Bend It Like Beckham Page #2

lnnit, innit? l know!

Look! e's taking his shirt off.

Oh, my God. A body like that should

come with an X-certificate warning!

- And a lifetime guarantee, man.

- Yeah, man. Call Jess.

- Call Jess!

- Oi! Jess!

Jess, man, who's your friend

with the gorgeous bod?

The one with the six-pack.

- lf he looks at me, l really will faint.

- What? Taz?

- az.

- ls that his name?

Look at that kick!

- e is so fly!

- That is fine.

That is so fine.

- Get your girlfriend, man!

- Jess!

- Go on, Jess. Lover-boy's calling you.

- Oh, shut up.

You know he's just my mate.

We're not all slags like you lot!

Ooh!

B*tch! Just cos she's still a V, man,

she thinks she's better than us, innit?

Yeah, but at least she hasn't got off

with half of ounslow like you two.

'y, who's that gori watching her?

- Come on, Jess.

- Go on, Jess.

All the way, it's all yours!

What are you doing, man?

- i.

- i.

hat was brilliant.

Do you play for any side?

Yeah, like who?

Southall United Sari Squad?

l play for ounslow arriers girls' side.

It's close season but we've got

a summer tournament coming up.

- You should come along, have a trial.

- A trial? Think l'm good enough?

Yeah. l've watched you a couple of times,

you got on really good.

It's up to our coach,

but l know we could do with some new blood.

- Jess, that's brilliant!

- Yeah, nice one, Jess.

Do you swap shirts at the end of matches?

- And get in the bath together?

- Where's the soap?

lt does, doesn't it, lads?

Let's play football.

- l'm Jules.

- Jess.

i.

Yes!

l don't give a damn what the people say

l'm gonna do it my way,

gonna do it my way

Boom, boom, a bang bang bang

Gonna let it all out

an' do my thing

A boom, boom, boom

an' a bang bang bang

Boom, bang, boom, bang bang

Do your thing

l want two groups, three in each group.

Let's move!

ow do you know she's serious?

l haven't got time to piss around.

- She's got balls, Jo. At least watch her.

- iya.

- Where do you normally play?

- In the park.

- l mean what position?

- Oh, sorry.

l usually play all over, but up front -

on the right is best.

- Get your boots on.

- l haven't got any.

Right, join in. Start warming up.

- Where should l put this?

- Put it over here.

Jesus!

Pass it to Jules!

Brilliant!

- ow did it feel out there?

- Brilliant. Really, really great.

l've never seen an lndian girl into football.

I didn't even know

they had a girls' team here.

lt's all her fault.

l used to play for the men's club,

and she used to hang around whining

that there was no team for her to play on.

l wasn't whining!

Nah, there was nothing here for us girls.

There was, like, junior boys' stuff,

but when he busted his knee,

he set up a girls' side,

and he's been on my case ever since.

They made me start at the bottom.

You can't get much lower than her!

You're so full of it!

Nah, we get just as many trophies

as the men's side do.

So, does she pass?

- Are your folks up for it?

- Yeah, they're cool.

Suppose you'd better come back, then.

l've got to go open the bar.

Some real work!

- e likes you.

- You think so?

e asked you back, didn't he?

- ow long have you been playing?

- For ages, but just in the park.

- Nothing as serious as this.

- This, serious?

lt'll do for now.

l want to play professionally.

Wow! Can you do that?

I mean as a job, like?

Sure. Not really here,

but you can in America.

hey've got a pro league

with new stadiums and everything.

Really?

Can't believe it.

It's a proper pitch with lights,

corner flags, changing rooms...

The coach likes me.

e really knows his stuff.

Must be gutted he can't play

with his injury and all.

Jules is so lucky!

er mum and dad

must really support her

to let her go all the way

to America to play.

l don't even know how to tell my mum and dad

about ounslow arriers.

Will you both pack it in?!

Look at the state of my fuchsias!

Alan, when are you gonna realise

you have a daughter with breasts, not a son?

- Mum!

- Paula, please.

No boy's gonna want to go out with a girl

who's got bigger muscles than him!

- Why don't you just leave her alone?

- l'm not gonna give it up!

l'm just saying that l saw that evin last night

in the high street with a blonde girl

and it didn't look like they were talking

about Match of the bleedin' Day either!

evin can shag whoever he bloody wants!

oney, all l'm saying is

there is a reason why Sporty Spice

is the only one of them without a fella.

- Sweetheart...

- See what you've done?

Why don't you just get off her flamin' back?

lf she'd rather play football right now

than chase boys,

quite frankly, l'm over the moon about that.

- They're a bit tatty, but they'll do.

- Thanks.

ere's a kit.

Don't be afraid to get it dirty.

Can l not wear my tracksuit bottoms?

No.

Sh*t!

Jess, get changed over here.

- You've met our captain, Mel.

- Yeah, nice to meet you.

All right? You up for a proper match?

Chiswick next.

Best defensive record in the division.

- They're due for a good stuffing.

- Absolutely.

We need some pace up front.

Jules could do with some decent service.

Welcome to the arriers.

Painters and decorators are in.

Jules, take over the warm-up.

Come on, girls, keep going! eads up!

Jess, what's going on?

lt looks awful.

- lt's why l can't wear shorts ever.

- Jesus.

That's a stunner.

l thought l had a bad one on my knee

but yours is gorgeous.

Look, don't worry about it.

No one's gonna care once you're out there.

- What happened?

- You don't want to know.

Look...

Two operations later and it's still useless.

Yours affect your game?

Nah, it just looks awful.

l was eight.

My mum was working overtime at eathrow

and I was trying to cook beans on toast.

When l jumped up to the grill to get

the toast, my trousers caught alight,

so my sister put me in the bath,

poured cold water over me

and pulled them off,

but half my skin came off, too.

Sorry.

l know.

Put me off beans on toast for life.

Come on.

Mine stopped me from playing outright,

yours doesn't.

- No more dawdling.

- Sorry about your knee.

Yeah, yeah.

l'm a right sob story, aren't l?

Come on!

l want to see some sweat on you!

Well, she's all you'd ever want

She's the kind they'd like to flaunt

and take to dinner

And she always knows her place

She got style, she got grace

She's a winner

She's a lady

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa

She's a lady

l'm talking about my little lady

Oh, whoa, whoa, she's a lady

Lady

Well, she's a lady!

Oh, whoa, whoa

She's a lady

Go on then, boys, come on.

- ey, ony!

- What are you here for, fantasy football?

Wow, Jess. You look like a pro.

lt's brilliant. They're a top team

and the coach is ace.

xcellent.

- What's that down your leg?

- aven't you seen a burn before?

- That's disgusting, man!

- Back off, you wanker!

No, it's fine.

At least l can still skin you alive!

The skill, the skill!

The skill! Oh, the skill.

That's not fair!

e was touching you all over!

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes