Bend It Like Beckham Page #6

- Jeswinder, isn't it?

- Jesminder.

Jesminder, oh yeah, l'm sorry.

l cooked a lovely curry the other day.

Darling?

Oh, you still not up?

Guess who's come to see you.

lt's your lndian friend, from football.

Jules has been ever so down

since you lost in Germany.

Maybe you can cheer her up a bit, eh?

Do you two want some tea?

l've just made some

cheese straws with real Gruyere.

No, it's all right, Mum.

Jess won't be staying long.

Well...

just give us a shout downstairs

if there's anything you two fancy.

All right?

Look, Jules, l feel really bad

about what happened.

Yeah, well, you should.

l'm sorry.

I don't want you

to be in a strop with me.

l'm not in a strop!

Look, it was a mistake.

l didn't know what l was doing!

l can't believe you kissed him.

l didn't.

Yeah, right!

Jess, I know what I saw.

You knew he was off limits!

Don't pretend to be so innocent.

You knew exactly how l felt about him!

You told me you didn't like him,

now you act like you're in love with him!

You don't know the meaning of love!

You've really hurt me, Jess!

That's all there is to it!

You've betrayed me!

So that's it?

Yeah, that's it. Bye!

Goodbye, Mrs Paxton.

What's going on?

That is why she's been

so depressed lately.

Cos that Jess broke her heart.

She's in love.

With a girl!

You're jumping

to all the wrong conclusions.

But l heard her!

No wonder she never looked twice

at that evin or brought any boys home.

l tried to get her nice clothes.

You know, we've had some lovely prints

in this summer,

you know, in swimwear

and sarongs and that...

but she never wants

to go shopping with me.

lt was terrible what they did

to that George Michael.

Going on about him and his private business

in the papers like that.

Oh, no!

George Michael is still a superstar

and you still listen to Wham!

Do you fancy me, Tony?

- I like you, yeah...

- Maybe we can go out, then, yeah?

Jess, what's going on?

l just think l need an lndian boyfriend.

What is going on, Jess?

You're acting all weird.

l'm sorry.

- You know my coach, yeah?

- Yeah.

l nearly kissed him in Germany.

Wow! And that's why you need

an lndian boyfriend?

Well, Jules likes him, too,

and now she hates me.

Look, Jess, you...you can't plan

who you fall for. lt just happens.

- l mean, look at Posh and Becks.

- Well, Beckham's the best.

- Yeah, l really like Beckham, too.

- Of course you do.

No one can cross a ball

or bend it like Beckham.

No, Jess...

l really like Beckham.

What, you mean...?

But you're lndian!

l haven't told anyone.

God, what's your mum gonna say?

- My sister thinks you're mad about me.

- I am.

l just don't want to marry you.

Wonder what all those tossers

would say if they knew?

Jess, you're not going to tell anyone?

Course not. lt's O, Tony.

I mean, it's OK with me.

Yeah, well, you fancying

your gora coach is O with me.

Besides...

he's quite fit!

Listen, yeah? Be back by three.

l can't keep 'em at the temple all day.

- l owe you big time.

- Laters.

- Get back into bed.

- Bring me back some langar.

We're going to pray to God

to give you both sense,

not bring back food for you.

Red alert, red alert,

it's a catastrophe

But don't worry

Don't panic

Ain't nothing going on

but history, yeah-eah

onestly, Dad, l'll go inside and get it.

And the music keeps on playing

on and on

Jessie, it's only me.

And the music keeps on playing

Jessie, my darling.

Jessie? Jessie?

Red alert, red alert,

it's a catastrophe

But don't worry...

Look at her arse!

They don't all look like lezzies, do they?

Check out the b*obs on the captain!

Jeez, man, they must get in the way!

She's lucky she ain't knocked herself out,

running up and down the pitch with them.

Why can't you lot

just see them as footballers?

What?

To the side! To the side!

Come on! Move it!

Down one-nil. Come on!

Over here! Over here! Come on!

Go on, Jess!

Jules! Over! Jules!

Come on, arriers!

Me! Me!

Over here, Jules!

Go on, Jess!

Go on! Go on!

- What you playing at?

- Piss off, Paki!

Sod you!

- Go away. Go away. Number 7, come here.

- Did you see that?

What's the matter with you, ref?

Violent conduct towards another player.

No!

You haven't seen any of it, have ya?

She fouled her! That's out of order!

She is so hard!

Oh, man! Unlucky, Tony, mate!

Shut up.

What the hell's wrong

with you, Bhamra?

l don't ever want to see anything like that

from you ever again!

Do you hear me?!

We're lucky they're not suspending

players from this tournament!

All right, excellent!

We've got QPR in the final.

- Give yourself three cheers. ip, hip!

- ooray!

- ip, hip!

- ooray!

Brilliant!

Why did you yell at me like that?

You knew the ref was out of order!

Jess, you could have cost us the tournament.

But it wasn't my fault!

- You didn't have to shout at me!

- Jess, l am your coach.

I have to treat you

the same as everyone else.

Look, Jess, l saw it.

She fouled you. She tugged your shirt.

You just overreacted, that's all.

That's not all! She called me a Paki,

but l guess you wouldn't understand

what that feels like, would you?

Jess, l'm lrish.

Of course l'd understand

what that feels like.

Jesminder?

Oh, here he is.

Tejinder's mother and father

have come to speak to us.

- Are you well?

- Thank you, yes.

What's happening?

Teet's mum and dad

have come to eat dirt.

Stupid cow. l don't know

who she thinks she is in that sari.

No mother can stand by

and watch her son go through this.

Well, our Pinky, she didn't come

out of her room for days.

- She was crying.

- Our eetu also.

For days he has eaten nothing,

and drunk nothing!

All right.

Thank you for coming.

Thanks, Dad! Mum!

l'm getting married!

We'll give them a wedding party

they won't forget their whole life!

- Find out which date the hall is free.

- I'll do that.

Jessie, go and get the old wedding cards.

hey're in the extension.

We'll change the dates by hand.

Now, we'll have...

My name is Mohan Singh Bhamra.

..and paneer tikka.

We'll show them we're not poor people!

Yeah, just hold on.

Will Sunday the 25th be O?

- The 25th?

- There's a cancellation.

No, that's too soon, we need more time.

Yeah, just hold on, please.

After that, there is no date available

for five months.

Oh, please, don't let me wait that long!

OK, OK, fine, baba, let's just do it

before something else goes wrong!

But, Dad, the 25th...

No, that was not for you.

l'm so excited!

Your sister needs you.

Mel said you wanted to see me.

lt's about Jess.

l don't want to talk about Germany, Joe.

- Listen, Jules...

- Whatever! l'm over it!

I don't even know why I was surprised!

You never think about anyone but yourself!

veryone knows

you're leaving us next season!

Nothing's been decided.

Bollocks.

You've already lied about the American scout.

e's never gonna show up, is he?

You can't bear the idea of anyone

else making it, because you can't!

e's coming to the final.

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