you?

I didn't break in, dear.

And you fixed his phone.

I'm angry with you, Queenie.

Really angry. You promised.

I promised to be careful.

Besides, it serves him right.

He wasn't nice to me at all.

And what harm did I do? I didn't take anything.

All right, I read his letters.

Now really, Queenie.

But it's not as if I were going

to make use of them.

It's too bad, though,

he's getting married, isn't it?

He's getting married?

How do you know?

Oh, one of his letters, I suppose.

[Chuckles]

Well, that rules him out.

I don't see why.

I don't take other woman's men.

But it would be so easy,

and it would be such good practice

for you, darling.

And he'd never suspect,

not in a million years.

[Meows] Honestly, it's amazing

the way people don't.

They just don't believe

there are such things.

I sit in the subway sometimes

or on buses or at the movies.

I look at the people next to me,

and I think,

What would you say

if I told you I was a witch?

[Chuckling]

I know they'd never believe it.

They just wouldn't believe it.

And I'd giggle- [ Giggles]

and giggle to myself.

[Bell jingles] You have got

to stop giggling here.

Queenie, I want you to swear that you'll

stop practising in this apartment house.

But you practice here.

I can be discreet about it. You can't.

I shall move to a hotel.

Very well then.

But if you get into trouble there,

don't look for me to get you out.

Auntie, I want you to swear...

that you will never practice

witchcraft again in this house.

If you don't, you'll be sorry.

And you know I can make you sorry too.

"Say I swear."

I swear.

[Sighs]

Really, Auntie.

It's for our own good, dear.

Well, I think you're very cruel.

[Meows]

if you'll wait, I'll change.

[Purring]

[Jazz Combo]

[Crowd Chattering, Laughing]

[Continues]

[Man]

I was present. I was there.

There were only a few of us, of course,

but I actually saw her do it.

I'm afraid I must agree with you...

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