Bernard And Doris Page #2

I mean, I left rather abruptly.

- I think I should call them then.

- Mm.

Look, don't apologize

to anybody, understand?

Eva Braun,

she really deserves it.

And I'm not going back.

Yes, let's get you into

bed now and get some rest.

- Oh wait a minute, shoes.

- Okay.

There we go.

Allow me just to...

there you go.

- Just get the clothes out of the way.

- Oh God.

It's a tragedy.

I'm telling you, Rafferty,

I've spent millions,

literally, millions.

Look at these suitcases

under my eyes... look at this.

Come here, look at this.

This is time

catching up with me.

L... I can't see

anything there, ma'am.

Oh, your eyes...

are they blue or grey?

Uh, they're...

they're blue-grey, I think.

Oh, wow.

- Oh.

- You should go to sleep.

Go to sleep, ma'am.

- Oh.

- Are you gonna be warm enough there?

- Ma'am?

- Yeah, sit down right here.

Uh, I'll sit here and then

I can get you what you need.

No, come back here.

What are you doing?

Get your ass over here.

Sit down.

Oh.

Um, ma'am, I...

You should have some water here.

Okay.

Just take a wee sip there.

That's it.

That's water.

It is, ma'am.

Ah.

- Dehydrated otherwise.

- Mm.

There.

Okay.

Mm.

You should get into the bed.

Ma'am.

- Oh.

- There you are.

Are you warm enough there, Miss Duke?

Oh yeah, I'm... yeah.

Still a little confusing.

Who's that?

Let me... let me just slip that out.

Mm.

See? We have a wee temperature

of just over 99.

Just take these now.

What is that?

Antibiotics.

What I need now

is the strongest

pain pill known to man.

Okay, but take these first.

I remember leaving the clinic.

L... I...

remember being in the car.

But you know,

it's like a jigsaw puzzle

put together in my head.

And I...

I remember taking a drink.

A drink or two,

plus a few painkillers.

Oh.

Lafferty, did we f*** last night?

No, ma'am.

I don't know if you fitted the nurse

piece into your jigsaw puzzle.

Oh, sh*t.

I'm gonna get sued again.

No no no, I called

the clinic this morning.

I explained that you had

a bad reaction to the medication.

I told them that you

regretted the incident.

And I hope you don't mind,

but I took the liberty

of sending the nurse some flowers

and a wee gift certificate.

For how much?

- $5,000.

- Jesus.

All concerned agreed that the matter

is now completely closed.

Bet she spends it all

on Nazi memorabilia.

That's good.

Well done.

Will that be all, Miss Duke?

Yeah.

Mmm. Oh, but, Lafferty,

your outfit...

- Yes, ma'am?

- Um...

well, you look like

a goddamn undertaker.

I mean, you think you

could lighten up a little bit?

Of course.

I'll do that.

Miss Duke?

Can I help you, ma'am?

Yes, you can start on that.

My babies have outgrown

their pots

and I'm going to

repot them all.

Right you are.

- This one here, is it?

- This one.

Right here.

Take that out...

and then you'll cut it in half.

- Take it out?

- Mm-hm.

Here, let me help you.

There.

- Okay, now try.

- Okay.

You loosened...

loosened it up.

Mm-hm.

- There we go.

- That's it, that's it.

- And get your knife.

- All right.

And don't... here,

put it in the alcohol first.

Just one infected bulb

and they'll all go.

- That's it.

- In half?

Mm-hm.

Tough little creatures, huh?

And then any of the bulbs that don't

have leaves, you're gonna get rid of.

All right.

Then you can fill it up and you can clip

off the excess dried roots.

You can see which ones

they are with this.

L... I worked in a flower nursery

some time ago for a while.

And if I may say so,

Miss Duke,

you have one hell

of a collection of orchids.

Yes.

This is my newest baby.

All the way from Brazil.

It doesn't look like much now,

but wait until you

see it in bloom.

You know, my daddy...

he loved orchids.

And when he died,

they put a mountain of 'em

around his... his casket.

Must have been $25,000 worth.

I still remember

the way that church smelled.

Gonna need you to go

to the bank for me tomorrow

- and get some cash.

- Yes, ma'am.

I'll call them in the morning.

What's your name?

I'll need to tell them.

- Lafferty.

- Your first name.

Bernard.

Mm.

I'm going away for a while and

I've decided to take you with me.

- Ma'am?

- Yes, you.

Yes, ma'am.

Now cut it...

use the knife.

Uh... dup-up!

Dip it in the alcohol first.

We'll take it when

I get back, all right, sweetie?

You told me that

the last time you went away.

- Did I say that, really?

- You said that, really.

I'm so bad.

- You really are.

- Did you go to the bank?

Ah, and you counted it?

Here you go.

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

So you're getting ready

to leave town already?

I am.

So I was thinking...

maybe...

maybe I could

hang out here for a while...

- No no.

... while you're gone.

- What do you mean, no?

- No. No way.

All these rooms

just sitting here empty?

The rooms will be fine.

I just hate to see this whole house

sitting here empty.

Oh, it's so sad.

No. Don't take it personally.

- I am taking it personally.

- Of course you are.

- Whatever.

- Oh, "whatever. "

Oh, you're sulking now.

- Am I sulking?

- You're sulking.

- I'm not sulking.

- Yes you are.

Come on...

oh yes you are. Yes you are.

Come on, don't sulk.

I'm not sulking.

Don't be mad.

It's nothing.

- I'm not sulking.

- Yes you are.

Make sure that these boxes

are secured, please.

No, be careful with these.

Please lass, thank you.

How do you like living in

my world so far, Bernard?

I like it very much.

Who wouldn't?

Let me see your palm.

- You're right-handed.

- I am.

So this is what you're born with,

this is what you become.

You have a...

oh, an old soul

with a double heart line,

and all these little things coming off

- are unhealthy relationships.

- Is that right?

Am I right?

Is that an unhealthy relationship?

I don't know, is it?

I mean, I've had a few...

unhealthy relationships.

Uh-huh.

And this is

a very unusual line.

See, I have that also.

That's your fate line.

That means that very extraordinary

things will cross your path,

and you have to be alert

or they'll just pass you by.

Oh.

And...

yeah, well, what is

your star sign?

That's never been my scene.

Uh, Aries, is it?

When's your birthday?

So you are an instigator,

you start things.

You're... well, you hit a wall,

you get right

back up again

and then hit

the same wall again.

Uh, sounds familiar.

And... really?

So that does sound familiar?

Uh, I like to do embroidery.

Uh, call Vincent and tell him

that I don't want him

to exercise the dogs

until we get there.

Have him check the surf report.

You haven't lived until

you've surfed the tube in the bay.

You brought swim trunks,

I assume?

No, ma'am,

I can't swim.

Well then, put that down...

"Swimming lessons for Lafferty. "

Ma'am, I don't think that

will be necessary.

No just...

I'm serious, write it down.

- Sure.

- Put it on the list.

Memo to staff...

Miss Duke and I shall remain

in Hawaii for another three months.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes